2.25M Q&A - The Manosphere, Mike Israetel & Overcoming Insecurities
25 Jul 2024 (2 months ago)
The Link Between Worry & Results
- Worrying does not lead to better results. The speaker argues that while worrying might lead to small performance increases, it ultimately hinders overall results. This is because worrying creates a tense and anxious state, which is detrimental to achieving flow and ease in performance.
- Worrying can lead to a negative performance spiral. The speaker shares a personal experience where he overprepared for an interview with Robert Green, leading to excessive worry and ultimately a subpar performance. This demonstrates how worry can create a vicious cycle of poor performance and self-criticism.
- Finding ease and grace is key to better performance. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding a state of ease and grace when performing, rather than worrying. This allows for better focus, flow, and ultimately, better results.
Is it Toxic to Use Insecurity as Fuel?
- Using insecurity as fuel can be beneficial in the beginning. It can provide the motivation needed to overcome inertia and start taking action, especially when feeling stuck or complacent. This is similar to a booster rocket using different fuel sources at different stages of launch.
- However, relying on insecurity as fuel long-term can be toxic. It can make you overly sensitive to external validation, susceptible to manipulation, and prone to comparing yourself to others. This can lead to a fragile sense of self and an inability to celebrate your own accomplishments.
- It's important to recognize that insecurity is a temporary tool. Like a chip on your shoulder, it can be helpful initially but should be replaced with more sustainable sources of motivation as you progress.
Performing a Shoey in Australia
- Chris Williamson, the speaker, is planning to perform a "shoey" (drinking from a shoe) on stage in Australia during his upcoming live tour.
- He acknowledges that Australia was previously a British colony, and he is willing to embrace Australian culture by performing this tradition.
- Williamson is considering using a shoe filled with "Newtonic" energy drink, a brand known for its unique flavors, but he is unsure if it will be appropriate due to the late hour of the show.
Techniques for Exiting Monk Mode
- Exiting Monk Mode: Monk mode is a period of focused isolation, introspection, and self-improvement. While it can be beneficial, it can also become addictive and make reintegration into society difficult.
- Tips for Reintegration: To reintegrate after monk mode, start with group activities that have a social dynamic built in, such as CrossFit, improv, or salsa dancing. These activities provide a low-stakes environment for social interaction.
- One-on-One Interactions: When transitioning to one-on-one interactions, prioritize spending time with people who make it easy to be yourself. This helps to establish positive social habits and avoid falling back into old, less desirable patterns.
Chris’s Most Challenging Chapter
- Chris identifies two particularly challenging periods in his life: the end of his 20s and the last 18 months, which he considers to be among his most difficult. He attributes the latter to a significant increase in attention, opportunities, and offers, leading to a change in how people perceive him.
- This increased attention and opportunity, while flattering, has also been challenging. It has led to a lot of work, operational changes, and team growth, which he describes as "spinning plates." He mentions specific examples like moving to Austin, hiring new staff, and managing various projects like the show, book deals, and partnerships.
- Despite the success, Chris has realized that he has been missing out on enjoying the process. This realization has led him to focus on finding a balance between achieving success and enjoying the journey. He is actively seeking ways to transcend his desire for success and incorporate a greater appreciation for the process itself.
Is Chris Gay?
- The speaker, Chris, is asked if he is gay.
- Chris denies being gay, except for Mike Israetel, who he jokingly states is the only man he would be gay for.
- Chris describes Mike Israetel as a "shiny charizard," implying he is unique and desirable.
Why Chris Stands in Recordings
- Chris prefers to record his podcasts while standing because he finds it more comfortable and conducive to focus.
- He has been using a standing desk for his virtual studio for the past four years and doesn't feel any more tired than he would sitting down.
- Chris believes that standing helps him to stay focused and manage any excess energy or discomfort, which he finds beneficial for content creation.
Is a Buzzcut a Sign of Confidence?
- The speaker believes that a buzzcut can be a sign of confidence, particularly for women, as it demonstrates confidence in their hairline.
- The speaker explains that a buzzcut eliminates the ability to hide hair loss, making it a bold choice.
- The speaker, who is 36 years old, notes that some of his friends are experiencing hair loss and suggests that a buzzcut may be necessary in the future to avoid looking silly.
Anticipating Being Attacked by Mainstream Media
- The speaker anticipates being attacked by mainstream media due to his association with the "manosphere." He believes this is a common occurrence for anyone who gains popularity in independent media, regardless of their views.
- The speaker sees this as a tactic for mainstream media to regain relevance and clicks, as they are struggling to compete with the growing popularity of independent media.
- The speaker acknowledges that he is not prepared for such an attack and does not have a PR crisis team, but he is willing to face the challenge and learn from the experience. He also plans to reach out to Andrew Huberman, who has faced similar attacks, for advice.
Is Chris Related to Mike Israetel?
- The speaker, Chris, is asked if he is related to Mike Israetel because they look alike.
- Chris acknowledges that they both have four limbs and skin, but beyond that, he believes they are very different looking.
- Chris humorously suggests that the person asking the question might be making a "white boys all look the same" joke.
Wildlife in America Vs UK
- The questioner, living in Manchester, UK, expresses concern about the impact of American wildlife on mental well-being, specifically fearing snakes, spiders, and alligators.
- The speaker, who lives in Texas, acknowledges the presence of snakes but emphasizes that suburban areas are generally safe.
- The speaker mentions that black bears are a potential concern in areas like the Smoky Mountains, but overall, they haven't been worried about wildlife in their daily life.
Earning Money From the Podcast
- The speaker, who runs a podcast and a business called "Newtonic," clarifies that the question is about earning money from the podcast, as Newtonic is a business that requires constant investment.
- He reveals that it took four years for his podcast to start generating revenue that exceeded its costs.
- He notes that many podcasts begin making money around episode 150, but it can take longer for those without a large pre-existing platform or exceptional talent.
Has Chris Benefitted From Looks?
How to Know if Your Content is Valuable?
- Sadinski explains that he initially focused on creating content that was valuable to himself, as he was the target audience for his show.
- He believes that if he finds his own content valuable, it's likely that others who share his interests will also find it valuable.
- He acknowledges that he has met many viewers at live shows and received feedback from thousands through email and direct messages, but ultimately, he prioritizes creating content that he personally finds valuable.
Hours or Casually Dressed?
- The question posed is whether one prefers spending 100 hours or being casually dressed.
- The commenter expresses their fondness for the band Funeral For A Friend, mentioning they were one of the first bands they saw live and may be from Middlesboro, the commenter's hometown.
- The commenter specifically praises the album "Casually Dressed and Deep in Conversation" by Funeral For A Friend, released in 2003 or 2004, and also mentions their appreciation for the "Ours" album.
Chris’s New Vlogs
- Chris does not have a specific plan for his vlogs going forward, but he intends to continue making them.
- He is more comfortable with structured conversations about specific topics than free-flowing vlogs, as he fears he may not be interesting enough without a specific purpose or structure.
- Chris is grateful for the positive feedback he receives on his vlogs and plans to continue making them, including more training series with various individuals like Seum, George Heaton, Hom, and potentially Huberman. He is open to suggestions for future vlog topics.
Product With Mike Israetel
- The speaker is collaborating with Mike Israetel on a new product that is expected to be released before the end of the year.
- The speaker is very enthusiastic about the product, describing it as "beyond world-changing" and a "big swing for the fences."
- The speaker acknowledges that the product may not be successful, but emphasizes that it is a significant endeavor. Mike Israetel was so impressed with the product after using it that he couldn't stop talking about how amazing it is.
Balancing Clickbaity Titles
- The speaker acknowledges that some of the video titles can be considered clickbaity, but emphasizes that they are trying to find a balance between attracting viewers and maintaining a certain level of intellectual respect.
- The speaker recognizes that there are many other creators who use far more extreme clickbait tactics, but it is difficult to compete for views when the market trends towards sensationalism.
- The speaker explains that their team of strategists and copywriters would create more clickbaity titles if given free rein, but the speaker personally prefers a more positive and less outrageous approach.
Both Socks on Before Shoes?
- The speaker poses a question about the order in which people put on their socks and shoes, specifically whether they put both socks on first followed by both shoes, or alternate between socks and shoes.
- The speaker expresses disbelief that anyone would alternate socks and shoes, suggesting that such a practice is unusual and potentially indicative of a serious medical condition or criminal behavior.
- The speaker concludes the segment by dismissing the alternative method as nonsensical and moving on to the next topic.
How is Chris Doing?
- Chris has been going through a difficult time with health issues, which he describes as a "hot mess" at the beginning of the year. He plans to discuss these issues in more detail in a future vlog and podcast.
- Chris acknowledges that losing mental capacity due to health issues is incredibly difficult, especially for someone who relies heavily on their mind. He describes the experience as "ruthless" and "unfair."
- Despite the challenges, Chris is feeling better and is enjoying traveling with his friend George. He finds the experience to be exactly what he needs and is grateful for the opportunity to adjust his life in this way. He is optimistic about the future and believes he will be doing well by the end of the year.
Chris’s Shoulder Bag
- Chris is discussing a shoulder bag he wears in his recent vlog, which is an "on it" bag, also known as a bum bag or fanny pack in America.
- The bag was given to him by Sky, his ads guy, and is no longer available for purchase.
- Chris recommends Nomatic's travel sling as a good alternative, which comes in black, green, and blue. He owns all three colors and finds them to be great. However, he notes that the travel sling is not suitable for everyday carry and does not fit a handgun, unlike the "on it" bag. He also mentions that the travel sling can fit a Kindle Oasis.
Keeping Track of Chris’s Quotes
- Chris Carman, the speaker, uses Apple Notes to keep track of all the quotes he shares.
- He has accumulated over 3,000 notes in Apple Notes and finds them easy to access due to the app's global search function.
- While his notes are not organized into folders or formatted well, he can easily find them by searching for a single word from the quote or note.
What T-Shirts Does Chris Wear?
- Chris wears a Zara basic slim fit t-shirt in an XL size.
- He describes the t-shirt as "crisp, clean, and simple" and highly recommends it.
- The t-shirt is available in a variety of colors, costs $19, and is very durable.
Butt Stuff in Austin
When a Guest Enjoys Chris’s Questions
- Chris Williamson acknowledges that he experiences a sense of pride when interviewees compliment his questions, attributing it to the release of dopamine. He recognizes that his podcast's success is partly due to his ability to communicate effectively.
- Chris emphasizes that his role is to be the "curious person" in the room, facilitating conversations with experts by asking insightful questions. He aims to create a comfortable and safe environment for his guests to share their knowledge and insights.
- Chris cautions against chasing compliments from guests, as it can lead to trying to impress them with unnecessary stories or theatrics. He prioritizes creating a space where guests can shine and share their expertise, rather than focusing on his own performance.
Conversations With & Without Mics
- The presence of cameras and microphones can affect the natural flow of a conversation. Ignacio acknowledges that large-scale video shoots can be distracting and make it difficult to fully engage with the guest. He feels the need to be "on" and perform for the camera, which can detract from the authenticity of the conversation.
- Ignacio strives to achieve a level of comfort and ease in front of the camera that mirrors a natural conversation. He recognizes that the ideal scenario is to have a conversation that feels as relaxed and genuine as one without the presence of recording equipment. He actively works towards this goal by practicing and refining his on-camera presence.
- Ignacio values the importance of having raw, unfiltered conversations with guests outside of the recording environment. He believes that these conversations can be more insightful and allow for a deeper connection. He also acknowledges the potential for these conversations to be controversial or even offensive, which is why he chooses to keep them private.
Necessary Vs Unnecessary Worries
- The speaker expresses uncertainty about the concept of "necessary worries" and finds the idea of relinquishing worry appealing.
- The speaker suggests that treating all worries as unnecessary, even if not factually true, can be a helpful starting point for managing anxiety.
- The speaker encourages listeners to try and let go of as many worries as possible.
Learning to Say No to Things
- Saying "no" to things allows you to focus on the most important aspects of your life and career. This becomes increasingly important as you become more successful, as you'll be presented with opportunities that you may have previously desired but are now less valuable to you.
- The speaker, who is a successful individual, shares his own experiences with saying "no" to things. He mentions declining calls without clear outcomes, exploratory projects, partnerships with unclear benefits, and most guest appearances. He prioritizes focusing on his own projects and goals.
- The speaker emphasizes that saying "no" is essential for achieving success and influence, as it allows you to manage your time effectively and avoid distractions. He acknowledges that this can be challenging, especially for people-pleasers and those with imposter syndrome.
Sniffing Vapes
- Luke T, the speaker's tour manager, book agent, and colleague at Newtonic, jokingly asks when they will be "sniffing vapes" next.
- The speaker, likely referring to Mike Israetel, responds that they can "sniff vapes" after the final show in Australia.
- Lexi joe9, another individual in the conversation, seems to be agreeing with the speaker's suggestion.
Do Men Want to Be Approached By Women at the Gym?
- The speaker, Lexi, addresses the question of whether men want to be approached by women at the gym.
- Lexi humorously suggests that all men, regardless of their relationship status, dietary restrictions, or fitness level, would welcome female attention at the gym.
- The speaker uses the phrase "mansplain" to playfully acknowledge the potential for oversimplification in explaining male psychology.
Chris’s University Degree
- Chris obtained two degrees: a master's in international marketing and a bachelor's in business management.
- Despite achieving good grades, Chris felt unfulfilled by his studies and lost interest in academia within six months of starting university.
- He regrets not pursuing subjects like psychology or philosophy, which he would have enjoyed more, but now finds access to valuable knowledge through podcasts and online resources.
Aspiring Trophy Husband Goals
- The speaker is discussing the concept of "aspiring trophy husband goals."
- They are not currently in training for this goal, but rather in a "bosan" state, which is not defined in the provided text.
- The speaker wonders when the idea of becoming a trophy husband first occurred to them.
When Chris Learned He Was Good at Asking Questions
- Chris was often told as a child that he was loud and talkative, which he found annoying because he felt it was unfair that he was singled out for being vocal while other, more disruptive students, were not.
- This experience led him to internalize a lesson about talking too much and not being thoughtful enough in conversation.
- Starting the show and focusing on asking questions was a great training ground for Chris, building his confidence rapidly and helping him overcome his self-perceived shortcomings in conversation.
Getting a Well-Defined & Chiseled Face
- Mike Israetel does not have a specific routine for achieving a well-defined and chiseled face.
- He believes that genetics and body fat percentage play a significant role in facial appearance.
- He suggests that losing body fat, particularly reaching single-digit body fat percentage, can contribute to a more chiseled facial structure.
Does Chris Have a Potential Partner?
- The speaker is asked about his relationship status and why he hasn't found a new partner after a recent breakup.
- He humorously suggests that the breakup itself was the "holdup" and that he should be actively seeking new partners.
- He jokingly mentions the possibility of finding a partner in Bozeman, Montana, perhaps a "lovely farm girl."
Celebrating Your Wins Better
- Celebrating wins with others helps break the pattern of immediately moving on to the next goal. The speaker suggests that sharing accomplishments with friends and family, and even planning celebratory experiences together, can help individuals savor their successes.
- Rewarding oneself with experiences rather than possessions can be more effective in recharging for future tasks. The speaker emphasizes that experiences, such as trips or time spent with loved ones, can provide a more lasting sense of fulfillment than material rewards.
- Shifting one's mindset to prioritize enjoyment is crucial for long-term satisfaction. The speaker encourages individuals to ask themselves how they can make their pursuits and accomplishments more enjoyable, as this can prevent burnout and maintain motivation.
What Clip Length is Chris’s Haircut?
- Chris's haircut is a two on the sides and two and a half on the top, but he's currently using a one and a half and a two because he doesn't want to go to the barbers every three weeks.
- He believes that a two and a half on top looks great if you have the hair to pull it off.
- However, if your hair grows quickly, a two and a half will be too long within three weeks, so a one and a half to two is a better option.
Building Back Your Ego & Confidence
- The speaker acknowledges the listener's question about regaining confidence after reducing ego. He relates to the experience, having gone through a similar process himself. He emphasizes that confidence built solely on ego is not true confidence, but rather blind confidence.
- The speaker suggests that true confidence comes from a solid foundation of self-knowledge and justification. This means knowing who you are and having evidence to support your confidence. He contrasts this with the "assumptive confidence" of youth, which is often fueled by testosterone and a lack of experience.
- The speaker encourages the listener to consider the value of losing ego. He asks if the listener would trade their reduced ego for their previous confidence. If the answer is yes, then rebuilding confidence will require significant effort. However, if the listener is happy with the trade-off, then they should focus on building confidence from a place of positivity. He recommends James Clear's book "How to Be Confident" and Alex's insight that confidence is built through "undeniable proof" of one's capabilities.
When is Tim Dillon Coming on?
- The commenter asks when comedian Tim Dillon will be a guest on the podcast.
- The host acknowledges the commenter's long-time support, having been a subscriber since the podcast had 97,000 subscribers.
- The host mentions that they will be in Los Angeles in a couple of weeks, where Tim Dillon is also located, and that they will try to schedule a podcast episode together if their schedules align.
Does Chris Have Any Wild Insecurities?
- Chris acknowledges that he has insecurities, but he struggles to assess their validity. He feels a strong desire to be respected and liked, fearing being excluded and feeling like an outsider. This stems from his childhood experiences, where he felt isolated and lacked a sense of belonging, even in his chosen sport.
- He also grapples with feelings of inadequacy and worthiness, often questioning if he's good enough and if his accomplishments are truly impressive. This is exacerbated by his high standards, which he finds difficult to meet.
- Chris attributes his current insecurities to a combination of emotional work in therapy, health challenges, and sleep deprivation. He acknowledges that his insecurities might be amplified by the growing audience of his show, as millions of people scrutinize his actions.
Chris’s 54 Year Old Granny Fan
- The speaker expresses excitement and appreciation for having a 54-year-old granny as a listener of their podcast.
- The speaker acknowledges that this demographic may not be the primary target audience for the podcast.
- The speaker emphasizes that their content is accessible to everyone and welcomes listeners from all backgrounds.
Does Chris Get Tired of Positivity & Wellness?
- Chris acknowledges that he sometimes finds the constant positivity and wellness content online a bit depressing and longs for a more self-destructive approach.
- He emphasizes his extensive experience with partying and self-destructive behavior, comparing himself to a "Rob O'Neal of self-destruction," referring to the Navy SEAL who shot Osama bin Laden.
- Chris believes that while there is a place for self-destructive behavior, those who are unable to let go of it may be exhibiting a particular type of fragility.
Why Chris Looks the Same as 2 Years Ago
- Chris acknowledges that he looks similar to how he did two years ago and questions if people typically age that much in such a short period.
- He describes his basic skincare routine, which involves washing his face and applying moisturizer after showering.
- Chris expresses concern that he might not be aging at all, suggesting that he should change at some point, and humorously mentions the possibility of consuming "baby blood" from Mike Israetel's cellar.
Chris’s Thoughts on Circumcision
- Chris expresses his strong opposition to circumcision, particularly when performed on infants, calling it "barbaric" and lacking any justification. He believes it reduces sensitivity and can lead to difficulties with sexual pleasure, citing his friend Yousef's expertise on the subject.
- Chris highlights the potential risks of circumcision, including infant mortality, and questions the cultural practice in the United States, particularly among non-Jewish individuals. He observes that most American men are circumcised and expresses confusion about the reasons behind this widespread practice.
- Chris shares an anecdote about a sauna and cold plunge facility where he noticed a stark difference in how men covered their genitals after the cold plunge, suggesting a potential link between circumcision and discomfort. He concludes by advocating for the defunding of circumcision.
Is Having a Small Penis a Skill Issue?
- The speaker humorously suggests that having a small penis is a "skill issue," implying that any physical characteristic can be framed as a lack of skill.
- The speaker extends this concept to other physical attributes, such as circumcision and the absence of a fork, further emphasizing the absurdity of the "skill issue" argument.
- The speaker then transitions to a discussion about subscriber numbers, suggesting that while they don't need to care about them, celebrating small wins is important for motivation and rejuvenation.
Looking Forward to Australia
- Mike Israetel expresses excitement about his upcoming trip to Australia, particularly looking forward to experiencing authentic Australian cuisine and visiting a unique pool where the sea meets the shore.
- He anticipates a high level of energy and curiosity from the Australian audience, noting that Modern Wisdom has a larger following in Australia than any other country.
- He expects the Australian tour to be particularly lively due to the Australian reputation for being energetic and the high density of Modern Wisdom followers in the country.
Ending
- The speaker, who has been on the road, is currently having a Starbucks breakfast bap and water, and has been avoiding caffeine.
- The speaker expresses gratitude to the viewers and acknowledges the rapid growth of the show, which leads to quick Q&A sessions.
- The speaker announces the availability of new tonic on newtonic.com, with next-day delivery in the UK and US, and previews a busy August with many guests, followed by a tour in November and a collaboration with Mike Israetel before November.