Life in The Largest Urban slum | Delphine Nyaboke | TEDxKigali Women

Childhood in Kibera

• A line often separates people based on their economic status, political status, sexual orientation, and social status, with the latter being the case for the individual who lived in Kibera slums in Nairobi, Kenya, where 2.5 million people reside, and over 1 million people live in Kibera slums specifically (5s).
• The individual lived with their three siblings and two parents in a small 9 by 9 house, where everything was separated by a curtain, and the bathroom was a significant challenge (21s).
• To use the bathroom, residents would grab a plastic bag, take a squat, aim, and then tie the bag and throw it onto a neighbor's rooftop, a practice known as "The Flying toilet" (1m19s).
• At the age of 12, the individual experienced a traumatic event when they were raped by a 47-year-old man while playing in a field in 42 Village, Kibera slums (2m42s).
• After the incident, the individual tried to walk home, but encountered six other men who made comments that suggested they might also harm them, prompting the individual to run home (3m36s).
• Upon arriving home, the individual bathed with salted water but did not confide in their mother or foster father about the incident (4m19s).
• The next Monday, the individual sought help from their class teacher, Richard Mugu, who arranged for them to receive treatment at a clinic in V2 Village, where they received medication to prevent pregnancy (4m42s).
• The doctor delivered both good and bad news, with the good news being that the individual would not get pregnant due to the medication, and the bad news was not specified in the provided text (5m34s).
• A diagnosis of a sexually transmitted infection (STI) was given, with the doctor stating it was incurable but manageable for the rest of the patient's life, and prescribing a rectangular-shaped medicine to be inserted vaginally for one week to mitigate the infection (5m56s).
• The patient had identified the man who gave her the STI as 47 years old, and he was known to the community in 42 Village (6m45s).

Family and Abuse

• In some cultures, a "bring along kid" is a child born before the parent or adult has been married, and the child is brought into the marriage (7m5s).
• The patient's mother had her when she was not married, and then brought her into the marriage, where the patient's stepfather, an alcoholic, would beat her, leaving scars that are still visible two decades later (7m12s).
• The patient's stepfather would beat her but not his biological children, and the patient's mother felt she had no option but to stay in the marriage (7m57s).
• The patient's academic certificates, passport, and birth certificate bear her stepfather's name, which she finds triggering and prefers not to be called by (8m10s).

Female Genital Mutilation

• The patient was sent to rural Kenya to visit her extended relatives, where she and her cousins underwent female genital mutilation (FGM) (8m39s).
• According to UNESCO 2022 statistics, FGM has affected 200 million young girls and women in 31 countries across three continents, with 4 million girls at risk every year (9m10s).
• In Kenya, the prevalence of FGM is 15% as of 2022, according to UNESCO statistics (9m34s).
• The patient's tribe, the Abusi tribe, still practices FGM and male circumcision, and the patient was forced to undergo the procedure by her grandmother and aunts (9m58s).
• The patient tried to scream and plead with her grandmother to stop the procedure, but was held down and had 3/4 of her clitoris cut off with a razor blade (10m42s).
• The healing process from a painful experience took five days, and it was extremely painful, especially when urinating, with no access to medicine, only receiving a lizer breid, a type of bread, after the other (11m36s).
• Two years later, rumors spread that the mother was planning to take the siblings to Kisi Highland, prompting a strong reaction to prevent the siblings from going through the same experience (12m6s).
• The mother was calling to ask when the siblings would arrive, but the determination was to find a way to prevent this, even if it meant borrowing money, despite being only 12 or 14 years old at the time (12m47s).
• Fortunately, the sister's genitalia remained intact, thanks to the efforts made to prevent the situation (13m4s).

Journey and Support

• The journey from a difficult past to the present involved navigating challenging circumstances, including not being able to call someone "dad" due to not being considered a legitimate child (13m29s).
• Three key factors contributed to overcoming these challenges: teachers who were kind, approachable, and supportive, such as Mr. Richard M, who encouraged staying in school (14m18s).
• Schools served as a safe space, providing comfort and a sense of security, and teachers played an incredible role in helping to overcome difficult situations (14m39s).
• Statistics show that out of every 100 people, 58 have been sexually abused, with 29 being boys and 23 being girls, highlighting the prevalence of the issue (14m59s).
• Non-profit organizations and community-based organizations also played a crucial role in providing support, such as the 7th Day Adventist, which paid for secondary education, and the Jesuits organization, which paid for a diploma in electrical engineering (15m42s).
• Loans and fundraisers also helped to support education, including high education loan board loans, bank loans, and personal requests for support (16m15s).
• The author's journey through education was made possible by the support of teachers, with one lecturer paying for the last stretch of secondary school, and a story of paying school fees being passed on to the next person who would hear it (16m37s).

Present and Future

• The author was employed by a software company in Kenya in May 2021, which led to a significant improvement in living conditions, from a slum to a fully furnished apartment (17m12s).
• The author is happily married to Haron and has two children, Leonardo and CH (17m55s).
• The author's quest for education was driven by the advice of Mr. Richard Moles, who said that education would get them far, leading to an offer from Kan melon University Africa with a Master Card full scholarship in May 2023 (18m7s).
• The author's partner, Haron, supported the decision to pursue further education in Rwanda, staying behind with the children while the author studied (19m2s).
• The author is currently studying at Kan melon University Africa, where they hold various leadership positions, including Women in Tech Club president, Women Tech Ambassador, and Mongol user group leader (19m27s).