6 Things I Learned From Not Drinking For 1 Year
29 Jul 2024 (2 months ago)
Intro
- The speaker gave up alcohol 11 years ago and is sharing lessons learned from that experience.
- The speaker is revisiting a blog post they wrote on the one-year anniversary of their sobriety, adding new insights gained over the past 10 years.
- The speaker believes these lessons are applicable to anyone trying to create a new habit, not just those giving up alcohol.
Lesson 1: Figure out your why and go all in on that.
- The speaker emphasizes the importance of identifying your "why" for making a significant life change, such as quitting drinking. They explain that their personal reason for quitting was to experience life fully and avoid squandering their potential. They felt that alcohol was masking their emotions and preventing them from truly feeling alive.
- The speaker shares their experience of how quitting drinking allowed them to confront challenging situations with a newfound sense of exhilaration. They describe feeling an adrenaline rush when facing things they previously avoided, such as talking to women or pursuing business opportunities. This newfound ability to embrace challenges made them feel truly alive.
- The speaker stresses the importance of constantly reminding yourself of your "why" when pursuing a life-changing goal. They believe that this constant reminder is crucial for staying motivated and committed to the change.
Lesson 2: Tell your friends
- Telling friends about your struggles with alcohol can be incredibly beneficial. The speaker initially hid his drinking problem, leading to a dangerous withdrawal experience and a relapse after moving to San Francisco. He eventually confided in his roommates, finding relief and support.
- Sharing your struggles can help you overcome them. The speaker found that talking about his addiction helped him feel less embarrassed and normalized the experience. He realized that many others struggle with similar issues, and that sharing his story could help others.
- Telling people about your goals can increase your chances of success. The speaker believes that sharing your intentions with others can create accountability and encourage you to stay on track. This applies not only to addiction recovery but also to other goals like starting a business.
Lesson 3: Recreate your identity.
- Recreating your identity is crucial for personal growth and change. The author draws inspiration from Robert Greene's "48 Laws of Power," specifically the concept of recreating your identity. He uses Lady Gaga as an example, highlighting how she transformed her image and built a brand around her unique identity.
- Changing your self-perception can be empowering. The author emphasizes the importance of using positive labels to redefine yourself. He suggests replacing negative labels like "alcoholic" with positive ones like "sober." This shift in self-perception can act as a catalyst for positive change.
- Labels can be powerful tools for achieving goals. The author advocates for using labels to solidify your desired identity. He shares his personal experience of labeling himself as a "fitness influencer" and "athlete," which motivated him to achieve his fitness goals. He believes that labels like "good person," "loyal," or "entrepreneur" can be incredibly effective in driving personal growth and success.
Lesson 4: Don’t be perfect, just mostly good.
- The speaker emphasizes the importance of focusing on being "mostly good" rather than striving for perfection. This applies to many aspects of life, including quitting alcohol.
- The speaker uses the example of quitting alcohol to illustrate this point. They explain that when trying to break a habit, it's important to understand the habit loop (stimulus, reaction, repetition) and that the habit itself may not disappear but rather transfer to something else.
- The speaker shares their experience of transferring their alcohol craving to sugar. They were advised by their doctor to indulge in M&M's to avoid relapsing, recognizing that addressing the sugar craving could be tackled later. This highlights the idea of focusing on one change at a time and not aiming for perfection.
Lesson 5: You’ll attract more people.
- The speaker initially feared that being sober would make him less attractive to women, especially because he was single at the time. He worried that women would perceive him as a "freak" or "boring" for not drinking.
- However, the speaker found that being open about his sobriety actually made him more attractive to women. He noticed that women were intrigued by his honesty and his commitment to sobriety.
- The speaker also experienced an increase in confidence as a result of his sobriety, which made him more attractive to both men and women. This newfound confidence led to a positive cycle, where he felt empowered to pursue other goals and further boost his self-esteem.
Lesson 6. Find inspiration. (It’s ok to be corny)
- Finding inspiration is crucial and it's okay to embrace corny methods. The speaker emphasizes the importance of inspiration, even if it comes from seemingly cheesy sources. He shares a personal anecdote about meeting a sober man who was still the life of the party, which inspired him to seek out motivational resources.
- Inspiration can help you overcome fear and take action. The speaker believes that inspiration can provide the necessary push to overcome fear and take action, whether it's quitting alcohol, starting a business, or pursuing a romantic relationship. He compares himself to a fast car with its back tires lifted, emphasizing that while he was motivated, he needed inspiration to point him in the right direction.
- Don't be afraid to lean into cheesy motivational tactics. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace corny motivational techniques, such as reading self-help books or setting up motivational systems, as they can be incredibly effective. He acknowledges that these methods might seem silly, but they can provide the necessary boost to overcome fear and achieve goals.