A Man’s Guide To Feeling Your Feelings - Connor Beaton

Why Men Have a Bad Reputation With Emotions (0s)

• Men have a bad reputation with emotions because when their emotions are intense, they can be loud, big, and overwhelming, leading to a negative perception (15s).
• Men have been socialized to suppress their emotions, with previous generations being told to repress their feelings, leading to a lack of emotional expression and a disconnection from their emotions (34s).
• This suppression has resulted in men cutting themselves off from important emotional data and information, making it difficult for them to speak the language of emotions (58s).
• Despite this, men feel emotions deeply, and the issue is not that men don't feel, but rather that they have not been taught how to navigate and express their emotions in a healthy way (1m16s).
• The lack of positive emotional role models for men, such as Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin, has contributed to the negative perception of men and emotions (1m47s).
• Traditional masculine ideals, such as mastery over emotions and a reliable, controlled emotional state, can make it difficult for men to express their emotions without feeling like they are compromising their masculinity (2m41s).
• Society does not reward men for being emotionally expressive, and instead, men are often ridiculed or rejected for showing vulnerability, making it difficult for them to open up emotionally (3m49s).
• Men are often incentivized to suppress their emotions and instead rewarded for being emotionally intelligent in the sense that they can hold their emotions together, even if it's not healthy for their mental and physical well-being (4m31s).
• The suppression of emotions can lead to denial, which can appear similar to emotional intelligence, but is actually detrimental to a person's well-being (4m54s).

Men’s Emotions in Dating (5m22s)

• A proposed solution to determine if a partner can handle emotional vulnerability is to test them early on in the dating process by sharing personal emotions or sending articles about sensitive topics, such as the neurobiology of depression, to gauge their response (5m49s).
• Talking about emotions early on in a relationship can help determine if the partner is able to sit with and hold the space for emotional openness (6m32s).
• Over-indexing on emotional openness as soon as possible in a relationship can help identify if the partner is able to handle it, and if not, it may be a sign of a potential issue in the relationship (6m49s).
• A relationship should be the safest harbor for individuals to deal with difficult emotions and experiences, and if a partner cannot handle emotional openness, it may be a problem for the relationship (7m29s).
• The foundation of attachment in a relationship is going through a hard time and coming out the other side, and being able to navigate hardships together can determine the quality and longevity of the relationship (8m4s).
• Therapist Dewey Freeman's saying emphasizes the importance of going through a hard time and coming out the other side as the foundation of attachment in a relationship (8m4s).
• People often underestimate how much they will change over time, and being able to navigate these changes together can impact the quality and longevity of a relationship (8m49s).
• Long-term relationships can be challenging as people evolve emotionally, and individuals may struggle to understand and connect with their changing partners (8m56s).
• Research suggests that men tend to soften psychologically as they age, becoming less harsh, aggressive, and angry, while women often become harder emotionally, more aggressive, and harsh (9m22s).
• Hormonal changes, such as decreased testosterone in men and increased testosterone in postmenopausal women, contribute to these emotional shifts (9m44s).
• Life events like job loss, career changes, having children, and menopause can induce different emotional states, and it's essential for individuals and their partners to be able to navigate these emotional waves together (10m9s).
• Being transparent about one's emotions is crucial in relationships, as seen in the example of the speaker's experience with their wife after the loss of their mother, where open communication helped them cope with grief and sadness (10m37s).
• Men often struggle with expressing emotions due to the societal expectation that their intrinsic value comes from their ability to perform, leading them to view emotions as a hindrance to performance (11m59s).
• Emotions are essential as they provide data and information about the body, similar to how thoughts are the language of the thinking process, and acknowledging and understanding emotions is vital for personal growth and relationships (12m34s).
• Acquiring emotional data is essential for making informed decisions in life, just like a project manager needs data to make informed decisions, and ignoring emotions is like ignoring part of the balance sheet of one's life (12m52s).
• Emotions play a crucial role in achieving fulfillment, a deeper sense of meaning and purpose, and having a fulfilling relationship, as they provide essential data and information that can lead to better choices (13m50s).
• Ignoring emotions can lead to dysfunctional relationships and poor decision-making, as emotions are often unconscious responses or reactions to internal or external events (14m48s).
• Becoming more aware and conscious of one's emotions is necessary to regulate and process them, and until this happens, one may be walking through life largely blind to a big part of the information that brings a deeper sense of aliveness, fulfillment, and joy (15m0s).
• The quote from Carl Jung, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate," highlights the importance of acknowledging and understanding one's emotions (14m41s).

How Do I Know If I Have Emotional Issues? (15m28s)

• Admitting to having a problem with emotions is a good starting point for addressing emotional issues, and recognizing the problem is the first step in making progress (16m53s).
• High levels of reactivity, such as reacting defensively or with hostility to external stimuli, is a good indicator of emotional issues (17m6s).
• Struggling to accomplish tasks and move forward with goals due to emotional blockages is another sign of emotional issues, as emotions can become a drag on achieving goals (17m36s).
• Being cut off from emotions can lead to depression, which can manifest as the body's way of saying it needs attention, and can prevent individuals from doing things they want to do (17m54s).
• Being highly over-indexed on the rational mind and lacking a sense of emotional feeling can be a sign of disconnection from emotions, making it difficult to understand and express feelings (18m16s).
• A disconnection from physical sensations in the body, such as not being able to feel emotions in specific areas of the body, can be a sign of emotional issues (18m48s).
• Emotional constipation, or the inability to express, experience, or acknowledge emotions, is another sign of being cut off from emotions, often due to conditioning or perceived threats (19m14s).

Why Men Try to Think Their Way Through Emotions (19m37s)

• The masculine urge to try and reverse engineer emotions mentally is a common phenomenon, where men attempt to think their way out of emotional experiences (19m41s).
• This approach is rooted in a culture that honors the rational mind, as described by Einstein, who said the rational mind is a faithful servant and the intuitive mind is a sacred gift (20m0s).
• The concept of the "Rider and the Elephant" in psychology illustrates this, where the rider represents the rational mind and the elephant represents the intuitive mind, which includes emotions and physical sensations (20m10s).
• In Western culture, there is an overemphasis on the rational mind, leading to a lack of understanding and connection with the emotional body (20m17s).
• Research by Bessel van der Kolk, author of "The Body Keeps the Score," suggests that there is more information being sent from the body to the brain than from the brain to the body (20m36s).
• Men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions due to societal expectations and historical events, such as World War II, where phrases like "man up" and "suck it up" originated (21m44s).
• This suppression of emotions can lead to disassociation from the emotional body, making it challenging for men to feel and express their emotions (22m15s).
• On an individual level, men may feel threatened by opening up and being emotional, fearing it may impact their relationships or performance (22m57s).
• As a result, men often live in their thoughts, constantly perceiving reality without fully experiencing it, and may need to be taught how to feel and connect with their emotions (23m17s).
• Emotions play a crucial role in experiencing reality, and men need to learn to balance their perception of reality with their direct emotional experience (23m28s).

How to Start Feeling Your Feelings (24m17s)

• To develop emotional mastery, one must start by developing body-oriented awareness, also known as direct felt experience (DFE), which involves recognizing the specific physical or somatic responses that accompany each emotion (24m19s).
• Every emotional charge has a unique somatic or physiological response in the body, such as heat in the chest or agitated hands when feeling angry, and recognizing these responses is crucial for emotional awareness (24m41s).
• Developing emotional awareness begins with acknowledging and identifying one's emotions, such as saying "I feel angry right now" or "I feel sad right now," and recognizing the physical sensations associated with those emotions (25m19s).
• Once awareness is developed, one must learn what to do with each emotion, and using the breath as a modulation dial for the nervous system can help manage emotions, particularly anger (26m31s).
• Anger is a common emotion that men struggle with, and it's often the emotion that's rejected the hardest due to societal expectations, but acknowledging and accepting anger is essential for emotional mastery (26m16s).
• To manage anger, one can use the breath to bring awareness into the body and locate where the emotion is experienced physically, such as in the chest or arms (27m2s).
• Describing the physical experience of emotions in detail, such as what it's like to feel anger or sadness, can help increase emotional awareness and mastery (27m53s).
• Emotions such as sadness, grief, joy, frustration, and embarrassment can be intense and overwhelming, and it's essential to acknowledge and understand what happens in the body when experiencing these emotions, such as changes in breathing, constriction in the throat, or a feeling of collapsing in the chest (28m2s).
• Developing emotional awareness is crucial in understanding what emotions are trying to convey, as every emotion has important data and information that it's trying to relay, such as a boundary being crossed in a relationship (28m37s).
• Anger is necessary for setting boundaries, and being disconnected from anger can lead to poor boundaries and being walked over by others (28m50s).
• Identifying and acknowledging emotions, such as anger, can help create space to understand what the emotion is trying to communicate, rather than acting impulsively from the emotion itself (29m16s).
• A four-step process for dealing with emotions involves building awareness, understanding what the emotion is trying to convey, creating space from the emotion, and communicating or expressing needs without being controlled by the emotion (30m2s).
• Building tolerance for emotions is essential, as many men have a low threshold for emotions like grief, sadness, or anger, leading to shutting down or exploding externally (30m14s).
• Sitting with emotions, rather than wallowing in them or trying to get away from them, can help build resilience and understanding of what it's like to experience emotions in the body (30m38s).
• Labeling the charge and intensity of emotions, such as anger, can help process and manage emotions more effectively, with the goal of building awareness and tolerance (31m35s).
• When experiencing strong emotions, such as anger, it's essential to acknowledge the charge and intensity of the emotion in the body, and if it's above a seven, it's necessary to pause and take a step back to avoid impaired cognitive functions and improper responses (31m45s).
• A helpful exercise for managing anger is the "fire meditation," where one sits with the anger, breathes, and notices the physical sensations in the body, allowing the body to become more tolerant of the emotion over time (32m2s).
• To build tolerance for emotions, one must condition their body to feel safe while experiencing them, which can be challenging for individuals who grew up in environments where emotions like anger were not safe to express (32m14s).
• The process of building emotional tolerance involves four steps: developing awareness of the emotional charge in the body, labeling the experience and intensity of the emotion, describing the emotion in detail, and identifying what the emotion wants to express (32m54s).
• Labeling the experience and intensity of the emotion involves acknowledging the physical sensations and assigning a number to the intensity, such as "I feel the charge of anger in my chest, and it's a five" (33m20s).
• Describing the emotion in detail involves writing down as much as possible about the experience, using prompts like "If my anger had a voice, what would it say?" to give the emotion expression (33m32s).
• It's essential to process and reflect on the emotions, rather than ignoring them or expressing them in a way that might harm others, and to parse through the relevant information and data that the emotions bring up (34m6s).
• Many people, especially men, get stuck in the permission stage of feeling their emotions, struggling to give themselves permission to feel and acknowledge their emotions due to societal expectations and fear of the unknown (34m54s).
• If a person does not feel their feelings, others around them cannot interact with them relationally, and they may appear angry or unresponsive (35m24s).
• The permission stage is a challenging place for men, where they often get angry, and the second stage is the tolerance stage, which can be difficult due to the intensity of emotions men may be carrying (35m42s).
• Many men struggle with managing their emotions, which can manifest as anxiety, anger, or grief, and they may turn to substances or distractions to cope (36m0s).
• Developing tolerance for emotions is a significant challenge for men, as they may feel like they lack competence and hate feeling that way (37m9s).
• Men are often conditioned to deal with their emotions by numbing them with substances or distractions, rather than facing and tolerating them (36m52s).
• Building tolerance requires starting from a place of lacking competence and being willing to be frustrated with the process, as it can be challenging to sit with intense emotions (37m31s).
• Men may need to start with small, manageable steps, such as sitting with their anger for a short period, to develop tolerance and increase their threshold for managing emotions (37m56s).
• For many men, intense emotions have dominated their lives, and they may perceive these emotions as the enemy, leading to an inner civil war (38m30s).
• Sitting with and tolerating emotions can be a difficult but necessary step in managing them and developing emotional competence (38m48s).
• A person may struggle with intense emotions, such as anger, which can negatively impact their life, including their marriage and career, and may feel the need to suppress or escape from these feelings (39m8s).
• By sitting with and acknowledging these emotions, one can start to build a relationship of acceptance, understanding, and tolerance, which can be a challenging but crucial step in personal growth (39m17s).
• Understanding the origin of these intense emotions can be an important part of this process, helping individuals to recognize patterns and triggers (39m28s).
• For some people, such as those with high energy levels, sitting with and exploring their emotions can be particularly difficult, as it requires slowing down and confronting inner critics and self-doubt (39m41s).
• This process of reconciliation with one's emotions often occurs in intimate relationships or close friendships, where the intensity of emotions can be most pronounced and challenging to navigate (40m3s).
• The inability to reconcile with intense emotions can create distance from loved ones and hinder the achievement of personal goals (40m28s).
• Men, in particular, may struggle with this process due to societal expectations and pressure to suppress emotions, leading to feelings of being stuck and unable to move forward (40m31s).

How Men Can Deal With Anger & Anxiety (40m36s)

• Emotions like sadness, anxiety, shame, depression, anger, and panic can be categorized into two types: implosive and explosive, with the former being more inwardly focused and the latter being more outwardly expressed (40m36s).
• Grief is a natural way that love honors what it misses, and it's essential to acknowledge and express it, rather than hiding it, as hiding can compound grief and depression (41m19s).
• Many men have been taught that grieving or being sad is a sign of weakness, but this mindset can exacerbate the problem and make it harder to deal with emotions (41m35s).
• To manage explosive emotions, it's necessary to slow down, breathe, sit with them, and trust oneself when intense emotions arise, and sometimes labeling the emotions can help (42m5s).
• For heavier emotions like grief, it's essential to acknowledge the physical and emotional responses and take a pause to process them, rather than trying to push through or suppress them (42m47s).
• Grief can manifest in various ways, not just in response to the loss of a person, but also in response to transitions, such as career changes or the end of a relationship (43m22s).
• Grief is often tied to transition, and any significant change in life can trigger a grieving process (43m41s).
• Examples of grief can include the loss of a team or a familiar work environment, or even the achievement of a long-sought goal, which can bring a sense of loss or disorientation (43m35s).
• Acknowledging and expressing grief, rather than suppressing it, is essential for processing and moving forward (43m17s).
• A unique type of grief can be experienced when achieving a long-desired goal, as the effort and emotions invested in the process are finally released, and this type of grief requires expression and witness (44m27s).
• Grief is not just about loss, but also about achievement, and it can be triggered by significant events such as winning an award or a championship (44m44s).
• Grief needs to be expressed and witnessed in order to be processed, and if it is not, it can lead to being stuck in a state of unresolved emotions (45m20s).
• In many cultures, there is a social stigma around grieving, and people often hide their grief instead of expressing it, which can prolong the healing process (45m55s).
• Grief can be expressed relationally with someone else, such as a therapist, psychologist, coach, or counselor, but ideally with people who love and know the individual (46m31s).
• Grief is a natural way to honor what love misses, and it is an important part of human nature (46m50s).
• Deferring grief can lead to a slow depression, and it is essential to express and witness grief in order to move forward (47m0s).
• Depression requires not only expression and being witnessed but also a kind of "pressing out" that involves moving outside of the confines of the depression (47m35s).
• Sometimes, people need help from others to overcome depression, and having a support system that can offer assistance and guidance is crucial (48m6s).
• Depression can be described as feeling stuck and needing help to get out of a difficult emotional state, similar to being caught in quicksand, and it's essential to ask for help without relying on others to take responsibility for one's emotions (48m13s).
• Asking for help with depression requires avoiding a victim mindset, where one feels worthless and unable to take action, and instead, seeking support without expecting others to fix the problem (48m31s).
• Unlike physical exercise, where going to the gym and working out can help improve mood, depression often requires more specific approaches, such as breath work, which can be very helpful in accessing and processing emotions (49m4s).
• Breath work, such as intense Wim Hof or holotropic breathing, can shut down the default mode network, allowing access to deeper emotions and helping to release pent-up feelings (49m34s).
• Engaging in breath work can lead to unexpected emotional releases, as the body tries to express and process unresolved emotions, which may be non-verbal or from past experiences (50m12s).
• Emotions can be seen as the language of the body, trying to express and communicate something, and breath work can help tap into this emotional language (50m23s).
• Breath work can be a helpful way to move through emotions like grief, sadness, and depression, allowing individuals to process and release unresolved feelings (50m50s).

Should Men Mask Their Emotions at All? (51m7s)

• Men often have a desire to be consistent and reliable, and there is an expectation of mastery of their emotional state, but this can lead to suppressing emotions, which can ultimately sabotage their well-being and relationships (51m8s).
• The story of Tiger Woods is used as an example of how one must be willing to break down existing habits and become "worse" before they can rebuild and reach the next level, which can be a difficult concept for men to accept (51m39s).
• Men often fear that acknowledging and working through their emotions will make them appear weak or less powerful, but true power lies in feeling and acknowledging emotions while still being able to show up and take action (54m1s).
• Suppressing emotions is not a sign of strength, but rather a sign of weakness, and true strength lies in acknowledging and working through one's weaknesses and emotions (54m52s).
• The goal is to be able to experience the fullness of emotions and still be able to show up and take action, which requires courage and a willingness to be vulnerable (55m17s).
• Men, especially those in high-pressure careers such as finance, often struggle with the idea of taking a step back and working through their emotions, as they fear it will impact their performance and reputation (53m4s).
• However, not addressing and working through emotions can ultimately lead to sabotage and negative consequences in one's personal and professional life (53m33s).
• The process of working through emotions and becoming more emotionally intelligent is a journey, and it's okay to start at the "white belt" level and work one's way up (54m32s).
• Embracing one's emotions is crucial for living a more fulfilling life, and it can also lead to increased profits and better performance, but the primary goal is to achieve an enjoyable emotional state (55m23s).
• There is an intersection between feeling emotions and finding a purpose, and it is unlikely to find a deep sense of purpose without being in touch with one's emotions (56m1s).
• Men often struggle with emotions due to fear of the unknown and a desire to maintain power and control (56m32s).
• The concept of powerlessness is essential in emotional development, and men must experience it to mature and find true fulfillment (56m54s).
• Richard Rohr, a Franciscan monk, said that until a man experiences powerlessness, he will always abuse power (56m54s).
• Traditional initiation processes for men involved putting them in situations where they felt powerless, which helped them develop emotional maturity (57m4s).
• Developing tolerance for emotions requires men to confront and experience their feelings, even if it feels overwhelming (57m41s).
• Ignoring emotions will not lead to a deeper sense of purpose and meaning; instead, men must actively choose to move into a state of powerlessness and confront their emotions (58m12s).
• This process involves venturing into the unknown, being in powerless positions, and learning about oneself, as seen in great myths like The Odyssey and The Iliad (58m32s).
• Men must put themselves in situations where they feel overwhelmed by their emotions to develop maturity and mastery in life (58m50s).
• Many men struggle with holding back their emotions, such as grief or anxiety, and fear that letting go will lead to collapse, but this is a necessary step in emotional development (59m10s).
• Emotionally adept individuals, such as Marcus Aurelius, are able to articulate life in a way that draws others towards it, having built a deep relationship with their emotions and experiences through maturity and processing (59m24s).
• Entering into one's emotions can lead to a loss of power, but also to learning and discovering something about oneself that is missing, such as in marriage, relationships, sex life, finances, or sense of purpose (1h0m17s).
• Jordan Peterson's advice to "tell the truth" can be applied to being honest about one's feelings, which can be brutal but lead to an adventure of self-discovery and a deep sense of purpose, meaning, love, and connection (1h1m4s).
• The difference between explaining and expressing is crucial, as explaining focuses on the rational mind and how things work, while expressing is about one's direct felt experience and emotions (1h0m57s).
• Men often live in a state of explaining, which can create challenges in relationships, as women are seeking expression of desires, experiences, and emotions, not just explanations (1h1m31s).
• Expressing oneself is about sharing one's subjective experience, emotions, and feelings, rather than just explaining how things work or what they look like (1h2m31s).
• Tuning into one's emotions and expressing them can provide a more important data set than just focusing on the rational mind and how things unfold (1h3m2s).
• The world is experienced through one's own nervous system, and not being able to tap into feelings creates a disconnect from reality, making it difficult to experience emotions such as love, joy, frustration, and anger (1h3m17s).
• Operating solely from a rational mind can be a safe place for many men, but it can also lead to a disconnect from life, causing feelings of misery, unfulfillment, and a lack of passion (1h3m56s).
• Experiencing life can be challenging, and not allowing oneself to feel emotions can prevent true fulfillment and passion (1h4m20s).
• When people let themselves experience and feel emotions, they become more relatable and allow others to connect with them more deeply (1h5m10s).
• Allowing oneself to be vulnerable and open with emotions can create a sense of closeness and understanding with others, as seen in an example of a dinner conversation where someone was grappling with difficult emotions and was able to connect with others on a deeper level (1h4m38s).

How to Stop Explaining Away Emotions (1h5m41s)

• To stop intellectualizing and start feeling emotions, ask yourself if you're explaining or expressing your feelings, and make an effort to move towards expression (1h6m13s).
• Create 30 to 60 minutes of unstructured cognitive time each day, such as stream-of-consciousness journaling or going for a walk without music or an audiobook, to allow yourself to process your emotions (1h7m24s).
• Use this unstructured time to write down your thoughts and feelings, or engage in an activity that allows you to focus on your emotions without distractions (1h8m47s).
• Involve people in your life, such as a partner or friends, to help you recognize when you're explaining instead of expressing your emotions, and encourage them to point out when you're falling into this pattern (1h8m51s).
• Recognize that explaining has its place in certain situations, such as at work or in board meetings, but make an effort to balance explanation with expression in your personal life (1h9m12s).
• Noticing the difference between explaining and expressing can help you develop emotional connection and feel more in tune with your body and emotions (1h6m49s).
• When expressing emotions, people often report feeling a sense of communication with their body, and may experience physical sensations such as joy or nervousness (1h6m56s).
• Many people, especially men, have very little unstructured cognitive time and may try to fill this void with distractions like social media, which can prevent them from processing their emotions (1h8m6s).
• Having unstructured time can help you process emotional information and data that may be rising to the surface, rather than trying to drown it out with distractions (1h8m18s).
• When discussing emotions, it's essential to move beyond just explaining what happened and instead focus on how the experience made you feel, and having people in your corner who can help you express and communicate emotions can be very helpful (1h9m25s).
• Accountability, especially for men trying to break free from traditional masculine norms, can be very beneficial, and working with others, such as former Navy Seals and Military personnel, has shown this to be effective (1h9m46s).
• While some emotional work can be done alone, having a community or group of men who are doing similar work can provide rapid support and help men break free from their emotional rigidity (1h10m11s).
• Being part of a community of men with a shared mission can provide a supportive environment where men can express themselves and support one another, much like online communities such as the trading forums on Reddit (1h10m21s).
• Men often try to work on themselves alone, but this approach can be limiting, and interacting with others is necessary for personal growth and working through emotional volatility (1h11m15s).
• Joining a men's group can help men work through their emotions and confront parts of themselves that they may normally keep hidden, and this process can be facilitated by the support and interaction with other men (1h11m45s).
• The goal of men's groups is not just to provide a space for men to talk, but to help them work through their emotions and develop a deeper understanding of themselves and others (1h12m14s).

Having Emotions Doesn’t Make You Less of a Man (1h12m34s)

• Having emotions and feeling them does not make someone less of a man; rather, being able to feel and articulate emotions properly makes one more of a man, which is considered the gold standard (1h12m45s).
• The Stoics, who were known for being logical, also expressed themselves emotionally through poetry, playwriting, and music, demonstrating that it's possible to be both logical and emotional (1h13m6s).
• Many men struggle with articulating their feelings and may feel broken or on the verge of taking their own lives due to suppressed emotions, highlighting the importance of supporting men in expressing their emotions (1h13m31s).
• It's not necessary to be in a bad place to start feeling emotions; anyone can benefit from doing so, and it can lead to a better life (1h13m56s).
• Many men cut themselves off from their emotions and find themselves at the brink of crisis, making it heartbreaking to see so many men in pain (1h14m22s).
• Sharing emotions and not feeling alone is crucial, and there is a growing movement of men embracing their emotions and becoming better versions of themselves (1h14m38s).
• Examples of men embracing their emotions include the "Seab Bum" meme and Al Landa Boton's content, showing that it's possible to be a stronger, better man by working with emotions (1h15m0s).
• Working with emotions rather than against them can lead to a better life, with a sense of resonance and connection to one's actions and feelings (1h15m42s).
• Trying to explain away emotions or deny them can lead to feelings of disconnection and not being truly present in conversations (1h15m59s).
• The full breadth of human experience is available for exploration, and it's essential to examine what's on the other side of emotional suppression, which may be a massive error in the current system (1h16m33s).
• The current state of how men feel in the world is not optimal, and it's crucial to consider various factors, including socioeconomic status, meaning in work, sperm counts, testosterone levels, dating, online porn, video games, and social media, when evaluating the psychological and emotional landscape of men (1h17m0s).
• Everything should be on the table for discussion, including the emotional and psychological aspects of men's lives, to address the issues they face (1h17m21s).
• Being part of a group that values emotional expression and vulnerability is essential, and it's not about competing in traditional masculine vectors, but rather about being open and honest about one's emotions (1h17m42s).
• The idea of shaming men for showing emotions is petty and juvenile, and it's equally important to hold women accountable for their actions in relationships, just as men are (1h18m40s).
• Women who shame or abandon their partners for showing emotions should be held to the same standards as men who do the same, and it's essential to find out early on if a partner can handle emotional expression (1h19m13s).
• A person's ability to handle emotions when they don't have a strong investment or attachment is a good indicator of their emotional maturity and potential for a successful relationship (1h19m26s).
• Running away from emotional expression is a sign of emotional immaturity, and it's essential to invest time in someone who can handle and reciprocate emotional vulnerability (1h19m40s).
• Some women may feel uncomfortable when treated well by a man, which can be a sign of deeper emotional issues and a need for reevaluation of their relationships and emotional intelligence (1h19m59s).
• A person's job is to find someone who aligns with their desires, whether it's a dysfunctional relationship or a healthy partnership where they can grow and heal together (1h20m22s).
• It's essential to determine if someone is genuinely interested in seeing their partner and working through difficult emotions together, rather than seeking mistreatment or superficial connections (1h21m6s).
• People tend to attract what they deserve, and it's crucial to find out early on if someone is on the same emotional page as you (1h21m18s).
• Emotional tests can help determine if someone is willing to work through challenging times and come out stronger on the other side (1h21m41s).
• For those unsure about where to begin with emotions, a good starting point is acknowledging what you're avoiding emotionally and being honest about your feelings with someone you trust (1h22m1s).
• Confession is the first step in any therapeutic process, and admitting your emotions can put you on a path of expression and deeper emotional understanding (1h22m27s).
• Practicing honesty and vulnerability can lead to more transparent and meaningful friendships and relationships (1h23m16s).
• The greatest human demand is to be fully known, and setting up relationships where you can be known in a healthy way is essential (1h23m28s).
• Seeking validation or wallowing in misery is not the key to true connection, but rather being authentically and genuinely known by someone who cares about you (1h23m56s).
• The alternative to finding intimacy is limited, as even having a twin brother or sister does not provide the same level of attachment and sharing as a romantic relationship (1h24m11s).
• A choice exists between living a safe and numb existence or taking a risk to experience life fully and authentically (1h24m29s).

Where to Find Connor (1h24m36s)

• To access various resources and content, visit the website mantalks.com, where you can find a book and a men's community, among other things (1h24m42s).
• The same content and resources can also be found on YouTube and Instagram under the username "man talks" (1h24m48s).
• The YouTube algorithm is capable of selecting specific episodes tailored to individual viewers, suggesting that it may know things about the viewer that they don't know about themselves (1h24m58s).