Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy - Dry Creek Dewayne (4K)

Dewayne’s Work & Background (0s)

• Dewayne's work involves teaching people horsemanship and the basic fundamentals of working with horses, which serves as a springboard for life lessons (4s).
• He started a YouTube channel to share horsemanship tips, which gained popularity and led to the creation of a school where people can learn from him in person (29s).
• The school's primary focus is on teaching horsemanship, but it also aims to help young people develop a more grounded and solid approach to life (58s).
• As a child, Dewayne wanted to be a cowboy, and unlike many others, he never lost interest in this career path (1m10s).
• Dewayne grew up in a close-knit, country, patriarchal family with a Baptist preacher as a father, and his family moved frequently due to his father's work (1m45s).
• Although Dewayne didn't grow up on a farm or ranch, he would visit his grandparents in Kentucky, where he developed his passion for the cowboy lifestyle (2m0s).
• Dewayne's family is from Central Kentucky, with his family being the seventh generation born there, and his upbringing was influenced by his family's traditional values (1m37s).
• Dewayne's family thinks he is different, and as a young man, he struggled with a bad temper and stress, but he has since found self-control and learned to manage his emotions (2m39s).
• It has taken Dewayne's family time to adjust to the changes in his personality, and they are still trying to reconcile the old him with the new him (3m13s).

How Dewayne Became a Cowboy (3m45s)

• Dewayne became a cowboy after being unhappy with his job at a furniture factory in Alpine, Tennessee, where he worked in shipping at the age of 26 (4m10s).
• He was inspired by an ad in Western Horsemen magazine about an elk hunting lodge in Idaho that offered free training in packing if he worked for the summer for free (4m24s).
• Dewayne decided to take the opportunity, sold everything he had, and took a Greyhound bus to Idaho, where he hitchhiked to Chalice, Idaho, after being left stranded (5m7s).
• He eventually found a payphone and called the ranch, but the manager was unaware of his arrival, as the owner was rafting the Colorado River and had not informed him (5m23s).
• The owner eventually picked Dewayne up, and he stayed on the ranch for the summer, learning new skills (5m34s).
• After leaving the ranch, Dewayne hitchhiked to Cody, Wyoming, where he had only $9 and stayed at a campground that cost $6 per night (5m52s).
• He spent his days calling various ranches and outfits, looking for work, and eventually ran out of money (6m16s).
• The owner of the campground offered Dewayne work in exchange for food and lodging, and he helped haul hay for $15 (6m26s).
• Dewayne eventually found work with an outfit and threw his belongings into their truck, starting his new life as a cowboy (6m50s).
• During this time, Dewayne was away from his wife and infant child for several months, which he does not recommend (7m4s).
• The separation was difficult, but it also gave Dewayne and his wife time to settle their differences, and they were eventually reunited (8m24s).
• Dewayne's wife has been supportive of his restless nature and has encouraged him to pursue his passions, which has contributed to their 34-year marriage (8m47s).

What Settled Dewayne Down? (9m15s)

• A turning point in life came when a realization was made that the current path being followed was not desirable, and a change was needed to avoid spending the next 50 years in the same state, as the current self was not likable, and neither was it liked by others around (9m30s).
• A small heart attack served as a catalyst for change, making it clear that the current lifestyle was unsustainable, and it was necessary to make some decisions to alter the course of life (9m57s).
• The decision was made to remove negative influences from life, including people, the news, and unhealthy habits, and to focus on more positive pursuits, such as reading and spending time in nature (11m4s).
• A return to reading, particularly poetry and the works of Marcus Aurelius, helped to regain perspective and find a more hopeful outlook on life (11m30s).
• The realization was made that anger is not beneficial and does not solve problems, but rather leads to losing control and making poor decisions (11m55s).
• Working with horses taught the importance of self-awareness and emotional control, as horses can detect and reflect the emotional state of those around them (12m31s).
• The influence of Buck Brannaman, a horseman, was significant in understanding that horses are a mirror of oneself, and problems with horses are a reflection of internal issues (13m27s).
• Learning to calm oneself for the sake of working with horses was a valuable lesson that should have been applied to personal relationships earlier in life (14m10s).
• Sometimes, it is necessary to take a step back and acknowledge that one is not in a good place, and it is better to wait and try again another day rather than risking making a mess (14m41s).
• The biggest victory can be simply not making a mess, and it is essential to recognize and appreciate these small wins (15m10s).

The Beauty of Mundane Successes (15m19s)

• Mundane successes, or small personal victories achieved in private, are often overlooked but are important and should be acknowledged, such as being gentle with someone when frustrated or not messing up another horse's day (15m19s).
• These small victories can be seen as a form of "language" that should be appreciated and recognized, even if no one else acknowledges them (15m48s).
• The concept of appreciating small victories can be compared to math, where progress from a negative state to a positive one is still a victory, even if it's not a major one (16m25s).
• Avoiding negative actions or outcomes can be just as important as achieving positive ones, and recognizing this can be a form of wisdom (17m32s).
• The idea of "Never multiply by zero" from mathematics can be applied to life, where one mistake can negate all progress, such as driving without a seatbelt and getting into a wreck (18m13s).
• Much of life is about avoiding pitfalls rather than expediting successes, as pitfalls can have catastrophic consequences that take a long time to recover from (18m48s).
• Being averse to risk can be seen as being clever about risk, knowing where to take risks with limited downside rather than unlimited downside (19m3s).
• Working with horses requires a similar approach, where knowing how to handle and ride a horse safely is crucial, and recognizing the limitations of a horse's training is important (19m11s).
• A horse was brought to a place and the people working with it were advised to move calmly and slowly because horses are prey animals (19m38s).
• The horse was startled when a water bottle was pulled out of a saddle bag and crinkled, despite the people working with it moving slowly and easily (20m7s).
• After trying various supplements, a particular product called AG1 was found to be the best due to its comprehensive and rigorously formulated blend of 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food-sourced ingredients (20m41s).
• AG1 contains a multivitamin, pre and probiotic, green superfood blend, and other ingredients that work together to fill nutritional gaps, increase energy and focus, and aid digestion (20m55s).
• AG1 offers a 90-day money-back guarantee, allowing customers to try the product for three months risk-free (21m5s).
• A special Black Friday offer is available, which includes a year's free supply of vitamin D3 K2, five free AG1 travel packs, and a free bonus gift for customers who purchase through the link in the description (21m18s).

The Main Thing Humans Get Wrong (21m38s)

• Humans have a weakness in communication, which is a complex issue that is often underestimated, as seen in relationships between humans and horses, where communication is crucial for a successful partnership (21m39s).
• Horses and humans have a communication barrier, as horses do not speak English and humans do not speak the horse's language, which is non-verbal and based on movement and body language (22m22s).
• Humans are predator animals, designed to eat meat, with eyes side by side on the front of their face, while horses are prey animals with a different instinct, always aware of potential threats (22m53s).
• To build a communication with horses, humans need to learn to think like they do and move into their world, understanding their instincts and behaviors (23m43s).
• Communication is essential in any relationship, as seen in human relationships, where 34 years of marriage would not be possible without effective communication, and similarly, humans need to communicate effectively with horses (24m18s).
• Being around horses can provide an external barometer for what's going on, allowing humans to reflect on their own behavior and communication style (24m29s).
• Equine therapy, which involves caring for horses and treating their hooves, can be a humbling and embarrassing experience, especially when working with large and powerful animals (24m45s).
• When working with horses, it's essential to make them feel comfortable and secure, using tools and body language to communicate effectively and avoid accidents (25m21s).
• When interacting with horses, it's essential to feel relaxed and make the horse comfortable, as they can sense human emotions and react accordingly (25m46s).
• A person's self-worth should not be dependent on external factors, such as whether a horse likes or accepts them, as this can lead to outsourcing one's self-esteem and derogation of self-worth (26m10s).
• Horses can serve as a reflection of human behavior, making it difficult to hide one's true emotions, and can help people learn about themselves and their sense of self-worth (27m3s).
• Some individuals, including the speaker, tend to see other people's emotional states as their responsibility and feel compelled to fix them, which can be a noble act but also a compulsion that stems from a sense of obligation (28m25s).
• Helping others should be a choice, not a compulsion, and should not be motivated by a desire for personal gain, such as feeling better or gaining respect, as this can make the act unvirtuous (28m46s).
• Empathy is a key factor in helping others, and it's essential to distinguish between genuine empathy and self-serving motivations (29m20s).

Learning Important Lessons From Horses (29m30s)

• A retired barrel racing horse named Mayor from Texas taught valuable lessons about stepping outside of the norm of physically controlling something with mental or emotional issues (29m52s).
• Mayor's go-to response to being disturbed was to run, and this behavior couldn't be physically stopped, requiring a different approach to calm her down (30m14s).
• To calm Mayor down, a simple technique was used where light pressure was applied to get her to tip her nose, creating a signal that would calm her down when she got anxious (31m14s).
• Working with Mayor for the summer led to huge strides in personal growth, learning to step outside of the norm of trying to physically control something that isn't (31m45s).
• A first-time horse riding experience in Texas involved riding a strong horse that didn't respond to initial gentle or strong pulls on the reins, highlighting the importance of understanding horse behavior (32m1s).
• The experience taught that physically controlling a horse's body without having its mind can lead to the horse reverting to its original behavior when given the chance (33m21s).
• The goal when working with horses is to get their mind, not just their body, as having their mind leads to more effective and lasting results (33m33s).
• When working with horses, it's essential to communicate effectively and make the horse decide it's in their best interest to follow instructions, rather than physically forcing them, which can be seen as belligerent and abusive (34m17s).
• To achieve this, one must get into the horse's mind and work with them in a manner that encourages cooperation, rather than trying to browbeat or nag them into submission (34m22s).
• A cardinal sin when working with horses is when they walk off while the rider is trying to mount, as this indicates a difference of opinion between the horse and rider (35m0s).
• To address this issue, the rider should not physically hold the horse back, but instead, make the horse walk in a circle around them several times, allowing the horse to realize that walking off is not the desired behavior (35m35s).
• This approach is based on the principle of letting the horse decide what they want to do, but in a controlled manner, and then making them realize that standing still is the better option (35m48s).
• Apologizing to a horse is not about the horse's feelings, but rather about the rider's own actions and acknowledging their mistakes, as horses do not take things personally (36m36s).
• When a rider apologizes to a horse, it's for their own sake, to acknowledge their fault and learn from their mistakes, rather than expecting the horse to understand or respond to the apology (36m43s).
• Apologizing to a horse is a way to humble oneself and acknowledge mistakes, and the horse doesn't want an apology but rather for the rider to learn from the mistake and not repeat it (37m26s).
• Working with horses has taught valuable lessons about patience and humility (37m35s).
• As one gets older, physical limitations become more apparent, and it's necessary to approach challenges in a better way, rather than relying on physical strength to win fights (38m0s).
• Physical limitations can include injuries and wear and tear, such as having plates and screws in the neck and joints being out of shape (37m51s).
• Age and experience can lead to a shift in approach, from relying on physical strength to finding alternative ways to resolve conflicts and challenges (38m2s).

Dewayne’s Close Shaves With Death (38m8s)

• A plane crash occurred while flying out of Fort Yukon, Alaska, above the Arctic Circle, due to a crosswind during landing, causing the plane to flip and ground loop on the runway with various items inside, including a 100 lb propane tank and a transmission from a half-ton Chevy van, but no one was hit by the flying objects (38m15s).
• The plane's passengers, including the individual, had to stand on the runway in 30 below zero temperatures, waiting for the FAA to inspect the plane, and later pushed the plane off the runway (39m49s).
• The individual had to catch two more flights that day to get back home (40m1s).
• A motor home accident occurred when the driver, who was distracted by arguing teenagers, drove off a narrow road on a mountain, sliding down and hitting trees, but the motor home did not roll (40m5s).
• The individual has been bucked off horses multiple times, resulting in bruises and landing in various places, but has since stopped riding bucking horses due to the accumulation of life experiences and the risk of injury (40m40s).
• During a police academy training session, the individual performed a backwards tactical roll, which caused something to pop in their neck, leading to a severe spinal cord injury that was nearly severed, and they were taken to the hospital by ambulance (40m58s).
• The individual no longer rides bucking horses, as they can tell when a horse is likely to be uncooperative and do not feel the need to prove themselves (41m57s).

The Danger of Being Out of Balance (43m20s)

• Raising children requires balance, as being too strict or too lenient can lead to issues, much like holding a wet bar of soap - if you squeeze it too tight, it slips out of your hands, and if you don't hold it tight enough, it slides out (43m35s).
• Similarly, marriage problems often stem from being out of balance, with one partner being too distant or too clingy, too demanding or too permissive, and lacking personal boundaries (44m3s).
• The trend of hustle culture in the men's motivation circle is seen as out of balance, as it emphasizes constant productivity and activity, making young men feel guilty for taking time to relax and think (44m34s).
• A balance is needed between working and taking time to relax, think, and meditate, as constantly being on the go without reflection can be detrimental (44m53s).
• The pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction, from young men not being raised to work to now feeling guilty for taking time to relax and think (45m42s).
• A balance is necessary, where a man can work to improve himself and also take time to relax and enjoy life, such as reading and spending time by the fire (45m57s).
• Type A people, who are often high-achievers, need to learn how to relax and chill out, while type B people, who are often more laid-back, need to learn how to work harder and be more disciplined (46m20s).
• Type A people with a type B problem, who struggle with anxiety and overachievement, often receive little sympathy, as their outward success makes their struggles seem less significant (46m45s).
• The problems of type A individuals, who struggle with overachievement, are often seen as a choice, rather than a limitation, and are therefore viewed as less deserving of sympathy (47m3s).
• The need to learn how to be disciplined and work harder is seen as noble and upward-aiming, while the need to learn how to relax and switch off is seen as less desirable (47m12s).
• Many people are addicted to the idea of being constantly productive and successful, feeling like they're never doing enough, and waking up every morning with the sense that they've already fallen behind, which can lead to misery despite outward success (47m22s).
• The advice to "just work harder" is often given as a solution to problems, but it's not a purpose-built tool and may not be suitable for everyone, particularly those who need to hear the opposite message and find balance in their lives (48m1s).
• Some people, often referred to as "type B," face problems that are just as tough as those faced by "type A" individuals, but their solutions require a less sexy approach that can't be achieved by simply working harder (48m35s).
• The definition of the "main thing" in life can vary greatly from person to person, and it's essential to define it correctly to avoid burnout and find balance (49m12s).
• The speaker sees himself as the "anti-David Goggins," recognizing that Goggins' message is needed in some places, but not for everyone, and that balance is more important than constant hard work and striving for perfection (49m32s).
• The speaker is critical of financial gurus who prioritize physical appearance, such as having a six-pack, over finding balance and inner fulfillment in life (50m3s).
• The ultimate goal should be to help men find balance and inner peace, rather than just accumulating wealth or achieving physical perfection, and to help them define their "main thing" in life and find contentment with it (50m44s).

Men Aren’t Born to Make Money (50m57s)

• Men are born to serve, not born to make money, meaning that making money is ultimately for personal gain, but serving others can have a more profound impact on the world (50m59s).
• Serving others means providing for those in one's sphere of influence, protecting, encouraging, teaching, and training, and sometimes stepping back to let them learn from their mistakes (52m12s).
• A real man is born to serve and make the world a better place, and this can be achieved through small actions, such as showing kindness to strangers or providing for one's family (52m12s).
• Spending one's whole life focused solely on personal gain can lead to a lack of purpose, and a good man is one who leaves the world a better place than when they entered it (52m51s).
• A good man is someone who can protect, provide, serve, comfort, reprimand, and discipline, making the world a better place through their actions (54m2s).
• Small actions, such as showing kindness to strangers, can have a significant impact on someone's life and make the world a better place (53m26s).
• Leaving a place or a person's life better than when you found it is a key aspect of being a good man, and this can be achieved through various actions, such as providing for one's family or showing kindness to strangers (53m20s).

How Emotional Should Men Be? (55m20s)

• There is a balance that men struggle with between strength and softness, rationality and emotionality, and rigidity and vulnerability, which can be debilitating to those around them if not addressed (55m22s).
• This balance can be distorted by the male ability to deny that things are wrong, whether physical or emotional, and can lead to toxic behavior if bottled up inside (55m51s).
• Finding this balance is crucial, but it can vary from person to person, and what works for one man may not work for another (58m3s).
• While seeking help for mental health and emotional issues is important, it's also important not to become too weak or reliant on external help, and to find a balance that works for each individual (58m40s).
• The idea that men need to be tough and not show emotions is an old-school way of thinking, but it's also important not to swing too far in the other direction and become overly reliant on therapy or external help (57m32s).
• Everyone's balance is different, and what's important is finding a balance that works for each individual, rather than trying to fit into a one-size-fits-all approach (59m17s).
• The conversation around men's mental health and emotional well-being needs to be nuanced and take into account the complexities of individual experiences, rather than relying on simplistic solutions or approaches (59m42s).
• Different people can achieve success in their respective fields with varying approaches, as seen in the examples of tennis players Nadal, Djokovic, and Federer, who have all won titles despite having distinct styles and personalities (1h0m15s).
• The message that one must prioritize their internal state over external responsibilities has swung too far, and it's essential to find a balance between the two, as solely focusing on internal state can lead to neglect of external responsibilities (1h1m10s).
• The "just go harder" approach can be detrimental to one's health and well-being, and it's crucial to find a balance that works for each individual, rather than following a one-size-fits-all approach (1h1m40s).
• Finding balance comes with age, learning oneself, and experience, as well as understanding how one felt in similar situations in the past and trying to improve (1h2m15s).
• For young men who don't have the benefit of age and experience, it's essential to check in with themselves and not treat their first response as always the correct one, as their immediate reflex may not be the best way to deal with things (1h2m50s).
• It's crucial to question one's thoughts and motivations, asking "why" and evaluating the purpose behind their actions, rather than blindly following a particular approach or ideology (1h3m51s).
• By asking "why" and evaluating their motivations, individuals can determine what they need to do to become the person they need to be for themselves and those around them (1h4m16s).
• Feeling overwhelmed and losing balance in life can lead to losing focus on what truly matters, causing one to become hard to live with, especially for loved ones and those they are responsible for (1h4m37s).
• The pursuit of personal goals, such as increasing weightlifting capacity from 180 lb to 200 lb, may feed one's ego but does not necessarily make them a better person for those around them (1h5m3s).
• Spending quality time with family, such as playing in the backyard with kids, can provide a more meaningful answer to the question of why one should make certain choices in life (1h5m21s).
• Recognizing the importance of prioritizing time with loved ones can be a valuable lesson, especially for young men with limited experience (1h5m35s).

Having a Better Relationship With Yourself (1h5m40s)

• A blend of real introspection, accepting one's flaws, and an old-school mentality of taking action is necessary for personal growth and achieving things in life (1h5m40s).
• Many men struggle with being kind to themselves when they fall short of their goals, even if they tried their best, and it's essential to develop a better relationship with oneself and be kinder when things go badly (1h5m53s).
• To achieve this, one must learn to like themselves, including their flaws and weaknesses, and give themselves the same grace they would offer to a friend (1h6m27s).
• Arrogance is different from self-acceptance, and it's essential to distinguish between the two, as arrogance is pride mixed with ignorance (1h7m15s).
• It's crucial to acknowledge one's failures and successes, and to try to maintain a balance between the two, rather than being overly self-critical (1h7m23s).
• Many people struggle to show themselves the same care and love they would offer to others, and statistics show that people are more likely to complete a course of antibiotics for their pets than for themselves (1h8m5s).
• Serving oneself and serving others from a cup that overflows with self-care is essential, and it's a delicate balance between being self-serving and being narcissistic (1h8m32s).
• As people grow older, they tend to develop a more nuanced understanding of life, and advice that worked for one person may not work for another, as evidenced by the caveated advice often given by older individuals like Joe Rogan (1h9m5s).
• Humility comes with age, as people look back on their lives and acknowledge their scars and imperfections, and it's essential to maintain this humility to continue growing and learning (1h9m23s).
• No monetary endeavor is worth risking one's sense of self, as it took years of grief, pain, and work to become the person one is today, and losing that would be too great a cost (1h10m8s).
• When considering new opportunities, it's essential to ask oneself who this will make them be and whether it's worth potentially altering their sense of self (1h10m50s).
• Finding a balance between taking risks and not losing oneself is crucial, as one should not be afraid to try new things, but also not compromise their values and sense of self (1h11m3s).
• The person one spends the most time talking to is oneself, and it's essential to maintain self-respect and not lose it (1h11m39s).
• Accumulating success and status can be empty if one doesn't like themselves, and it's essential to realize when one is built for more and different things (1h11m49s).
• Keeping promises to oneself is vital, and not doing so can lead to a lack of trust and faith in one's abilities (1h12m30s).
• The tiny decisions made every day construct who one is, and it's essential to be mindful of these choices and their impact on one's sense of self (1h13m21s).
• Being kind and gentle with oneself is crucial, just as one would be with others, and acknowledging one's mistakes and flaws is a necessary step in personal growth (1h13m36s).
• Ultimately, one must live with the decisions they make, and finding ways to deal with self-doubt and dislike in a healthy manner is essential (1h14m14s).
• There is a set of scales inside the mind that balances things all the time, and people often struggle with liking themselves, but it's not complicated (1h14m21s).
• To like oneself, one should find someone they genuinely like and figure out what it is about them that they like, then incorporate those qualities into their own life (1h15m34s).
• The qualities that one person likes in another person may not be the same for someone else, as people are wired differently and have different preferences (1h16m20s).
• By taking on the attributes that one likes in another person, they can become a person that they like themselves (1h16m38s).
• Nomatic is a brand that makes high-quality luggage, including a new method carry-on that is engineered to be lighter, stronger, and can hold up to 20% more than other carry-ons (1h14m42s).
• Nomatic's products come with a lifetime guarantee and can be returned or exchanged within 30 days for any reason, and a 20% discount is available through a link in the description (1h15m21s).
• The Nomatic website can be found at n m a t i c .com (1h15m28s).

Advice For People Who Struggle Socially (1h16m47s)

• Feeling nervous when talking to people and wanting others to like you can stem from childhood experiences, such as being unpopular, bullied, or having low self-esteem, and can lead to a desire to be impressive or charismatic in social situations (1h16m48s).
• However, it's more important to make others feel interesting and valued rather than trying to be impressive, as people are more drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves (1h17m45s).
• A story about Winston Churchill's wife meeting two US president candidates illustrates this point, as she felt like the smartest woman in the world after talking to one of them, but not after talking to the other (1h18m19s).
• It's easier to make someone else feel interesting than to be interesting oneself, and this approach can be more effective in building connections with others (1h18m46s).
• For individuals who struggle socially, becoming the person they want to be around can be a key step in building confidence and self-worth, rather than relying on others for validation (1h19m34s).
• When someone has low self-esteem, they may outsource their self-worth to others, leading to desperation and neediness, which can make them less likable to others (1h20m27s).
• Developing as a person and working on one's own issues can make one more relatable and attractive to others, as people can see bits of themselves in others (1h21m2s).
• The journey of personal growth and self-improvement can be a powerful way to connect with others and build meaningful relationships (1h21m8s).
• There is a need for positive role models and surrogate patriarchs, particularly for men, due to the crisis of masculinity and the epidemic of fatherlessness (1h22m8s).

What Are the Problems Men Are Facing? (1h22m21s)

• The main problems men are facing include relationships, understanding how to treat women, and communication, with many young men not having been taught by another man how to treat a lady and instead getting their information from Hollywood, leading to a lack of understanding of relationships and communication (1h22m29s).
• Men are often confused about how to balance being a man and being kind, with many not understanding the difference between being kind and being a tyrant, and are often influenced by extremes such as Andrew Tate or "milk soop" (1h23m31s).
• The biggest problem men are facing is relationships, with many not knowing how to treat a lady or understand them (1h23m54s).
• Advice for young guys on how to treat a lady better and understand them includes treating them like they're special, communicating with them, and listening to them (1h24m10s).
• Treating women like they're special means recognizing their unique value and not trying to make them equal to men, but rather appreciating their differences (1h24m32s).
• Communicating with women involves sitting down and gently asking for clarification when confused, and listening to them without trying to fix their problems (1h25m7s).
• Women often just want someone to listen to them and help them process their thoughts and emotions (1h25m29s).
• A quote from Timothy Leary suggests that women who aspire to be equal with men lack ambition, and that women should be treated as special, not equal (1h26m0s).
• Men often carry burdens and emotions that they don't know how to express, and wish that women understood this and showed gratitude for the burdens they carry (1h26m38s).
• Many solutions to men's problems involve telling them to act less like men, but men should be treated like "work in progress" men, not defective women (1h27m36s).
• Men don't need therapy to deal with their burdens, but rather recognition and gratitude from those they care about (1h28m4s).

How Vulnerable Should Men Be in a Relationship? (1h28m41s)

• Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, especially among men, and can be a significant obstacle to open communication in relationships (1h28m43s).
• Instead of being vulnerable, men can communicate their needs and concerns without appearing weak by expressing their feelings in a non-confrontational manner (1h29m39s).
• Effective communication involves being transparent and honest about one's emotions and needs without being aggressive or passive-aggressive (1h31m54s).
• The tone used in communication is just as important as the message itself, and a loving or respectful tone can make a significant difference in how the message is received (1h32m37s).
• People often respond more to the tone of the message than the actual words, and a belligerent or aggressive tone can overshadow the intended message (1h32m50s).
• Communicating effectively in a relationship involves finding a balance between expressing one's needs and being respectful of the other person's feelings (1h31m22s).
• Providing for one's partner and family is not enough; emotional support and understanding are also essential for a healthy relationship (1h31m12s).
• Men can communicate their emotional needs without appearing vulnerable by framing their message as a need for understanding and support rather than a weakness (1h30m47s).
• Effective communication in relationships requires a willingness to listen and understand each other's perspectives and needs (1h31m45s).
• The importance of fatherhood is a crucial aspect of society, as it is the foundation upon which families, churches, and ultimately, the country are built (1h33m1s).
• The concept of fatherhood is rooted in biblical teachings, where God created man and gave him a work, a woman to help him, and a set of rules to follow, which eventually led to the formation of marriages, families, and governments (1h33m18s).
• The strength of a country is directly tied to the strength of its churches, which in turn is dependent on the strength of the families that make up those churches, and those families are only as strong as the marriages they are built on (1h34m21s).
• The marriage is only as strong as the man that God built it on, and as the man goes, so goes the marriage, family, church, and ultimately, the country (1h34m50s).
• The failure of fathers and husbands to be good examples, leaders, disciplinarians, and providers has contributed to the decline of society (1h35m8s).
• Being a good father and husband requires making tough decisions, even if it means being the "bad guy," in order to ensure the long-term strength and safety of the family (1h35m32s).
• The next generation will be shaped by the values and principles instilled in them by their fathers, and the future of society will depend on the quality of fatherhood (1h36m21s).
• Fatherhood is paramount for the future of society, and its importance cannot be overstated (1h36m52s).

What Dewayne Did When His Daughters Started Dating (1h37m1s)

• The father did not allow his daughters to date until they were in their late teens, and when they started dating, he would grill the potential suitors to assess their character and intentions (1h37m4s).
• The potential suitors had to come to him and ask for permission to date his daughters, and he would often reject them, telling them to grow up and become a man before pursuing a relationship with his daughter (1h37m17s).
• Two of his son-in-laws had to wait for years before he gave his approval, as he wanted to see what kind of man they would become and ensure they were not just "boys" who would never grow up (1h37m58s).
• The daughters appreciated having a father who was looking out for their entire future and not just their current feelings, and they knew he was protecting them from potential heartache (1h38m42s).
• The father had a unique way of intimidating potential suitors, including pulling out a large knife during a meeting with one of them to make a point (1h39m5s).
• He has told each of his son-in-laws that if they ever hurt his daughters, they will face severe consequences, and he has made it clear that he will always be there to protect them (1h39m30s).
• The father believes that his approach is not about being a tyrant or controlling his daughters' lives, but rather about loving them and wanting the best for them, and he has given them the freedom to make their own decisions as adults (1h40m47s).
• He respects his children's independence and does not interfere in their decisions or the way they raise their own children, but they know that he is always watching from a distance and will intervene if necessary (1h41m13s).

Biggest Lessons Dewayne Taught His Kids (1h41m41s)

• The most important lessons taught to kids include keeping their word, not lying, and being respectful to others, especially elders, regardless of their behavior. (1h41m41s)
• A deal was made in the house where breaking a rule would result in a set penalty, and lying about it would double the penalty. (1h42m1s)
• One of the rules was not hitting girls, and if a child hit their sister, they would receive a severe penalty, which was 15 licks, but if they lied about it, the penalty would be doubled to 30 licks, resulting in a total of 45 licks. (1h42m48s)
• A man's most valuable resource is his good name, and lying can damage it, so it's essential to be honest and speak the truth, even if it's to one's harm or detriment. (1h43m31s)
• Being respectful to others, especially elders, is crucial, as their position earns respect, regardless of their behavior. (1h43m43s)
• Having seven kids was not easy, and during some years, the income was as low as $6,000 to $18,000, but the family managed by working hard, having two jobs, and being very frugal. (1h44m15s)
• The key to affording a large family is saying no to unnecessary expenses, such as eating out, satellite TV, and expensive clothing, and instead, finding ways to save money, like cooking at home and not having a car payment. (1h45m15s)
• Living within one's means is crucial, and it's amazing how little one actually needs; a mobile home with a $300 monthly rent was sufficient for a family of five, including the speaker, their wife, and three children (1h45m56s).
• The truly wealthy often don't show off their wealth, instead choosing to drive modest cars like Toyotas or Hondas, as observed in Austin, where the richest people drive the simplest cars (1h46m52s).
• To break the cycle of materialism, one should start by adopting a simpler lifestyle, such as driving a modest car, and learn from older people who have gained wisdom and understanding with age (1h47m0s).
• It's essential to realize that with age comes wisdom and understanding, and one can speed up their personal growth by learning from others who have already gained that wisdom (1h47m35s).
• Famous people like Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos are examples of individuals who live modestly despite their wealth, with Buffett living in a small brick ranch house and Zuckerberg dressing in casual attire (1h47m50s).
• The speaker's role models include their father, who was an honest man, and a cowboy from Kansas who worked with the speaker and had a significant impact on their life (1h48m48s).
• The speaker's father was the most honest person they've ever met, and his influence has had a lasting impact on the speaker's life, particularly in terms of leaving the world a better place than they found it (1h49m15s).
• A father's goal should be for their son to look up to them as a role model, and the speaker believes that their father did a good job in this regard (1h49m50s).
• A man's self-worth and respect from others are more important than wealth or fame, as being known as an honest and respectable person is a significant achievement when leaving this world (1h50m7s).
• Being respected in one's field is a notable accomplishment, and it is something that a person can be proud of (1h50m12s).
• Having the respect of others, even if not everyone likes you, is a valuable trait, and other factors such as wealth and fame are less important in comparison (1h50m33s).
• Being true to oneself and being a good person is enough, and it is not necessary to be wealthy or famous to be considered a good person (1h50m9s).

Dewayne’s Ideal Day (1h50m43s)

• An ideal day is described as one that is not affected by external factors, but rather by internalizing the quality of the day, making the most of whatever situation one is in (1h51m50s).
• The concept of having a good day is not dependent on specific circumstances, but rather on one's mindset, as stated by the phrase "if you can have a bad day for no reason, then you can have a good day for no reason" (1h52m35s).
• A personal example of an ideal day is shared, where a day spent doing simple activities such as visiting a cigar lounge, talking to friends, and having a good meal is considered a really good day, regardless of accomplishments or external factors (1h52m41s).
• The idea is that one can make good days out of whatever they have, without needing to architect or plan a specific day, and that getting to this place in life is a desirable state (1h53m53s).
• The importance of being present and making the most of one's current situation is emphasized, as illustrated by the example of having a good day despite not being able to engage in usual activities such as horse riding (1h54m0s).
• The conversation concludes with appreciation and admiration for the guest, Dewayne, and his outlook on life, with encouragement for others to check out his YouTube channel and online content (1h54m20s).