The Invisible Psychology Of Happiness & Meaning - Lionel Page

The Issue With How We View Happiness (0s)

• The concept of happiness is often studied and thought about in a way that is incomplete, with different books and theories offering varying explanations for what constitutes happiness, such as the importance of social connections, controlling desires, or reaching for high goals (28s).
• This fragmented understanding of happiness can be likened to the story of the blind men and the elephant, where each person touches a different part of the elephant and comes away with a unique, but incomplete, understanding of what an elephant is (44s).
• An evolutionary perspective on happiness can provide a more comprehensive understanding of the concept, recognizing that happiness is a system of valuation designed by evolution to help individuals make decisions (2m10s).
• This system must balance competing demands and trade-offs, such as the need for social connections versus the need to set boundaries and say no to others (3m2s).
• A well-functioning system of happiness must be able to navigate these trade-offs and find a balance between competing goals and desires (3m20s).
• The importance of social connections is one aspect of happiness, but it must be balanced with the need to maintain individual boundaries and avoid being taken advantage of (2m42s).
• Similarly, having high goals and aspirations can be important for happiness, but having very low goals can also be problematic (3m27s).
• An evolutionary perspective on happiness can help to explain why different theories and books on happiness offer seemingly conflicting advice, and how these different approaches can be integrated into a more comprehensive understanding of happiness (2m31s).
• A system of happiness designed to make individuals successful must push and nudge them to try their best, as being content with current achievements can hinder future success (3m34s).
• When a person reaches a milestone they thought would bring happiness, they often start looking forward to the next challenge, as the initial achievement is no longer enough (4m3s).
• The pursuit of happiness can lead to a never-ending cycle of striving for more, as achieving one goal often leads to the desire for the next, whether it's financial, such as becoming a millionaire, or other milestones (4m17s).
• Some self-help books advise individuals not to care about what they don't have, while others suggest setting very high goals, but a balanced approach is necessary to find the right level of motivation (4m31s).
• Setting extremely high goals, such as comparing oneself to someone like Elon Musk, can be discouraging and unhelpful, as it may lead to feelings of disappointment and hopelessness (4m51s).
• On the other hand, being too content with one's current situation can lead to complacency and a lack of motivation to improve or strive for more (5m13s).
• A successful system of happiness must find a balance between pushing individuals to do their best and not setting goals that are too high or too low (5m27s).

We Always Compare Ourselves to Others (5m35s)

• The concept of happiness is often misunderstood as being objective, but in reality, people tend to compare themselves to others, which affects their perception of happiness (5m51s).
• Comparisons to others serve as a way to learn and extract information, helping individuals to reassess their own lives and make changes if necessary (6m7s).
• People typically compare themselves to those who are similar to them, such as friends or peers from their past, rather than those who are significantly more or less successful (6m14s).
• Comparing oneself to people who are very different can be unhelpful, as it may lead to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction (6m52s).
• Individuals tend to care more about people who are just like them, but a step ahead, rather than those who are far more successful (7m20s).
• The feelings of well-being and happiness are influenced more by comparisons to others in one's social circle than by absolute achievements (7m41s).
• The game of relative comparison and the impact of social circles on happiness is a complex and fascinating topic (7m50s).
• Evolution has programmed humans to respond to certain stimuli, but it did not provide a "rule book" explaining why humans behave in certain ways, leading to a lack of intuition about what truly makes people happy (8m23s).
• As a result, understanding what makes people happy and why they have certain feelings is not a trivial matter, and requires introspection and self-awareness (8m49s).
• People who are curious and have unanswered questions can experience a sense of uncertainty, similar to being in a state of purgatory, where they are driven to find answers but lack a definitive sense of direction (9m16s).
• Individuals from disadvantaged social backgrounds may be more likely to be happy due to having a lower reference point to judge their life from, which can lead to a more positive outlook (9m42s).
• This concept is referred to as the "Happiness Advantage of being from a low social background and rising up," where individuals can compare their current situation to their original social background and feel a sense of accomplishment (10m22s).
• On the other hand, people born into highly successful social backgrounds may experience high pressure and feel that they need to achieve a very high educational standard, which can lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness (10m55s).
• Those from privileged backgrounds may also feel the need to take risks and pursue different career paths to escape the comparison to their parents' achievements (11m26s).
• This pressure to live up to expectations can lead to desperate outcomes in educational attainment, as individuals may feel that anything short of attending a top university constitutes failure (12m41s).
• The drive to meet these high expectations can result in individuals working themselves too hard and ultimately being less happy (12m53s).
• Individuals from lower socio-economic backgrounds may experience greater psychological benefits from achieving a moderate level of success, such as attending a community college and securing a job, due to their lower reference point (13m2s).
• In contrast, individuals from higher socio-economic backgrounds may experience greater pressure to achieve more prestigious goals, such as attending a top university, and may be more willing to take risks to achieve these goals (14m4s).
• This pressure can also lead to increased engagement in risky behaviors, such as drug taking and reckless driving, among individuals from higher socio-economic backgrounds (15m5s).
• Statistics show that kids from higher social backgrounds with average grades are more likely to take the risk of continuing their education at a top university, whereas kids from lower social backgrounds may opt for more practical training to secure a job (14m29s).
• The drive to achieve more is often greater for individuals from higher socio-economic backgrounds, as they have more to gain from achieving prestigious goals (14m21s).
• The difference in psychological benefits between achieving a moderate level of success and achieving a more prestigious goal is often smaller for individuals from lower socio-economic backgrounds, as their reference point is lower (13m52s).
• The pressure to achieve prestigious goals can be a significant factor in the behavior of individuals from higher socio-economic backgrounds, leading to increased risk-taking and potentially negative behaviors (15m33s).

Why We Think We Are Worse Off Than Our Forebears (15m36s)

• Intergenerational competition theory suggests that people compare their current situation to where their parents were at the same age, which can lead to feelings of uncertainty and dissatisfaction, even if the current generation is objectively better off than previous ones (15m37s).
• This comparison is exacerbated by social media, where people present a curated version of their lives, making it seem like everyone else is doing better, and creating unrealistic expectations and social anxiety (16m12s).
• The expansion of social circles through social media means that people are no longer comparing themselves to those in their immediate surroundings, but to a global audience, which can be misleading and create unrealistic comparisons (16m25s).
• People tend to present a perfect image of themselves on social media, often using filters and selecting the best photos, which can create unrealistic expectations and make others feel like they are not doing well in comparison (18m0s).
• It's essential to learn to discount these curated images and remember that people's lives are not always as perfect as they seem on social media, and that everyone has their own struggles and troubles (18m50s).
• The constant exposure to these perfect images can make people feel like they are not doing well enough, and can create a sense of dissatisfaction and uncertainty about their own lives (18m45s).
• Despite being objectively better off than previous generations, people may still feel like they are not doing well enough, due to the influence of social media and the expansion of social circles (17m29s).
• The poorest countries have the most children, and historically, people have had children despite financial difficulties, which challenges the idea that financial readiness is a necessary condition for having children (17m19s).
• The Friendship Paradox is a phenomenon where, on average, one's friends in a network have more friends than oneself, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and lower self-esteem when comparing oneself to others on social media (19m13s).
• This paradox occurs because individuals tend to select friends or follow people who are more popular or successful, creating an unrepresentative sample of the average person (19m46s).
• As a result, people often feel less popular or successful than their peers, even if they are successful in their own right, due to the skewed comparison (20m14s).
• High-achieving individuals may experience a double-edged sword, where they feel satisfaction from recognition outside their group but social anxiety from within, as they compare themselves to their more successful peers (20m31s).
• This phenomenon can lead to a never-ending pursuit of more prestigious groups or clubs, where individuals feel pressure to constantly perform and achieve more to keep up with their peers (20m53s).
• The concept of the "insecure overachiever" captures the energy of individuals who feel pressure to constantly achieve more, despite their outward success, and may experience impostor syndrome, where they feel like they are not truly deserving of their success (22m15s).
• The story of Glenn Loury, who joined Harvard and felt stressed by the pressure to succeed, illustrates this phenomenon, where even highly successful individuals can feel like they are underachieving compared to their peers (21m33s).
• People often experience anxiety and self-doubt after achieving a high status, such as being promoted to a manager in academia or becoming a professor at a prestigious university, and may feel they don't deserve their position and are only there by accident (22m43s).
• Impostor syndrome is a common phenomenon where individuals feel they are not good enough, despite their accomplishments, and may compare themselves unfavorably to others (22m51s).
• Social comparison can have a significant impact on happiness, as people tend to compare themselves to others in their social circle and feel inferior or superior (23m14s).
• To mitigate the effects of social comparison, it's essential to be aware of one's own tendencies and to appreciate what one has, rather than constantly striving for more (23m32s).
• One strategy to avoid the negative impact of social comparison is to avoid joining higher social circles, as this can lead to a never-ending cycle of comparison and dissatisfaction (23m54s).
• Even high-achievers, such as a trader earning £250,000 a year, can feel dissatisfied and compare themselves unfavorably to others, such as their manager who earns £2-5 million a year (24m31s).
• Being aware of the potential pitfalls of social comparison can help individuals appreciate their current situation and avoid feelings of dissatisfaction and unhappiness (25m10s).
• It's crucial to recognize that one's reference point will move with them if they join a higher social circle, leading to a never-ending cycle of comparison and dissatisfaction (25m14s).

How Goal-Setting Impacts Happiness (25m23s)

• A common source of pain is the tendency to set ever-higher goals and never being satisfied with what has been achieved, which can lead to overestimating the importance of the next success for happiness (25m37s).
• Evolution can be seen as an impersonal process that has designed humans to be as successful as possible, and this can be compared to a parent trying to motivate a child to be successful (26m25s).
• A parent may not always want to motivate a child by being completely truthful about the rewards for their efforts, as this may not be optimal for the child's development (26m54s).
• If a child is extremely talented, giving them rewards for their efforts may not motivate them to work harder, while withholding rewards from a struggling child may not help them either (27m50s).
• A parent may need to adapt their approach to motivating a child based on the child's abilities and challenges, such as setting higher expectations for a talented child or providing more support for a struggling child (28m18s).
• This approach can be seen in how parents in Australia encourage their children to participate in sports, such as swimming, and adapt their expectations based on the child's abilities (28m37s).
• Humans are designed to work hard towards a goal, thinking that achieving it will bring happiness, but once the goal is reached, the target moves further ahead, and the process repeats, as seen in the example of a parent not telling their child that the reward will be moved further ahead if they are very successful (28m55s).
• This phenomenon is also observed in nature, where humans feel the urge to achieve something if they think they can, as described in a paper titled "If You Can, You Must," and if the goal seems too far away, they lose interest (29m26s).
• When people think they can achieve something, such as running a marathon, they get excited and start thinking about how to achieve it, but once they start working towards it, the goalpost keeps moving forward, and the initial goal is no longer enough (29m55s).
• The hedonic system lies to people initially by telling them that reaching a goal will bring happiness, but as they realize they can achieve more, the goalpost moves ahead, and the initial goal is no longer sufficient (30m21s).
• This design is intended to motivate people to keep striving for more, as if they were to anticipate that achieving the next goal would not bring lasting happiness, they would be less motivated to work towards it (30m49s).
• As a result, people overestimate the importance of their next success for their happiness, assuming that achieving it will bring lasting satisfaction, when in reality, the target will keep moving forward (31m10s).
• If people were to accurately assume that each destination is just a base camp before the next one, they would be less motivated to work towards it, which is why the design of human motivation is intended to keep people striving for more (31m21s).
• This phenomenon is observed in various aspects of life, such as career advancement, where people work hard for a promotion, thinking it will bring lasting happiness, but once they achieve it, they start looking for the next challenge (31m36s).
• The focusing illusion is a term proposed by Daniel Kahneman and his coauthors, which states that people tend to focus on specific things they believe are necessary for happiness, but often realize later that these things were not as important as they thought (32m12s).
• People often set goals for things they believe will bring them happiness, such as a romantic partner, wealth, or a social network, but when they achieve these goals, they may not experience the level of happiness they expected (32m21s).
• Research by Kahneman found that people who moved from cold states like Minnesota to California, where they believed they would be happier, did not experience a significant increase in life satisfaction after six months to a year (33m24s).
• Setting high goals can make it more difficult to achieve happiness, as people tend to judge their well-being in relation to their goals, and having a high goal can make it harder to feel satisfied with one's current situation (34m11s).
• Having low aspirations can be a simple path to happiness, as it is easier to achieve and feel satisfied with one's current situation when goals are lower (34m46s).
• Historical philosophies such as stoicism, Buddhism, and epicurism recommend stopping the desire for things one does not have and being happy with what one already has as a key to happiness (34m50s).
• Focusing on the present and appreciating the good things in one's life, such as health, food, and basic comforts, can help extract oneself from the pressure to constantly strive for more and feel better (35m22s).
• However, the human brain is not designed to feel good all the time, which can make it challenging to maintain a state of happiness (35m44s).
• The human system is designed for success, not happiness, and it identifies what an individual can do and strives to achieve it, constantly pushing to do better (35m48s).
• Humans are not designed to be happy in life, but rather to try as hard as possible, which is a result of evolution favoring the most anxious and insecure overachievers (36m15s).
• Ancestors who were more neurotic and worked harder were more likely to be successful and have descendants, resulting in the current population being the offspring of the most anxious and insecure overachievers (36m46s).
• The human system should be designed to find the best thing an individual can achieve and aim for it, rather than striving for unrealistic goals that can lead to depression (37m11s).
• The system integrates information from past experiences and people with similar traits to identify the best possible achievements and strives to push individuals to reach their full potential (37m29s).
• This process can be subconscious, with individuals picking up cues from others who share similar traits and are successful, and using that information to guide their own goals and aspirations (38m2s).
• The ultimate goal is to find a balance between striving for success and being happy, rather than constantly pushing oneself to be more successful (37m3s).

The Difference Between Happiness & Relief (38m22s)

• The difference between feeling happy when succeeding and feeling relieved lies in the framing that success is the only acceptable outcome, and anything short of that is a failure, turning the achievement of success into the abatement of fear rather than a cause for joy (38m24s).
• Happiness works in the brain by setting expectations and giving feedback on whether one is doing better or worse than expected, and when aiming for a goal, the resolution towards it takes time, providing progressively more information on whether one is doing well enough to achieve it (39m15s).
• As one gets closer to achieving a goal, they consume the benefit of success throughout the process, feeling happier as things get better, and this can be seen in examples such as running a marathon or playing games like American football (39m48s).
• The attainment of a goal can seem like a letdown after the moment of triumph is over, as few people sit back and enjoy it, and most create another goal to strive for, implying that they prefer the process of striving towards a goal rather than the state of having achieved it (41m0s).
• This preference for striving over achieving seems backward, as one would expect to pursue a goal to achieve it, but evidence suggests that people prefer the striving, which is likely because the striving increases the chance of success and provides a sense of progress towards the goal (41m37s).
• The fact that people prefer striving over achieving may be due to the fact that the striving is a necessary step towards success, and the actual achievement of the goal is still an important step, but the process of striving provides a sense of progress and increasing chances of success (41m51s).
• When a person achieves success, such as winning a sports match or a grand slam, they initially feel happy, but this happiness is often short-lived due to the focusing illusion, where the expectation of how they would feel before achieving success is different from the actual feeling after achieving it (42m4s).
• The focusing illusion is illustrated by Andre Agassi's experience of winning Wimbledon, where he felt let down because he was led to believe that winning a grand slam would be life-changing, but he felt exactly the same person after winning (42m40s).
• The gold medalist syndrome is a phenomenon where people who achieve their desired championship or goal often feel less fulfilled than they had hoped or anticipated, and may tell themselves that they need to achieve it again to prove it was not a fluke (44m3s).
• This syndrome is caused by the fact that each new achievement becomes the next minimum acceptable outcome, and the person may feel that they need to continue succeeding to feel fulfilled (45m31s).
• The curse of continuing to succeed is that each new achievement does not feel like a cause for celebration, but rather the next expected outcome, and this can lead to a never-ending cycle of striving for more (45m23s).
• Research has shown that bronze medalists are often happier than silver medalists because bronze is two steps away from winning, whereas silver is very close, making the silver medalist feel like they almost won (44m14s).
• People often assume that highly successful individuals are very happy, but this may not be the case, as those who appear successful may be looking ahead to the next goal or milestone, striving for more (45m45s).
• Social media can perpetuate this misconception, as people may compare their own lives to the curated highlight reels of others, thinking that having more followers or likes would bring happiness (45m58s).
• This comparison can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction, as individuals constantly strive for more, whether it's 10,000, 50,000, or 200,000 followers, without realizing that true happiness may not be directly tied to these external measures (46m7s).

The Ideal Income for Happiness (46m19s)

• Research has shown that when people are asked about their ideal annual income, they often respond with an amount that is approximately three times their current income, regardless of their current earnings level (46m21s).
• This phenomenon is consistent across different income levels, with people always striving for more and never being satisfied with their current situation (46m41s).
• When people are young, they often have a clear idea of what they want to achieve in life, but as they get older and achieve those goals, they often realize that it's not enough to make them happy (47m11s).
• People tend to move their goalposts and constantly look ahead, never being satisfied with what they have (47m40s).
• Even millionaires and billionaires can be miserable due to constant comparison with others who have more, and their next comparison point is often someone who has twice as much as they do (48m7s).
• Will Smith is quoted as saying that when he was poor and miserable, he had hope, but when he was rich and miserable, he was despondent (48m49s).
• Happiness is not about achieving a certain status or wealth, but rather about consistently being a little bit better off than before (49m5s).
• People experience positive feelings when they do better than expected, and this is often due to the element of surprise and uncertainty (49m25s).
• However, if success is scheduled and there is no uncertainty, the positive feelings associated with it may be diminished (49m51s).
• The relationship between happiness and expectation is complex, and if individuals expect increases in their well-being, they will not feel better even if they are doing better, as these increments are factored into their expectations (50m17s).
• The concept of surprise is also linked to happiness, but it is challenging to design surprise, as knowing something will happen makes it not a surprise (50m40s).
• The human brain is designed to measure variations related to expectations rather than absolute happiness, making it a more efficient system for processing information and using brain capacity (51m16s).
• Research in AI, reinforcement learning, and cognitive neuroscience has shown a convergence in understanding how the brain rewards individuals based on differences relative to their expectations (51m37s).
• The brain's reward system is similar to optimal algorithms used in machine learning, where a program learns by comparing outcomes to expectations and adjusting expectations accordingly (51m54s).
• This process is an efficient way for the brain to process information, as having a complete map of happiness from zero to the top would be more difficult (52m34s).
• Instead, the brain uses local, incremental expectations to guide decision-making and behavior (52m44s).

The Role of Habituation in Happiness (52m52s)

• The concept of habituation can be explained through the lens of evolution, where it is more efficient for humans to adapt to their surroundings rather than constantly feeling greater happiness as their circumstances improve (52m52s).
• A comparison can be made to the visual system, which does not recall the objective luminosity in a room, but rather records divergence relative to expectations, allowing the eye to adapt to changes in light (53m11s).
• The eye adapts to a new range of luminosity, allowing it to perceive differences in contrast, and this adaptation is useful because it allows the eye to maximally use its range to perceive differences in the area it is observing (53m54s).
• Similarly, human perception of subjective values adapts to the range of circumstances they are facing, allowing them to be more mindful of important differences in their current situation (54m56s).
• For example, someone who is not very rich may be mindful of not losing $10, but if they were to become a millionaire, $1 would no longer matter, and they would not allocate their perception of value to such small differences (55m2s).
• This adaptation can have implications for how humans experience happiness, particularly in cases of sudden, huge leaps in improvement of life circumstances, such as winning the lottery (55m37s).
• Such windfalls can set a new, unreasonable standard for happiness, making it difficult to have a better day than the day of the windfall, whereas incremental progress towards goals can provide a sense of momentum and satisfaction (55m52s).
• The difference between someone who experiences incremental progress and someone who receives a windfall is significant, with the former being more likely to appreciate the small steps towards their goals (56m11s).
• When individuals achieve great success quickly, they often face the challenge of resetting their goals in life, as humans are designed to have goals and move forward, and not having new challenges can lead to boredom and mistakes (56m24s).
• People who win the lottery or suddenly gain a lot of money often require counseling, as they may not have a professional investment strategy and may spend their money on things that deteriorate in value, such as luxury cars or parties (57m1s).
• The famous footballer George Best once said that he spent most of his money on women and drugs, and squandered the rest, illustrating the potential pitfalls of sudden wealth (57m36s).
• Habituation occurs when people reach a certain level of comfortable life, and they may think that getting more will make them happier, but research shows that happiness doesn't increase much beyond a lower-middle-class lifestyle in the US (58m16s).
• Within countries, happiness may increase due to comparisons with others, but between countries, happiness levels remain relatively flat, with Americans reporting the same level of happiness in 1949 as they do today, despite significant improvements in living standards (58m40s).
• The only exceptions to this trend are very poor countries, where improvements in sanitation, water, and other basic needs can lead to significant increases in life satisfaction (59m17s).
• Moving from being homeless to having a house can improve life satisfaction in a more permanent way, and having basic needs met can lead to a sense of well-being and a "good life" (59m37s).
• Modern life, with its access to food, sanitation, and water, is considered a "good life," and people may be more resilient to the adaptation of certain comforts and luxuries (59m50s).
• Humans have a tendency to habituate, which means they can get used to their current situation, whether it's good or bad, and this can affect their perception of happiness and fulfillment (1h0m6s).
• However, if basic needs such as food, shelter, and safety are not met, the brain can detect this and send signals that something is not right, which can prevent habituation from occurring (1h0m21s).
• Many people in developed nations are chasing better standards of living, but this does not necessarily remove them from potential mortal threats, and their brain may still detect this (1h0m42s).
• According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, people need to fulfill their basic needs before they can focus on higher-level needs such as self-actualization and finding meaning (1h1m7s).
• Having an existential crisis and questioning one's purpose in life is a luxury that most people throughout history have not had, as they were too busy trying to survive (1h1m24s).
• If someone is able to ask themselves deep questions about meaning and fulfillment, it suggests that their basic needs have been met, and they are able to focus on higher-level needs (1h1m52s).
• Habituation can be depressing, but it's also important to recognize that people tend to be fairly cheerful and optimistic, even in the face of challenges (1h2m19s).
• Psychologist Daniel Kahneman described himself as a "cheerful pessimist," meaning that he acknowledges the difficulties of life but still maintains a positive outlook (1h2m29s).
• The concept of habituation can be depressing, but it also has a positive aspect: the "rest point" of happiness, where people tend to return to after experiencing positive or negative events, is not neutral, and people tend to be fairly cheerful on average (1h2m57s).
• Studies have shown that when people are asked to rate their happiness on a scale of 1 to 10, they tend to give answers around 7, indicating that people are generally fairly happy and content with their lives (1h3m17s).
• It is possible to habituate to measure happiness to a fairly fine level, which is a positive aspect of understanding happiness (1h3m47s)

Why Status is Less Subject to Habituation (1h3m55s)

• Status is less subject to habituation than other elements in life, meaning that people can continue to derive happiness from increases in status even after repeated exposure (1h3m56s).
• As people get richer within their country, their happiness increases due to the increase in status relative to others in their community (1h4m9s).
• Status is a key indicator of success in social spaces, and it plays a crucial role in determining how well-regarded an individual is by others in their community (1h4m34s).
• In ancestral times, status was particularly important for males, as it increased their chances of finding mates and having children (1h4m43s).
• Experiencing status increases can activate the brain's reward system, releasing feel-good chemicals, and this is accepted by some neuroscientists (1h5m10s).
• Status is highly flexible and can be increased throughout one's life, making it a unique aspect of human experience (1h5m26s).
• In contrast to basic needs like food, which can be met with minimal variation in quality, status can continue to increase and provide a sense of satisfaction (1h5m34s).
• The difference between high-end and regular food is largely a matter of status, as the nutritional value and safety of the food are often similar (1h6m4s).
• While comfort and basic needs can be met, status can continue to increase, providing a sense of relative success and satisfaction (1h6m36s).
• However, status is a zero-sum game, meaning that one person's increase in status can only come at the expense of someone else's decrease in status (1h6m44s).
• This zero-sum nature of status makes it challenging to increase the overall happiness of a country or community, as it creates a gap between those who have status and those who do not (1h7m20s).

Relationship Between Happiness & Meaning (1h7m28s)

• The relationship between happiness and a meaningful life is a complex issue that people often struggle with, and it's fascinating because it raises big questions about the meaning of life and one's purpose (1h7m30s).
• Evolution has given humans feelings that guide their decisions to navigate the world, but it didn't provide an understanding of why they have these feelings, which contributes to the mystery (1h8m26s).
• The tools to understand why humans have these feelings are not naturally available, as understanding the reasons behind these feelings is not necessary for survival (1h8m47s).
• A comparison can be made with artificial intelligence, where a computer program designed to perform a task doesn't need to know why it's doing the task, it just needs a system of values to make decisions (1h8m56s).
• Similarly, humans have been designed by evolution to be successful, but they haven't been given the awareness of why they experience certain feelings, leading to big questions about the meaning of life (1h10m0s).
• The feelings humans have answer various types of questions, such as whether something is good or bad, whether to continue an interaction with someone, or whether to trust someone (1h10m26s).
• These feelings help humans make decisions and navigate the world, but they don't provide a deeper understanding of why they have these feelings or what their purpose is (1h10m55s).
• Happiness is often determined by feelings in the present moment, such as enjoying good food or feeling sympathy for someone, which guide a person in the right direction (1h11m0s).
• Life satisfaction, on the other hand, is determined by a larger time window, considering whether one's life is going in the right direction, and if they are achieving their long-term goals, such as building a reputation, finding a romantic partner, or raising children (1h11m21s).
• There can be a disconnect between pleasure and achieving long-term goals, as some pleasurable activities may not lead to achieving these goals, and often require costly actions in the short term (1h12m1s).
• Achieving long-term goals can give a sense of meaning and progression towards a successful life, which is essential for overall happiness and life satisfaction (1h12m36s).
• Meaning in life is often associated with doing things that make others happy, contributing to the community, and being perceived as a nice and contributing person (1h12m55s).
• Time is an important contributor to the conflict between a good life and a pleasurable life, with short-term desires often conflicting with long-term goals (1h13m20s).
• This conflict can lead to dissatisfaction in life, resulting from evolutionary mismatches where short-term hedonic signals conflict with long-term ones (1h13m35s).
• People may be predisposed to take more pleasure from either meaning or enjoyment, and tend to find their way in life based on what gives them the best hedonic signals (1h14m7s).
• A famous debate between Dan Gilbert and Daniel Carman discussed whether a life of constant pleasure or one with true meaning and happiness in retrospect is more desirable, with Gilbert arguing for the former and Carman for the latter (1h14m43s).
• The need to optimize for long-term meaning or short-term pleasure may depend on an individual's predisposition and thinking style, with more ruminative thinkers needing to focus on long-term goals (1h15m25s).
• Some people are able to focus on the present and enjoy short-term pleasures without worrying about long-term consequences, while others may prioritize long-term goals and meaning (1h15m36s).
• The ability to balance short-term and long-term goals is important, but one-size-fits-all solutions may not work for everyone, as people have different predispositions and priorities (1h16m16s).
• The modern world presents unique challenges in balancing short-term and long-term goals, as increased life expectancy and the presence of institutions like banks allow for longer-term planning and investment (1h17m25s).
• Humans may not be intuitively equipped to make decisions about long-term investments and planning, as our ancestors did not face the same kinds of decisions and time horizons (1h18m4s).
• The trade-offs between short-term pleasure and long-term meaning are a common dilemma, and have been faced by humans throughout history, but the modern world presents new challenges and opportunities in this regard (1h16m50s).
• Historical figures like Alexander, who conquered a vast empire at a young age, demonstrate that people can achieve great things early in life, but nowadays, it often takes much longer to achieve leadership positions and success, requiring significant investment and hard work from a young age (1h18m18s).
• This investment and hard work often involve postponing enjoyment, such as playing fewer video games, eating less nice food, and taking fewer holidays, which can lead to unhappiness due to the tension between short-term pleasure and long-term goals (1h19m0s).
• The modern world offers many ways to be happy in the short term, such as video games designed by psychologists to tap into people's desires for status and enjoyment, but these things may not lead to progress in life and can create a mismatch between feelings of meaning and pleasure (1h19m27s).
• This mismatch is a problem in the modern world, where appealing and pleasurable things are readily available, but the time horizon for achieving success has increased, leading to a longer wait for fulfillment (1h20m11s).

Myths About the Meaning of Life (1h20m32s)

• The classic question of the meaning of life often misses the point that people are looking for something outside of life to give their life sense and transcend their subjective experience (1h20m32s).
• Many people want to believe that there is an objective meaning to life that goes beyond their individual experiences, often seeking answers in metaphysical realities like religion (1h20m56s).
• From a naturalistic perspective, the desire for an objective meaning to life is just a feeling, and the only thing that exists is our subjective experience (1h22m0s).
• The concept of a "sky hook" refers to an explanation that comes from outside, such as a religious explanation, to give meaning to life (1h22m13s).
• Without a "sky hook," the only explanation for the feeling of meaning is that it comes from our brain, which has been designed to help us make good decisions (1h22m28s).
• The feeling of meaning is often linked to the idea that we are going somewhere in life and that it is connected to things that helped our ancestors be successful (1h22m36s).
• Many people experience meaning when doing good things for others, which makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, as investing in the future and being cooperative can lead to success (1h22m50s).
• The idea of doing good for others brings benefits from the future into the present, giving us a sense of meaning and purpose (1h23m28s).
• Our brain's reward system helps us take into consideration the benefits of doing good for others, even if it doesn't pay off immediately (1h23m15s).
• The feeling of goodwill and meaning that we experience when doing good things is because it would have helped our ancestors to be good cooperators and care about being nice to others (1h24m0s).
• Happiness and meaning can be perceived as signals produced by the brain to indicate if we're on a path that's aligned towards success, but this path gets calibrated by an ancestral past, leading to a huge opportunity for mismatch in the modern world (1h24m30s).
• Young boys in the modern world face challenges due to their late maturation, making it difficult for them to adapt to the demanding and systematic requirements of school, which can lead to a decrease in their success rates and university attendance (1h24m54s).
• The modern world offers quick rewards and accessible pleasures, especially online, which can push back the schedule to become successful and create a mismatch between the ancestral past and the present (1h25m37s).
• This mismatch can serve as a warning, suggesting that individuals, especially the young, should be careful not to get trapped by the pleasures offered by modern society, as they may not necessarily lead to happiness in the long run (1h26m24s).
• The perspective on human behavior and happiness is not normative, but rather descriptive, aiming to explain how humans work without imposing philosophical or normative principles (1h26m5s).
• Historical figures, such as Alexander, had different life paths and schedules for success, which are no longer applicable in the modern world, highlighting the need for individuals to adapt and think about their future (1h25m49s).
• The brain's signals for happiness and meaning are designed to help individuals be successful, but these signals can be influenced by the ancestral past and the modern environment, leading to potential mismatches and challenges (1h24m27s).

Where to Find Lionel (1h26m42s)

• Lionel Page has written a book titled "Optimally Irrational" that explores psychology and behavior, which is highly recommended for those interested in the subject (1h27m0s).
• Lionel Page also has a Substack where he continues to write about psychology from an evolutionary, Game Theory, and economic perspective under the same name "Optimally Irrational" (1h27m13s).
• The Substack features posts on various topics, including happiness, and upcoming posts will cover coalitional psychological theory (1h27m26s).
• Lionel Page can be invited as a guest again in the future, and he will be hassled to return every couple of months (1h26m52s).
• Viewers who enjoyed the episode are encouraged to check out other recommended content (1h27m42s).