How embracing your emotions will accelerate your career | Joe Hudson (Art of Accomplishment)
09 Aug 2024 (1 month ago)
Joe’s background
- The speaker is Joe Hudson, a sought-after executive coach who works with leaders in tech companies like OpenAI, SpaceX, and Apple.
- Hudson's coaching approach draws from spiritual, psychological, and neurological practices.
- He helps people create the life they want with enjoyment and ease through his courses and podcast.
- Hudson's expertise focuses on helping people overcome the obstacles that prevent them from achieving their goals, particularly the negative voice in their head and the avoidance of their emotions.
- He emphasizes the importance of embracing emotions, as avoiding them only amplifies their negative impact.
- Hudson suggests responding to the negative voice in your head with compassion and understanding, acknowledging its presence and offering reassurance.
- He believes that focusing on enjoying what you do can significantly increase productivity and quality of work.
- Hudson advocates for a daily gratitude practice, which he believes can dramatically improve one's life.
The critical voice in your head
- A critical inner voice can hinder success and enjoyment. This voice often presents itself as a motivator, but it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and prevent individuals from fully appreciating their achievements.
- Emotional suppression or compartmentalization can also be detrimental. Instead of trying to manage or ignore emotions, individuals should embrace and understand them.
- Harnessing emotions can lead to greater success and fulfillment. By acknowledging and understanding their emotions, individuals can use them as a source of motivation and insight, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.
Changing your relationship with the critical voice
- The critical voice in one's head is often wrong and unhelpful, repeating negative messages that are not based on logic or reason.
- Trying to silence or control this voice is ineffective. Instead, one should change their relationship with it by responding to it in new ways.
- Experimenting with different responses to the critical voice can help to understand its nature and ultimately diminish its power.
- The critical voice often acts like a scared child having a tantrum, and responding to it with empathy and understanding can help to shift the dynamic.
- Approaching the critical voice with an experimental mindset allows for learning and growth, rather than viewing failures as setbacks.
- By fully understanding the critical voice through experimentation, one can ultimately overcome its negative influence.
Understanding and embracing emotions
- Emotions are the foundation of decision-making. The emotional center of the brain is where decisions are made, and logic is used to justify those decisions.
- Emotional limitations restrict choices and opportunities. When individuals suppress or avoid certain emotions, they limit their ability to make choices that align with their true desires and values. This can lead to feeling stuck or overwhelmed.
- Emotional abuse can lead to emotional numbness. When individuals are repeatedly told that certain emotions are unacceptable or punished for expressing them, they may learn to suppress those emotions, leading to difficulty identifying and experiencing them.
- The goal is to achieve emotional fluidity. The ideal state is to allow emotions to flow freely without resistance or suppression. This allows for a more balanced and authentic expression of emotions, leading to better decision-making and a more fulfilling life.
The importance of emotional fluidity
- Emotional fluidity is about welcoming and experiencing emotions without judgment. This means not attaching to or judging emotions, but rather allowing them to flow through you.
- Emotions are like children in your house. If you welcome them with open arms, they will feel comfortable and safe. However, if you are non-judgmental but not welcoming, they may not feel comfortable.
- Emotions need to be felt and expressed. Holding emotions in can lead to physical tension and discomfort. Expressing emotions through movement, sound, or other means can help release them and promote emotional fluidity.
- Emotional inquiry is a practice that involves exploring emotions through a series of experiments. This involves observing, feeling, and experiencing the emotion in your body.
- Emotional fluidity is a lifelong practice. It takes time and effort to develop the ability to welcome and express emotions in a healthy way.
Questioning assumptions and self-perception
- People often misidentify their problems. They may focus on a perceived weakness, like imposter syndrome, when the real issue lies elsewhere. This is because they are living in a story about themselves that is outdated or inaccurate.
- People often resist compliments. This is a sign that they don't fully accept their own identity and would rather deny the compliment than embrace it. This prevents them from seeing themselves clearly and leads to a constant need for validation.
- Questioning assumptions can help people see through their stories. Many problems are based on assumptions that are not necessarily true. By challenging these assumptions, people can often see that the problem is not as real as they thought.
- Shame can perpetuate bad habits. When people are ashamed of a trait or behavior, they may resist changing it. By accepting the trait or behavior without shame, people can often overcome it more easily.
The consequences of avoiding emotions
- Avoiding emotions can lead to experiencing them more intensely. When individuals try to avoid certain emotions, they often end up creating situations that trigger those very emotions. For example, a conflict-avoidant executive might create a tense work environment by avoiding conflict, ultimately feeling more out of control.
- The root of many problems lies in the emotions we try to avoid. By understanding the underlying emotion we are trying to avoid, we can identify the behaviors that contribute to the problem. For instance, someone constantly arguing might be trying to avoid feeling ashamed, and their defensive behavior might be fueling the arguments.
- Accepting and embracing emotions can change our reality. Resisting emotions only strengthens them. By acknowledging and accepting our feelings, we can shift our perspective and create a more positive reality. This involves responding to situations with authenticity and vulnerability rather than defensiveness.
Experimenting with self-improvement
- The text emphasizes the importance of experimentation over simply accepting advice. It suggests that instead of passively listening to advice, individuals should actively test it out and see if it works for them.
- The text highlights that what works for one person may not work for another, and that what works for someone at one point in time may not work for them at another.
- The text uses the example of the advice "you can't control your thoughts" to illustrate how the same advice can be empowering for one person and disempowering for another. It encourages individuals to experiment and discover what is true for them in their own unique context.
Understanding efficiency and enjoyment
- Enjoyment is a powerful tool for productivity and living a meaningful life. It is argued that enjoyment is more efficient than simply completing tasks quickly, as it leads to greater energy, enthusiasm, and a desire to continue.
- Enjoyment is linked to higher quality and longer-lasting results. When individuals enjoy an activity, they are more likely to engage in it for longer periods and produce higher-quality outcomes.
- Enjoyment is a choice and can be cultivated in any activity. It is not about avoiding unpleasant tasks but rather finding ways to appreciate and engage with them. Even mundane activities can be enjoyed by making small adjustments, such as taking a deeper breath or relaxing the body.
- Embracing negative emotions is essential for genuine enjoyment. Forcing oneself to be constantly joyful is not sustainable or healthy. It is important to acknowledge and process all emotions, including negative ones, to experience true enjoyment.
The power of enjoyment in daily tasks
- It is more powerful to learn to enjoy the tasks you are currently doing than to find tasks you only enjoy.
- If you learn to enjoy the tasks you are currently doing, you are more likely to do the things you enjoy.
- Trying to arrange a life of only enjoyable tasks does not work, even for those with significant resources.
- Learning to enjoy the tasks you are currently doing makes you more effective and more likely to do the things you enjoy.
- If you only do the things you enjoy, you will not learn how to enjoy the tasks you are currently doing.
Innate enjoyment vs. learned enjoyment
- The text discusses the difference between innate enjoyment and learned enjoyment.
- It suggests that asking oneself "How can I enjoy this 10% more?" can help shift one's perspective from trying to change external circumstances to finding internal ways to experience more enjoyment.
- The text emphasizes that trying to force enjoyment often leads to less enjoyment, while letting go of trying can create more enjoyment.
- It also suggests that using the word "should" can create a sense of stagnation and make it less likely to try something new, while using phrases like "I want to" or "here's an experiment I can do" can lead to more movement and action.
Authenticity vs. self-improvement
- Authenticity is a natural process of evolution. Just as an oak tree grows and changes over time, humans naturally evolve and grow. Focusing on self-improvement can hinder this natural process, creating a sense of stagnation and shame.
- Authenticity allows for a more natural flow of life. When individuals act from their authentic selves, they experience a greater sense of ease and flow, leading to faster progress and success.
- Authenticity leads to a life that aligns with one's true self. When individuals live according to their authentic selves, they attract experiences, relationships, and opportunities that are truly aligned with who they are. This can lead to greater fulfillment and success in the long run.
Embracing emotional experiences
- The text discusses the importance of embracing emotional experiences and focusing on "wants" rather than "shoulds" in personal development. It argues that focusing on improvement can hinder growth, as it implies a sense of being broken or inadequate. Instead, exploring and understanding emotions and desires can lead to natural evolution and growth.
- The text emphasizes the idea that understanding a problem can lead to its resolution. It suggests that spending time exploring and understanding a problem, rather than focusing on solutions, can lead to a more natural and efficient resolution. This is compared to the "Strickland principle," which states that problems solve themselves with enough attention.
- The text encourages a mindset of curiosity and experimentation when approaching personal development. It suggests that asking questions and exploring different perspectives can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and a more efficient path to growth. This approach is contrasted with a more rigid and prescriptive approach to self-improvement, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure.
How understanding your emotions helps you make better decisions
- Understanding and embracing emotions can lead to better decision-making. When individuals are willing to experience and accept all emotions, including negative ones, they gain a wider range of potential solutions and perspectives. This is particularly important in situations requiring collaboration and teamwork, as conflict and tension are inevitable.
- Developing a set of personal principles can guide decision-making. By identifying and living by a small number of core principles, individuals can create a framework for making choices that align with their values and goals. This can lead to more consistent and effective decision-making, even in challenging situations.
- The process of creating personal principles involves experimentation and refinement. It is recommended to start with a small number of principles (five or fewer) and test them for a period of time. Individuals should then refine and adjust their principles based on their experiences and observations. This iterative process allows for the development of a set of principles that are truly effective and meaningful.
Creating effective teams and meetings
- Meetings are the atomic structure of a company. The way meetings are conducted and decisions are made directly impacts the company's success.
- Five-Star Meetings are essential for effective teams. Every meeting should be enjoyable and productive, leaving participants feeling energized and motivated.
- Five-Star Meetings reveal company problems. When meetings are not enjoyable, it indicates underlying issues that need to be addressed.
- Team culture is a leading indicator of success. A positive team culture is essential for achieving goals and can be measured through surveys and other methods.
- CEOs often underestimate their influence on team culture. CEOs have a significant impact on team culture, and small changes in their behavior can have a big impact on team morale and performance.
Gratitude practice for personal growth
- The text recommends a daily gratitude practice of seven minutes with another person. This practice involves expressing gratitude for anything in one's life, focusing on the feeling of gratitude rather than simply listing things one is grateful for.
- The speaker suggests that after a couple of weeks of practicing gratitude for general things, one should focus on areas where they feel a lack. This is where the "superpower" of gratitude comes in.
- The speaker shares a personal anecdote about how practicing gratitude for what he had, even when he was struggling financially, led to a significant shift in his financial situation. He realized that focusing on what he lacked kept him in a state of lack, while focusing on what he had allowed him to attract abundance.
- The speaker emphasizes that this practice can be applied to any area of life where one feels a lack, such as time, love, or money.
- The speaker continues to practice gratitude daily, finding it to be a valuable and enjoyable experience.
Conclusion and final thoughts
- The speaker recommends that listeners explore the "Art of Accomplishment" podcast and website for courses and experiments.
- The speaker emphasizes that the courses are designed to be experiential and focus on personal growth through direct experimentation.
- The speaker encourages listeners to participate in free workshops to experience the unique approach of the courses.
- The speaker suggests that listeners can help by discovering their true selves and sharing that knowledge with future generations, creating a better world for their children and grandchildren.