Keep It V: From Masking to Black Autistic Boy Joy | Malcolm White | TEDxKingLincolnBronzevillle

23 Dec 2024 (12 days ago)

Masking and Unmasking

A black autistic man with ADHD lived nearly three decades behind a mask, not knowing he was wearing it, and it told him to walk, look, and act in certain ways to fit in, or else he wouldn't be accepted (1m18s).
The mask is a lived experience, a memory, that takes one's breath away, tightens the chest, and blurs vision, making it hard to see oneself and the world around (1m12s).
The speaker invites the audience to imagine what might happen if they take off the mask, embracing vulnerability, choosing visibility, and using their voice to make their life and the world around them better (2m21s).
The journey through masking and unmasking is one of suffocating and then breathing, being in prison and then finding freedom (2m48s).
Vulnerability is a key aspect of this journey, and unmasking isn't just about autism, but about shedding the layers of expectations and societal norms that weigh us down (2m59s).

The speaker shares a personal experience of being discouraged from playing basketball in high school because of his vernacular, which made him feel like his intellect wasn't valuable and encouraged him to put on the mask (5m9s).
The speaker asks the audience to ponder the question of who they are supposed to be and why, highlighting the weight of masks and the importance of embracing one's true self (5m57s).

The average life expectancy of autistic people is 35 years old, which is 12 to 30 years shorter than their neurotypical counterparts, due to the high level of coping required to live in a world not built for them (6m41s).
This statistic is personal to the individual, as their daughter is 12 years old and they were officially diagnosed with autism at the age of 30 (7m40s).
The individual realized they were different from a young age, and one of their first poems, "Fitted Capap," unknowingly journaled their lived autistic experience, describing feelings of ostracism, being mocked, and having a curious intellect (8m8s).
The poem also described building walls to protect themselves, which they later realized was a coping mechanism (8m58s).
The individual was non-verbal for the first two years of their life but was always good at recognizing patterns and rhymes (9m10s).
A poem they wrote mentioned needing to be seen as valuable, but not for ego or credit, rather to feel like they belonged somewhere (10m16s).

The individual's journey of self-discovery began when they heard someone in their community talk about their autism diagnosis, which resonated with them and led to their own clinical diagnosis at age 30 (10m39s).
They were influenced by musicians like Kanye, Eminem, and Kid Cudi, who shared their lived experiences through music, and the individual identified with their stories (11m12s).
The realization of being different and choosing to be vulnerable about it can be a powerful experience, allowing individuals to feel permission to be themselves and love who they are, despite being different (11m27s).
Learning to love oneself first from others who love themselves despite being different can be a crucial step in self-acceptance, and receiving a diagnosis can bring a sense of understanding and happiness (11m50s).
A diagnosis of autism can bring a sense of relief and understanding, as it helps individuals realize they are not broken, but rather different, and there are many others who share similar experiences (12m12s).

High-functioning autism, also known as masking, can lead to imposter syndrome, as individuals may not appear to be autistic, but still experience the challenges that come with it (12m38s).
Kanye West's music, particularly his album about self-discovery and being neurodivergent, can be a source of inspiration and encouragement to be open and honest about one's feelings and experiences (13m14s).

Taking the challenge to be vulnerable and open about one's feelings and experiences can be a liberating experience, allowing individuals to feel free and be themselves without fear of scrutiny or judgment (14m10s).
Embracing one's true self and being open about it can be a beautiful experience, and it's essential to create space for others to share their lived experiences and feel comfortable being themselves (15m20s).
Sharing one's truth and lived experience can be uncomfortable, but it's necessary to create a safe and supportive environment for others to do the same, and it's essential to acknowledge the harm that can come from not understanding and accepting others' differences (16m10s).

The concept of "keeping it V" is a two-way street, requiring acceptance and honesty from individuals, particularly those who consider themselves "good guys" (16m59s).
In June 2020, during the MeToo movement, people in the speaker's village pointed out that the issues of debauchery and misconduct were not limited to Hollywood, but also occurred in their immediate circle (17m17s).
The speaker initially reacted with denial, but upon reflection, realized that they had been socialized to objectify women, recalling being taught to dance with girls by grabbing them and pulling them over (18m10s).
This realization led to the understanding that the way "good guys" are socialized can contribute to creating a problematic world, where consent is not properly understood or respected (18m35s).
The ultimate message is that "keeping it V" is not just about autism, but about telling the truth to oneself and others, and creating a safe and honest environment for everyone (19m4s).
By "keeping it V," individuals can create a world that is not only safe for themselves but also for those around them, allowing for freedom and honesty in their lived experiences (19m29s).