Managing nerves, anxiety, and burnout | Jonny Miller (Nervous Systems Mastery)

Jonny’s background (0s)

• Jonny Miller teaches courses and does one-on-one coaching with tech professionals, helping them with nervous system mastery.
• Nervous system mastery involves cultivating calm, upgrading resilience, and increasing aliveness.
• Jonny's insights are based on his personal journey of burnout and the loss of his fiance to suicide.
• He emphasizes the importance of understanding the inner landscape of the body and emotions.

The bottom-up approach to nervousness and anxiety (7m19s)

• Jonny advocates for a bottom-up approach to managing nervousness and anxiety, focusing on changing the state of the body rather than trying to change thoughts or feelings directly.
• The afferent and efferent neurons in our bodies create a superhighway of information from the body to the brain, allowing us to rapidly change our state by influencing our physiology.

The power of breath in changing states (9m42s)

• Changing the way we breathe can significantly shift our physiological state and nervous system.
• Breathing into the upper chest, shallowly, and rapidly activates the sympathetic nervous system, leading to increased adrenaline and cortisol.
• Consciously changing the breath to emphasize the exhale has a calming effect and activates the parasympathetic nervous system.

The concept of state over story (11m47s)

• Jonny introduces the concept of "state over story," emphasizing the importance of focusing on the state of the body rather than the story we tell ourselves about our situation.
• Defocusing the gaze, expanding awareness, and breathing with an extended exhale can all help calm the nervous system.
• Reactive thoughts and feelings can reinforce anxiety, creating a self-reinforcing cycle that can lead to panic attacks.

Personal experiences with nervousness (13m56s)

• Jonny shares his personal experiences with nervousness, particularly before public speaking, despite being able to hide it well.
• He explains that the nervousness stems from the fear of not knowing how he will perform or how it will turn out.

Breathing exercises to calm you down (15m1s)

• Jonny recommends breathing exercises as a rapid and effective way to manage nervousness and anxiety.
• He guides the audience through a simple 4-4-8 breathing exercise: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds.
• The exercise is repeated for a minute or so, with an additional round of humming at the end.
• Humming releases nitric oxide, a vasodilator that promotes a calming effect and reduces eye tension.
• Jonny suggests creating a toolkit of different breathing practices suitable for various contexts, such as the 4-4-8 breathing, humming, expanding awareness, and grounding techniques.
• He emphasizes the importance of finding what works best for each individual and having a personalized "if this, then breathe" strategy.

The “espresso” breath exercise to give you energy (20m40s)

• Jonny introduces the "espresso" breath exercise as a way to boost energy and combat lethargy.
• It involves rapid exhales through the nose, similar to the Breath of Fire in the Wim Hof method but gentler.
• Jonny demonstrates the technique and recommends doing 30 breaths per round, followed by a long pause on the exhale.
• This exercise can be particularly helpful before giving a talk or when needing a quick energy boost.

Interoception and the A.P.E. framework (25m44s)

• Interoception is the ability to sense, track, and feel internal landscapes.
• Interoception can be trained and improved like other senses.
• Low levels of interoception are associated with ADHD, PTSD, and trauma.
• The A.P.E. framework (Awareness, Posture, Emotion) can help improve interoception.
• Awareness: Narrowing or expanding awareness can have different effects on the body.
• Posture: Posture affects how we feel and can be adjusted to improve well-being.
• Emotion: Noticing bodily sensations and emotions can provide valuable information.
• Regularly checking in with A.P.E. can help identify and address issues early on.
• Paying attention to breath and sensations can also enhance interoception.

The “feather, brick, dump truck” phenomenon (34m47s)

• Burnout often starts with subtle signs that can be easily missed.
• The "feather, brick, dump truck" phenomenon describes the progression of burnout.
• The "feather" stage involves mild symptoms like tiredness and exhaustion.
• Ignoring or missing early signs can lead to more severe symptoms like frustration and arguments ("brick" stage).
• The "dump truck" stage represents a full-blown health crisis or other major negative consequences.
• Developing interoceptive skills can help identify and address burnout at an early stage.

Recognizing emotional debt and avoiding burnout (37m40s)

• Emotional debt: when the nervous system experiences stress and the mobilization cycle isn't completed, leading to allostatic load and fragility in the nervous system.
• Early warning signs of emotional debt:
  • Increased reactivity, irritability, and frustration.
  • Difficulty sleeping or waking up feeling rested.
  • Strained relationships, especially intimate or work relationships.
• Emotional debt can accumulate over time and lead to health crises and challenges.
• Key sign of reaching a threshold of emotional debt: inability to naturally downshift or downregulate the nervous system without external substances like wine or CBD.

Using somatic-oriented therapy for healing (40m47s)

• Somatic-oriented therapy focuses on the body and physical sensations to address emotional challenges.
• Talk therapy alone may not be sufficient in addressing the root of stress and emotional debt.
• Somatic practices, such as breathwork journeys, can help release stored emotions and trauma held in the body.
• Cultivating interoception, self-regulation, and emotional fluidity are key to healing emotional debt.
• Working with a somatic practitioner or therapist can provide guidance and support in the healing process.

Telltale signs of emotional debt (45m26s)

• Signs of emotional debt include:
  • Dysregulated breathing patterns, such as constant sympathetic or hypervigilant states.
  • Disassociation from the body and living primarily in the mind.
  • Emotional reactivity that is disproportionate to situations.
  • Two common reactivity patterns: freezing/withdrawing/shutting down, or becoming aggressive/attacking.
  • Importance of recognizing reactivity patterns and downshifting the nervous system before making decisions.

The competitive advantage of “feeling the feels” (48m13s)

• Feeling emotions provides a competitive advantage in decision-making.
• A study on a patient with a brain tumor that removed his emotional capacity showed the importance of emotions in decision-making.
• Avoiding certain emotions can lead to biased decision-making.
• Welcoming and accepting all emotions allows for clearer and more informed decision-making.

Advice for people overwhelmed by stimuli (50m20s)

• People with high interceptive capacity may find it overwhelming to process all the stimuli in their environment.
• For those overwhelmed by daily stimuli, it is recommended to work on increasing nervous system capacity through practices like SAER and cold plunges.
• It is important to allow oneself spaciousness after intense emotions to process and release them, preventing the buildup of emotional debt.
• Emotional debt can lead to burnout and long-term health issues.

The NSDR (non-sleep deep rest) practice for emotional release (52m36s)

• NSDR is a practice coined by Andre Hean, inspired by the ancient yoga practice of Yoga Nidra.
• NSDR involves a guided body scan and relaxation techniques to promote deep rest and emotional release.
• It can help improve interoception, reduce stress, and provide a sense of rejuvenation.
• NSDR is recommended for those who experience emotional debt or need to downshift after periods of stress.

Daily practices for emotional well-being (55m38s)

• Experiment with different practices to find what works best for you.
• Start with simple practices like 4-4-8 breathing or humming for a few minutes each day.
• Incorporate the NSDR practice at least once or twice daily.
• Consider working with a somatic practitioner or therapist to enhance body awareness and emotional well-being.
• Add the 8 practice before and after breathing exercises to notice the difference.

Thoughts on meditation (58m23s)

• Meditation can be beneficial for training specific skills like loving-kindness, focus, and spacious awareness.
• Embodied meditation practices, such as body scans, are recommended for interoceptive awareness.
• Meditation can increase the psychological space between stimuli and response, allowing for more conscious reactions.
• While mindfulness and meditation have gained popularity, there has been an oversight of body-based approaches.
• Meditation is valuable for certain goals, but bottom-up practices are more effective for enhancing body awareness and overall well-being.

The Body Keeps the Score (1h1m26s)

• The book "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk explores the concept of incomplete mobilization reflexes stored in the body.
• Trauma is not strictly held in the body but rather mapped in the brain, but it manifests as physical sensations and tension.
• By developing emotional fluidity and awareness of these sensations, tension can be released, leading to reduced reactivity and emotional debt.
• The body can be seen as a "scorecard" that reflects our emotional experiences and patterns.
• Peter Levine's book "Waking the Tiger" provides further insights into mobilization reflexes and their impact on the body.

Contrarian corner (1h1m58s)

• Jonny Miller introduces a new segment called "contrarian corner" where he shares unpopular opinions.
• He believes talk-based meditation is not as effective as other forms of meditation.
• Burnout is vastly underestimated, with a median cost of $100,000 for startups.
• Burnout has second and third-order consequences such as talent attrition, opportunity costs, and loss of productivity.
• Emotional contagion from leaders can negatively impact their teams.
• The nervous system of an organization reflects the nervous system of the CEO.
• Working hard is acceptable, but it's important to maintain the body, mind, and nervous system.
• Building nervous system capacity is crucial for balancing hard work with rest.