148. Conviction and Compassion: How to Have Hard Conversations | Think Fast, Talk Smart:...
25 Jun 2024 (3 months ago)
Introduction
- Stanford Executive Education programs offer insights from Stanford GSB professors and bring together top leaders from around the globe.
- Having crucial, critical, and constructive conversations can be challenging.
Ingredients for Entrepreneurial Success
- Entrepreneurs are those who seek opportunities regardless of their current resources.
- Entrepreneurs should get comfortable with the domain they are in.
- "When great management meets a bad business, the business always wins."
Myths About Entrepreneurship
- The common perception that entrepreneurs are a certain personality type (bombastic, attracted to risk, egotistical) is a myth.
- The best entrepreneurs are thoughtful and try to minimize risk.
- The risk that entrepreneurs assume is execution-sensitive rather than inherent.
Can Entrepreneurs Be Made?
- Entrepreneurship is not limited to a certain personality type.
- Entrepreneurs can be made through education and training.
- Entrepreneurship is a skill that can be learned and developed.
Challenges in Communication
- One challenge is when new information arises in a tough conversation, individuals may hesitate to change their position due to concerns about their image or the organization's needs.
- Another challenge is being brief, especially when uncertain or nervous, leading to elliptical speech and repetition.
- Lastly, it's difficult for individuals not to make difficult conversations all about themselves rather than focusing on the other person and the issue at hand.
Imposter Syndrome
- Imposter syndrome is a common challenge where individuals doubt their abilities and feel like they don't deserve their success.
- To avoid falling into this trap, individuals should:
- Be open to new information and willing to change their position when necessary.
- Practice brevity and convey conviction in their communication.
- Focus on the other person and their needs rather than making the conversation about themselves.
Managing Difficult Conversations
- Novelty can contribute to feeling unqualified, but reminding oneself of past successes and traits can help overcome this.
- Students may struggle to translate recommendations into effective action, especially when initiating challenging conversations.
- Setting the tone and first few things to say is crucial in starting challenging conversations.
- Use "we" to create a non-adversarial environment and focus on finding a mutually beneficial solution.
Role-Playing Scenario
- When having difficult conversations, approach them as opportunities for problem-solving and collaboration, rather than making declarations.
- Clearly state your objectives, such as addressing cultural issues and fostering a supportive environment.
- Focus on the relationship and the impact of actions on the organization's culture, encouraging open communication and constructive feedback.
- Acknowledge concerns and disagreements, emphasizing the importance of supporting the organization's decisions and culture.
- Be mindful of your role as a leader and the culture you are shaping, ensuring that you don't create adversarial relationships.
- Be open to feedback and willing to learn how to communicate your views effectively.
- If you disagree with a decision, bring your concerns to the decision-maker privately after the decision is made.
The Value of Listening
- Listening is important in crucial conversations as it shows respect and a willingness to understand the other person's perspective.
- Pauses during conversations demonstrate respect and allow the other person to speak.
- Openness and valuing what the other person has to say are essential in effective listening.
Career Advice
- When choosing a career, it's helpful to think about where you want to be in 10 years and the context in which you want to work.
- Consider whether you want to be in charge, a partner, or an advisor, and whether you want to run a business or be part of one.
- Once you have a general idea of your career goals, you can start to identify logical paths to get there and the skills and experiences you need to acquire.
The Final Three Questions
- There is no safe route in careers, risks are involved in every choice.
- People tend to play to their strengths and stay in their comfort zones, but it's important to be more strategic and take risks.
- Be careful with the words you choose, always try to be better and more sensitive.
- Students can teach valuable lessons through their phrasing and sensitivity.
- Warren Buffett is a great communicator who can be whimsical, light, and direct.
- He is approachable and credible, and he constantly redefines the edge of his competence.
- Directness with respect: Directness can be combined with respect to have effective conversations.
- Strength with warmth: Decisiveness (strength) can be conveyed with warmth and a willingness to listen to others.
- Don't mistake decisiveness for arrogance: Decisiveness should not be confused with arrogance or a lack of respect for others' opinions.
Conclusion
- Vague communication, especially in medical and business settings, is not compassionate.
- Difficult conversations require practice and preparation, just like a performance art.
- Practicing the words you will say beforehand is essential for effective communication.
- Stanford Executive Education offers on-campus programs to help leaders refine their approach and stay ahead in the ever-changing landscape.
- Interested individuals can apply at grow.stanford.edu/slcu.