Why Being Serious Is A Superpower - Visakan Veerasamy

Why is Being Serious Important? (0s)

• Life is limited, and it's tragic if we don't make the most of it, which is why being serious is important (10s).
• Being serious doesn't mean being stiff and grimaced, but rather a fixation on making progress and improving, which can be expressed through love and curiosity (49s).
• Seriousness is about earnestly pursuing one's goals and interests over a long period, allowing one to sample everything and find what truly matters (59s).
• Having lived through the opposite of being serious, being around unserious people can be unfulfilling, and it's often when being serious that one has a great time (1m22s).
• Being serious involves playfulness and being surrounded by like-minded people, which can produce excellence and a sense of fulfillment (1m49s).
• Finding people who share the same level of seriousness is important, as it allows for a sense of community and shared values (2m21s).
• Seriousness doesn't mean being solemn or rigid, but rather having a dynamic persistence, which involves a sense of humor and the ability to persist over time (3m36s).
• A personal experience at a bachelor party illustrated the importance of being around people who take things seriously, as it allows for a sense of camaraderie and shared purpose (2m30s).
• The concept of seriousness is not about being too serious, but rather about finding a balance between being focused and having a sense of humor (3m44s).
• People tend to naturally gravitate towards those who are similar and away from those who are not, often forming groups based on shared traits or characteristics (4m18s).
• This phenomenon can be observed in various settings, such as social groups or workplaces, where individuals with similar personalities or interests tend to congregate (4m20s).
• The idea that being serious is a virtue is often met with resistance, as those who are more laid-back or non-serious may be perceived as more fun or cool (5m25s).
• However, being serious can be a predisposition or personality trait that is associated with orderliness, conscientiousness, and industriousness (5m49s).
• Individuals who are serious about their work or passions may be seen as weird or unusual, especially when they are starting out, as they may be perceived as taking things too seriously (6m23s).
• The story of Michael B. Jordan's classmate illustrates the challenges of being serious when starting out, as he was seen as a "weird kid" for being so focused on his goals (6m12s).
• The example of Shakespeare's English teacher highlights the potential difficulties of being a serious and driven individual in a social environment that may not support or understand such traits (6m38s).
• The importance of a supportive context and kind words cannot be overstated, as they can help foster the growth and development of individuals with unique talents or passions (7m19s).
• The impact of a supportive environment can be significant, as it can help individuals overcome obstacles and achieve their goals, and it is often underestimated (7m22s).
• Societal structures can be viewed as a sorting algorithm, where individuals who are serious and persistent are more likely to succeed in the long run, as they have overcome numerous obstacles and developed immense strength and capability to manage their psyche (7m52s).
• The idea that serious individuals must overcome resistance from various sources, including family, friends, school, and society, is supported by a quote from an old friend, poet, and writer, B, who stated that a great man must overcome the resistance of millions of people to exist (7m56s).
• In today's world, where there is an abundance of information and numerous people pursuing various endeavors, it is reasonable to dismiss most things, and most people assume that others are not serious, even if they claim to be (8m47s).
• The only way to demonstrate seriousness is through consistent effort and persistence over time, such as continuously shipping products, writing, or showing up year after year (8m56s).
• There is a significant milestone at the seven-year mark, where people's memories are not long enough to recall when an individual or entity first started, making it seem like they have been around forever (9m10s).

How Seriousness Can Cause Cynicism (9m22s)

• There is a distinction between people who appear serious and those who are genuinely serious, with many individuals trying to reap the benefits of being taken seriously without putting in the necessary effort and consistency (9m28s).
• Nobody has everything figured out at the start, and even successful individuals like Obama and Jason Mraz looked nervous and uncertain in their early stages (10m6s).
• People often experience self-doubt and may question their own seriousness, especially when faced with criticism or uncertainty (10m21s).
• There are two clusters of people: those who are uncertain and those who are radically certain of themselves, like Kanye, with the latter group splitting into those who succeed and those who crash and burn (10m41s).
• The desire to be seen as serious, combined with the difficulty of determining someone's legitimacy, can lead to cynicism as a defense mechanism (11m6s).
• Cynicism can be problematic, as it can also defend against positive experiences and opportunities (11m37s).
• It is especially challenging for young people, such as teenagers and those in their early 20s, to navigate this issue, which is why it is essential to focus on cultivating a rigorous approach to examining information and surrounding oneself with serious individuals (11m49s).
• As people get older and more rigorous in their approach, they can develop a social network that helps them distinguish between genuine and fake individuals, making it easier to avoid cynicism (12m7s).
• Steve Jobs' quote about hiring people and creating a self-policing team is relevant, as it highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with serious and like-minded individuals (12m20s).
• If one is not rigorous about their information environment and the people they allow to take up their time and energy, cynicism can become a natural response to the failures and evidence of people being dishonest (12m37s).
• Social media algorithms often prioritize high-arousal emotions, which can lead to people being exposed to negative or disturbing content, similar to someone presenting them with the worst public toilet waste and expecting a reaction (13m25s).
• This can create a distorted view of reality, making it seem like the world is full of conflict and problems when, in fact, most people are just living their lives normally (13m50s).
• Cynicism can be a result of how one curates their information, and it's essential to be aware of the content being consumed and its impact on one's emotions and actions (14m4s).
• It's not necessary to immerse oneself in negative information to be aware of the truth; instead, one should focus on consuming content that inspires action and positivity (14m34s).
• Conducting an audit of one's information consumption, reading materials, and social interactions can help identify and change patterns that contribute to cynicism (14m39s).
• Recognizing that one's reality can be modified by changing what they allow into their life can be a powerful way to overcome cynicism (15m0s).
• As a species, humans are still adapting to the presence of smartphones and the internet, and it takes time to develop healthy norms and protocols for navigating the information environment (15m15s).
• The rapid evolution of technology, including AI, presents a challenge in keeping up with healthy information habits and adapting to new developments (15m58s).

Avoiding Seriousness Burnout (16m7s)

• Longevity and doing things for a long period of time is crucial to being serious, and seriousness is smeared across time (16m8s).
• People who are serious and want to avoid burnout should consider being dynamically persistent and psychologically flexible or robust in managing their own motivation (16m46s).
• One strategy for avoiding burnout is to incorporate "deload" periods, where one continues to work or engage in an activity but at a lesser intensity, allowing for rest and recovery (17m41s).
• This concept of deload is inspired by Mike, also known as the "Renaissance Periodization" guy, who applies it to weightlifting patterns (17m1s).
• Deload periods can help prevent burnout and allow individuals to return to their activities with a healthy perspective (18m36s).
• David Ogilvy, a renowned copywriter and manager, would work hard for months and then take time off to relax and allow his mind to wander, which would help him receive new ideas and inspiration from his subconscious (18m43s).
• Paula Scher, a designer, also values playfulness and relaxation, stating that she can't design anything if she's not in a state of play, and often sketches while in taxi cabs (19m17s).
• Incorporating playfulness and relaxation into one's work or activities can be beneficial for creativity and productivity (19m37s).
• To gain a broader perspective, it's essential to step away from tasks and avoid getting lost in minor details, allowing for a more sensitive approach to one's own rhythms and patterns (19m42s).
• Improving patterns involves tinkering with things, observing how they feel, and using those feelings to guide actions, as stated by Christopher Alexander, a famous architecture thought leader (20m10s).
• Outsourcing judgment and feelings is impossible, even for high-profile individuals like Beyoncé or Taylor Swift, who must still rely on their own feelings to make decisions (20m35s).
• Practicing time away from tasks and being sensitive to one's own rhythms can help develop a better sense of judgment and feeling (21m19s).
• Netflix's "chaos monkeys" concept, which involves programming random failures to test robustness, can be applied to life, where unexpected challenges and surprises are inevitable (21m27s).
• Serious individuals may face friction with others due to their intense focus, making it essential to balance ambition with friendliness and sensitivity towards others (22m4s).
• Successful people tend to be ambitious nerds, but being friendly and sensitive to others is crucial to avoid being disliked and to maintain positive relationships (22m15s).
• Exceptional individuals often have uncompromising views, but it's essential to find a balance between intensity and kindness, deciding how much to "suffer fools" based on personal values (22m42s).
• Being serious is a superpower, and it's often associated with people who are thing-oriented rather than people-oriented, such as rocket scientists and those who are serious about technical things (24m30s).
• These individuals often prioritize making progress on their work over being socially nice, which can sometimes be misinterpreted as arrogance (24m10s).
• It's unrealistic to expect someone to be both a cutting-edge scientist and a smooth political operator, as most people specialize in what they're good at (25m10s).
• Life is a multiplayer game, and people can trade skills and strengths with others to compensate for their weaknesses (25m21s).
• Having at least one friend who can cover for your weaknesses is beneficial, and it's possible to make friends who complement your skills and personality (26m24s).
• The idea that one person needs to do everything by themselves is a fool's errand, and it's more practical to recognize that people have different strengths and weaknesses (24m55s).
• The quote from Rocky, "we each have gaps, but together we have no gaps," illustrates the idea that people can come together to compensate for each other's weaknesses (26m17s).
• Being serious and focused on one's work doesn't necessarily mean being antisocial, and people who are not good with people can still make friends and benefit from others' social skills (26m31s).
• The example of the Google co-founders, who were seen as arrogant but were actually just focused on their work, illustrates the importance of being serious and thing-oriented (24m7s).
• It is beneficial to have one person in your corner who can act as a representative, advocate, or translator of your perspective to others, making it easier for them to understand and communicate with you (26m36s).
• Finding someone who can play this role can be challenging, especially when you don't have anyone, but knowing that it's possible to find someone who can translate for you can make a big difference (26m51s).
• A "nerd Whisperer" is someone who is nerdy but not too intense, and can translate for those who are too far into their own interests to communicate effectively with others (26m57s).
• This person can act as a gateway to normal civilization, helping to bridge the gap between different worlds and facilitate understanding and communication (27m16s).
• The concept of a "bridge person" is also found in Norse mythology, where the god Heimdall is described as a bridge between worlds, highlighting the importance of having people who can connect and facilitate communication between different groups (27m26s).

What to Do If You Can’t Find a Role Model (27m38s)

• Growing up, there was a sense of yearning for role models or someone to provide encouragement, but this wasn't always available, leading to the concept of a "role model desert" (27m38s).
• The idea of the "reverse role model" was developed, where people who didn't want to be like certain individuals served as markers of what not to do, providing a sense of reassurance for those who felt they hadn't found a role model (27m49s).
• Most success in life comes from avoiding tragedy and failure rather than expediting success, as the downside of failure can be much greater than the potential upside (28m4s).
• The "reverse role model" concept can be reassuring for those who feel they haven't found a role model, as it allows them to learn from people they don't want to be like and avoid their mistakes (28m46s).
• The lack of role models can be attributed to being exposed to the opposite end of the bell curve, where people are more likely to encounter those who are not good role models (29m1s).
• The concept of "alchemy" can be applied to turn a negative situation into a positive one, such as finding value in the absence of role models (29m16s).
• The idea of "reverse role models" can be seen as a form of intuition, where individuals recognize what they don't want to be like and use that as a guide (29m36s).
• Not fitting in with others and not resonating with the people around can lead to the development of one's own identity and values (29m40s).
• Presenting oneself in a legible way, without compromising or changing, is a skill that can be developed, especially for those who are serious and care about things (30m5s).
• Social mores, graces, and acclimatizing people to oneself is a skill that can be developed over time, allowing for deeper and more interesting relationships (30m27s).
• Being serious and caring about things can be intimidating, especially when it comes to forming relationships, but it's possible to develop a sense of self and connect with others without being seen as a "buzz kill" (30m36s).
• When starting out, one may feel they have no legitimacy to be serious about anything due to having no experience or being a novice, which can be seen as patronizing, solipsistic, egotistical, and narcissistic (31m5s).
• However, having some level of seriousness is necessary to become good at something, and this spark needs to be present from the beginning (31m39s).
• The idea of deserving is tricky and influenced by cultural assumptions, status hierarchies, and concepts of royalty, which can be seen in mythology, Disney movies, and superhero movies (32m7s).
• These intuitions imply that only certain people, such as princes or princesses, have agency, and everyone else is meant to be a peasant (32m37s).
• These outdated intuitions still remain in modernity, but it's essential to recognize that anyone can be serious and take agency, regardless of their background (32m56s).
• The concept of gatekeepers, who controlled access to resources and opportunities, is no longer relevant in today's digital age, where anyone can create and share content (33m23s).
• Despite the changes in technology and accessibility, people still hold onto old intuitions, and the present reality is often 30 to 50 years behind (34m6s).
• In the past, parents might have protected their children by limiting their aspirations, but this is no longer necessary, and individuals should be free to pursue their goals without needing external validation (34m24s).
• The story of the five monkeys, who continued to beat each other due to a past experience, illustrates how outdated behaviors and intuitions can persist (34m51s).
• Culture evolves very slowly relative to other aspects of human life, and this slow evolution can be observed in how humans have historically discovered and responded to their own ability to destroy themselves, with this concept being studied in the context of existential risk (34m55s).
• The concept of "conceptual inertia" describes the phenomenon where people's understanding and behavior lag behind new discoveries and evidence, with initial denial, gradual acceptance by elites and eventually some of the general population, but still not changing their behavior accordingly (35m12s).
• Conceptual inertia is driven by the archetypes, stories, and worldviews that people hold, which resist change and need to be dragged along to adapt to new information and understanding (35m41s).
• The social element plays a significant role in conceptual inertia, as people's behaviors and beliefs are influenced by their social environment and the need for social acceptance (35m56s).

Does Charisma Matter? (35m59s)

• Social incentives often encourage people to be less extreme in their behavior, whether it's aggression or being overly funny, and instead strive for a more average or serious demeanor (36m0s).
• The desire to be liked and accepted can lead people to try to develop charisma, but it's possible to be well-liked without being the most charismatic person in the room (36m35s).
• The concept of "inverse charisma" suggests that instead of trying to be the most interesting person, it's more valuable to make others feel like they're the most interesting (37m17s).
• People tend to enjoy spending time with those who make them feel good about themselves, rather than those who are simply trying to be the center of attention (37m35s).
• Being kind, curious, and genuinely interested in others can make someone one of the most liked people in a social setting, regardless of their level of confidence or charm (38m9s).
• There's a selection bias effect, referred to as the "Time Square problem," where people tend to focus on the most flashy or attention-grabbing individuals, while overlooking others who may be more interesting or worthy of attention in their own way (38m27s).
• It's possible to find value and interest in people who are passionate about their craft or hobbies, even if they're not trying to be showy or charismatic (39m6s).

Being Serious Vs Being Earnest (39m29s)

• Earnestness is at the heart of being serious, and it's difficult to be serious without being earnest, although one can choose how much of it to show (39m33s).
• The concept of earnestness is related to edginess, and being earnest can be seen as edgy, as it involves being genuine and true to oneself (40m1s).
• Some people try to be edgy by contradicting the consensus or social norms, but this approach can be seen as a public service, especially in the past when diverse perspectives were scarce (40m33s).
• However, in today's online world, where everyone can share their opinions, presenting a contrary perspective may not add much value, and people may not be good at acting in large groups (41m6s).
• Trying to be edgy by reacting to the consensus can lead to lagging behind, as one is always responding to what others have already said (41m28s).
• On the other hand, following one's own heart and expressing what is truly important to oneself can lead to being more genuine and unique (42m3s).
• Children, especially those between the ages of three and seven, are often excellent at expressing themselves in a fresh and unique way, as they have not yet been socialized to conform to norms (42m22s).
• The challenge is to remain childlike and true to oneself, even as one grows older and is influenced by the world around them (42m52s).
• Expressing what is truly important to oneself, including one's daydreams and literal dreams, can lead to being more authentic and unique (43m0s).
• People who make predictions within a group tend to calibrate their guesses in relation to others, resulting in a bell curve of predictions, but sometimes the correct answer lies far outside this curve, and the person who figures it out is often the one who wasn't listening to others (43m13s).
• Being contrarian can be beneficial, as it allows individuals to think outside the box and come up with unique solutions that others may not have considered (43m13s).
• If a person's position on things can be easily predicted, it's likely worth being suspicious of, as it may indicate that they're running a simple script and could be easily replaced by a chatbot (44m3s).
• Earnestness can be suppressed, leading people to become superficially motivated by social activity, such as attacking others for imperfections in their utterances, which is a hollow form of nourishment (44m21s).
• People who don't know how to be better than a hater may engage in compulsive criticism, but this is not a fulfilling way to live, and individuals have the potential to do better and be adored for their unique personal flavor and style (45m10s).
• It's possible to look back on one's life and regret spending time criticizing others, and instead, people should strive to be true to themselves and focus on their own growth and development (45m32s).

The Importance of Feeling (45m51s)

• A quote from Ted Hughes states that people measure their respect for others by the degree of feeling they can register, highlighting the importance of emotions in human relationships (45m52s).
• The concept of feeling is considered the highest bandwidth thing a person is capable of, surpassing knowledge and communication, as discussed in the book "The User Illusion" by Tor Nørretranders (46m15s).
• The bandwidth of feeling is greater than the bandwidth of knowledge, and the bandwidth of knowledge is greater than the bandwidth of communication, meaning people feel more than they know and know more than they can say (46m29s).
• Thinking is situated between knowing and saying, and feelings are often more nuanced than thoughts, as seen in the concept of intuition (46m46s).
• Intuition is described as a felt understanding of the ecology of relationships and things around a person, requiring domain familiarity and expertise (47m9s).
• A story from Malcolm Gladwell's book illustrates the power of intuition, where a fireman's felt sense of something being wrong saves his team from a collapsing house (47m17s).
• This type of intuition is distinct from casual feelings or opinions, and instead relies on a deep understanding of a particular domain or context (48m1s).
• The ability to experience and navigate complex emotions is essential, but often minimized in modern civilization, which prioritizes convenience and minimizing inconvenience (48m23s).
• The process of civilization is likened to iterative potty training, where individuals learn to control and regulate their emotions and behaviors in a socially acceptable manner (48m47s).
• Being overly socialized can lead to people suppressing their emotions, which can negatively impact their mental health and lead to issues such as substance abuse, as people may not know how to express their feelings in a healthy way (49m6s).
• Civilization's mechanisms for socialization can be optimal for the collective, but not necessarily for the individual, and people may need to find ways to re-regulate themselves in a way that is optimal for them (50m0s).
• There is a concept of being "over-civilized," where people may prioritize the needs of others over their own, and this can be detrimental to their own well-being (50m24s).
• People with a "people-pleasing" tendency may struggle to advocate for their own needs and desires, as they prioritize the well-being of others over their own, even if it means subjugating their own desires (51m15s).
• This people-pleasing tendency can make it difficult for individuals to say "no" to others, even if it means sacrificing their own needs and desires, and can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration (51m31s).
• Recognizing and addressing this people-pleasing tendency can be an important step in personal growth and development, and may involve "un-civilizing" oneself in certain ways, such as learning to prioritize one's own needs and desires (52m2s).
• Discerning individuals may be able to tell when someone is prioritizing their needs over their own, and may take advantage of this, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing one's own needs (52m7s).
• When individuals don't care about what others think of them, they tend to be more liked by others, which is a paradoxical and uncomfortable truth of life (52m44s).
• This concept can be described as a "blessedness spiral upwards" and a "wretchedness spiral downwards," where the more blessed someone is, the more blessings they receive, and the more wretched they are, the more problems they face (52m54s).
• People often strive for wealth and social climbing because they instinctively know that at the next level, things will be better, and they will have access to more resources and opportunities (53m16s).
• Poverty can be expensive and create a cycle of stress, where individuals have to work multiple jobs, can't improve their education, and are stuck in a situation with limited opportunities (54m38s).
• On the other hand, having access to wealth and resources can provide a better quality of life, reduce stress, and offer more opportunities for personal growth and development (54m32s).
• Individuals like Elon and Bezos have achieved a level of wealth that seems to provide them with an "infinite money glitch," allowing them to live a life with significantly more advantages and opportunities (54m58s).
• It's challenging for people to step back from their immediate reality and consider the bigger picture, as they are often focused on their daily tasks and responsibilities (55m31s).
• Having a long view of life circumstances and understanding what one truly wants is crucial for making informed decisions (55m47s).
• This long view enables individuals to see the big picture and consider their life circumstances in a broader context (55m49s).
• Adopting this perspective can be challenging, but it is essential for personal growth and development (55m55s).

How to Endure Cheerfully (56m0s)

• Struggling cheerfully is a state where people continue to work hard despite facing difficulties and not achieving their desired outcomes, and this state can be challenging to maintain (56m2s).
• Different stages of life present unique struggles, and while some struggles may be harder, they can also be more freeing, as each stage has its pros and cons (56m45s).
• As a creative person, struggling to produce new and interesting work can be a significant challenge, as it requires finding new perspectives and taking risks (57m8s).
• The pressure to constantly produce new work and the fear of not meeting expectations can lead to unpleasant thoughts and self-doubt, making it essential to actively remind oneself of past accomplishments and goals (57m38s).
• Living one's dream can bring a sense of responsibility and burden, as there is a need to make the most of the opportunities and resources available (58m26s).
• Feeling a sense of survivor's guilt as a creative person can be overwhelming, especially when considering others who may be more talented but lack the opportunities or resources to pursue their passions (58m40s).
• The desire to make the most of one's opportunities and to create something meaningful can be a powerful motivator, and it's essential to find ways to stay focused and driven despite the challenges (58m57s).
• Quotes from influential people like Steve Jobs and Mark Manson can provide valuable insights and perspectives on the importance of perseverance and responsibility in achieving one's goals (58m10s).
• To find motivation and perseverance, it's essential to focus on the pain that can be endured rather than the pleasure, and to find the struggle that is enjoyable for its own sake, even if success is not achieved (59m31s).
• A thought experiment to visualize an old self and a young self having a conversation can help in understanding what is truly loved and enjoyed, and what kind of life would be considered good, even without achieving great success (59m51s).
• It's crucial to define small victories that are personal and meaningful, even if they are not recognized by others, and to be honest about what is considered good work and worth struggling for (1h0m48s).
• A quote from Les Brown emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's own success and worth, even if others do not, and to be honest about what is good work and worth doing (1h1m22s).
• Finding one person who shares the same vision and appreciation can help in building momentum and motivation, and eventually, more people can be found to support and recognize the work (1h1m37s).
• To avoid disappointment and frustration, it's recommended not to attempt extremely large projects that can sink one's ship if failed, and instead, focus on smaller, manageable tasks, such as writing 100 outlines or drafts (1h1m51s).
• The importance of perseverance and motivation is highlighted by the example of an author who spent years working on a project that ultimately failed to gain interest, resulting in disappointment and disheartenment (1h2m11s).
• To develop a sense of what one wants to do, it's helpful to create little sketches, outlines, and drafts, share them with people, and observe their responses, which can help identify moments that spark joy or interest in others (1h2m36s).
• As one becomes more successful, new fears and challenges arise, such as the fear of losing something or the pressure to continue performing well, which can be overwhelming (1h3m26s).
• The concept of the "scarcity Sprite" describes a being that is anxious and fearful of losing opportunities or coming across as ungrateful, which can be a relatable emotional state for those who have experienced success (1h4m3s).
• It's essential to cultivate self-support and self-compassion, especially when faced with the possibility of losing everything, and to recognize that one's sense of identity and worth is not solely tied to their accomplishments (1h4m30s).
• The idea of a "peak state" self, which is the best version of oneself, can be inspiring, but it's also important to acknowledge that one's daily self may not always feel like their best self, and that's okay (1h4m57s).
• Elizabeth Gilbert's TED talk discusses the myth of the creative genius, highlighting how people's expectations and pressures can shift dramatically once someone achieves success, and how it's essential to reframe one's relationship with creativity and success (1h5m10s).
• Historically, people believed that creative genius was a result of being possessed by a divine spirit, rather than a personal achievement, which can help to alleviate the pressure to constantly produce exceptional work (1h5m51s).
• Not taking full credit or blame for one's work can be seen as a way of acknowledging that creativity can be an unpredictable force, and individuals are merely vessels for it (1h5m56s).
• The idea of having one's own back and being true to oneself is important, as reflected in a quote from Monte, which emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and forgiveness on one's deathbed (1h6m23s).
• Self-reflection and self-improvement are crucial in becoming a better friend to oneself, which in turn enables one to be a better friend to others (1h6m43s).
• Practicing self-love and self-care is essential, rather than subjugating one's desires and prioritizing others' needs over one's own (1h6m55s).
• Recognizing the importance of self-attention and self-care can be a challenging task, but it is necessary for personal growth and development (1h7m7s).

The TL;DR of Procrastination (1h7m16s)

• Procrastination is often viewed as a major obstacle, but it can be more productive to focus on the outcomes one wants rather than the ones they don't want, and to identify what's in the way of achieving those desired outcomes (1h7m47s).
• Describing things in terms of procrastination can sometimes reinforce the behavior, and it's more helpful to think about what one wants and what's preventing them from getting it (1h7m55s).
• Procrastination can be a way of protecting oneself from doing something they don't actually want to do, and being honest with oneself about one's desires can help overcome this (1h8m20s).
• A person's subconscious can protect them from making costly decisions by putting things off, but recognizing one's true desires can make it easier to take action (1h8m36s).
• The story one tells oneself about why they need to do something can be a major factor in their motivation and behavior, and it's essential to examine and challenge these narratives (1h9m16s).
• Having a "Taskmaster" mindset, where one beats themselves up over not doing something, can be counterproductive and doesn't get to the root of why they should or shouldn't be doing it (1h9m27s).
• Instead of focusing on reducing time spent on things one thinks they shouldn't be doing, it's more effective to focus on increasing time spent on things they actually want to do and that align with their goals (1h10m11s).
• Identifying what one truly wants to achieve and making a plan to get there can be a more effective way to overcome procrastination and make progress (1h10m21s).
• Mark Manson is mentioned as someone who has written about procrastination, but the speaker has moved beyond using the term and instead focuses on identifying and achieving desired outcomes (1h7m16s).
• A person's initial plan to read a thick, dense textbook in a week is unrealistic, so they need to partition the task into smaller, manageable parts (1h10m28s).
• This task can be viewed as having two people: the manager and the worker, where the manager gives vague requests and the worker is reluctant to do the job due to unclear expectations and unreasonable timelines (1h10m44s).
• People often inherit vague and unhelpful management styles from their parents, teachers, or past experiences, which can lead to ineffective self-management (1h11m44s).
• To improve self-management, it's essential to define clear goals, break down tasks into smaller steps, and track progress, much like video games do with missions, objectives, and rewards (1h12m5s).
• By doing so, individuals can create a sense of accomplishment and motivation, as progress feels good, and they can work towards specific, achievable goals (1h12m49s).
• However, some people may not feel they deserve to feel good about making progress on their work, as they believe work should be miserable and difficult due to a Puritan work ethic (1h12m56s).
• This mindset can lead to a split between the person's goals and actions, resulting in procrastination and a lack of motivation, as seen in the concept of "Revenge bedtime procrastination" (1h13m28s).
• In this scenario, the prefrontal cortex acts as the manager, making plans, but can be influenced by negative self-talk, much like the character Wormtongue in The Lord of the Rings, whispering poison into King Theoden's ear (1h13m35s).
• Many people's prefrontal cortex can be described as having a "Worm tongue," indicating a tendency to self-doubt and criticism, with thoughts such as "you got to do more" or "this is not okay." (1h13m45s)
• This self-doubt can be countered by an internal voice that encourages agency and action, much like Gandalf in J.R.R. Tolkien's works, who sees the best in people and encourages them to take action. (1h13m55s)
• When people get tired, their prefrontal cortex can shut down, leading to a lack of self-control and a tendency to engage in unproductive or distracting activities, such as "goofing off." (1h14m10s)
• This lack of self-control can lead to feelings of burnout and powerlessness, causing individuals to feel like they have no choice but to give in to their desires, even if it means engaging in unhealthy or unproductive behaviors. (1h14m25s)
• This can create a cycle of guilt and self-justification, where individuals feel bad about their actions, justify being harsher on themselves, and struggle to find a solution to break the cycle. (1h14m37s)

Type A & Type B People (1h14m42s)

• Type A people have a type B problem, needing to learn how to relax and chill out, while type B people have a type A problem, needing to learn how to work harder and be disciplined (1h14m43s).
• Insecure overachievers often harness their anxiety for productivity, but this can be a coping mechanism that leads to overextension and burnout (1h15m7s).
• The concept of a "glass cannon" from DND and video games can be applied to people who overextend themselves, doing a lot of damage but also being vulnerable to burnout (1h15m30s).
• To address these issues, it's essential to step back and observe patterns non-judgmentally, asking abstract questions like "how might this look if it's easy" or "how might it look if it's done skillfully" (1h16m0s).
• The book "Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Allen Carr suggests that smokers keep smoking while reading the book to break the cycle of addiction, and this approach can be applied to other addictions and procrastination (1h16m30s).
• The key is to observe behavior without judgment, creating breathing room to make changes, rather than trying to change behavior immediately (1h17m31s).
• Tracking behavior, such as spending or food habits, without judgment can help people become more aware of their patterns and make positive changes (1h17m22s).
• Schedules and planning can be stressful and traumatic for some people, but finding a way to approach planning that feels comfortable and honest can be beneficial (1h17m47s).
• Scheduling fun activities can help alleviate anxiety and prevent overindulgence, as it allows individuals to feel secure in their leisure time and avoid the urge to overcompensate by doing too much at once (1h18m10s).
• Prioritizing emotional well-being and morale is crucial for doing one's best work, and neglecting this aspect can lead to burnout and decreased productivity (1h18m36s).
• People often don't admit the importance of emotional well-being until it's too late, and they're forced to take a break due to illness or exhaustion (1h18m43s).
• Scheduling leisure activities, such as vacations or hobbies, can help individuals avoid the extremes of overindulgence and deprivation (1h18m58s).
• Most people can only enjoy leisure activities for a limited time, such as two or three months, before they start to feel unfulfilled or restless (1h19m13s).
• When people are suppressed from pleasure, they tend to overindulge when given the opportunity, leading to feelings of guilt and regret (1h19m42s).
• Scheduling fun and pleasure can help dampen the extremes of overindulgence and deprivation, leading to a more balanced and healthy lifestyle (1h20m1s).
• Prioritizing one's own needs and well-being is essential, and individuals should recognize their right to have fun and take breaks (1h20m13s).
• Historical cultures have recognized the importance of rest and relaxation, with practices such as the Sabbath, which can help individuals decompress and recharge (1h21m7s).
• Even high-performing individuals, such as LeBron James, prioritize rest and relaxation, demonstrating the importance of self-care for optimal performance (1h20m56s).
• Taking one or two days a week to not work as hard and relax is enjoyable, and this concept is often referred to as a weekend, which is typically scheduled into one's calendar (1h21m23s).

Where to Find Visakan (1h21m37s)

• To keep up-to-date with the latest work, the most interesting content is currently available on Visakan Veerasamy's Substack, which can be found by visiting visakanv.substack.com (1h21m44s).
• Alternatively, people can search for Visakan Veerasamy by typing "visakanv" in Google, which will lead to his personal website containing links to his YouTube channel and other relevant information (1h21m54s).
• Visakan Veerasamy's personal website can be accessed through his name, providing a centralized hub for his work and online presence (1h21m56s).