Oestrogen Expert: Birth Control Changes Who You Are...Would You Still Love Them If You Came Off It?

Intro (0s)

• Research has found that when women who were partnered to attractive men went off hormonal birth control, they became more attracted to their partner, but for women who were partnered with less attractive partners, they became less attracted to their partners and reported being less sexually satisfied (14s).
• Dr. Sarah Hill is a leading research psychologist and Professor who has uncovered the shocking effects the contraceptive pill has had on women, relationships, and society (24s).
• The birth control pill has been instrumental in women's ability to achieve independence, but it has huge costs that are often overlooked by doctors who prescribe it (36s).
• The birth control pill can change who women are in at least five different ways, including changing their emotional states, influencing their ability to put on muscle mass, affecting their sexual function, and increasing the risk for developing anxiety and depression (51s).
• The pill can also affect men in two different ways, which has implications for society (1m15s).
• The pill's effects on women include turning off the estrogen surge that makes them feel sexier and want to have sex (1m8s).
• The alternatives for women who want to avoid the effects of the birth control pill will be explored (1m22s).

What Is the Mission You Are On? (2m4s)

• The mission is to help women understand themselves through scientific research and effective communication, uncovering insights that allow women to gain a deeper understanding of themselves (2m22s).
• Part of this mission involves addressing the historical focus of medicine on men, where most research on human health and functioning has been conducted on men (2m37s).
• The goal is to help women understand themselves as individuals, rather than relying on research and knowledge primarily based on men (2m55s).

Is This Conversation Only for Women? (2m58s)

• This conversation is not exclusive to women, but rather it is a conversation for women, their partners, and those who love women, making it a conversation for everyone (2m59s).
• The conversation is relevant to individuals interested in the subject matter, including those who focus on Women's Health and women's issues (3m11s).
• The conversation's scope extends to evolutionary psychology, which is intertwined with the topic, allowing individuals to gain a deeper understanding of themselves, including men, and their development, testosterone, attraction, and mating preferences (3m28s).

Why Does Sarah Hill Do This Work? (3m47s)

• The focus on the subject matter of hormones and birth control is driven by the fascination with how hormones influence who people are and the impact of the birth control pill on women's hormones, which can fundamentally change important aspects of themselves (3m47s).
• The birth control pill, used by almost all women at some point in their lives, has significant consequences, including its effects on who women are attracted to, their mental health, and the world around them (4m1s).
• The pill has had a profound impact on women's ability to pursue education and careers, as evidenced by the increasing number of women in college classrooms, allowing them to make plans, dream bigger, and achieve more than previously possible (4m32s).
• The birth control pill has changed the world by changing women, with implications for women themselves, their partners, and society as a whole (5m0s).
• The pill's influence on women's lives has enabled them to have almost perfect certainty about not getting pregnant, allowing them to plan and achieve their goals (4m44s).
• The consequences of the pill's impact on women's hormones and lives are far-reaching, influencing everything from relationships and mental health to education and societal structures (4m8s).

Is There a Problem in Dating When Women Have More Resources? (5m13s)

• There is a growing trend of women having more resources, with more women in classrooms and becoming college-educated, leading to a potential issue in dating where women still prefer men with more resources (5m13s).
• Women are considered hypergamous, meaning they prefer to mate with partners who have higher achievement and educational attainment, making it difficult for women with advanced degrees to find suitable partners (6m23s).
• The increasing number of women with more education and resources than men has led to a "mating crisis," with women opting out of long-term mating if they cannot find a partner who meets their standards (6m6s).
• Research shows that women tend to marry men who are older and earn more money, with this trend being observed cross-culturally (7m34s).
• While women are becoming more open to partnering with people who earn less or have less education, they still tend to prefer partners with more resources (7m50s).
• Many women are choosing to stay single rather than partner with someone who does not meet their standards, due to a lack of good options (8m11s).
• The book "All the Single Ladies" explores the phenomenon of women choosing to stay single due to the lack of suitable partners (7m0s).
• David Buss, a researcher, has discussed the idea of a "mating crisis" and the challenges faced by women in finding suitable partners (6m3s).

Is Sex Trending Down? (9m0s)

• Sex is trending downward, with people having less sex and starting to have sex later in life than in the past (9m2s).
• There is an increase in the number of people who are virgins when graduating from high school and college compared to previous years (9m15s).
• Despite the availability of hormonal birth control, which reduces the fear of pregnancy, people are still having less sex, making this a complex issue to understand (9m29s).
• One factor contributing to this trend is the imbalance in the ratio of women to men on college campuses, with most campuses being 60% female, making it harder for women to find a partner with similar educational attainment (10m3s).
• As a result, women may experience less dating and less sex due to the limited pool of potential partners (10m17s).

Why Don’t Women Date Broke Men? (10m23s)

• Women with more money and independence as a result of their success and education often choose not to date men who are broke, due to inherited mating psychology from distant ancestors who relied heavily on men for resources such as provisioning, access, and protection (10m23s).
• Throughout most of human evolutionary history, women spent their lives being pregnant, lactating, and caring for young children, making them heavily dependent on their partner's ability to gain access to essential resources like food (10m48s).
• This historical dependence on men for resources led to women placing an emphasis on choosing partners with qualities that ensured their survival and the survival of their offspring (11m27s).
• Women who preferred partners with these qualities were more likely to have surviving offspring, passing this tendency or preference down to their descendants, resulting in contemporary human women still having this preference (11m35s).
• Despite being able to gain access to resources independently, contemporary women have inherited this preference from their successful ancestors, who performed better than those who didn't prioritize these qualities in a partner (11m58s).

Is This Patriarchy? (12m9s)

• The concept of patriarchy, referring to male control of resources, is influenced by women's desire for resources and their partners, driving men to work hard to access these resources (12m12s).
• Women's demand for resource access from their partners is a key factor in men's tendency to control resources, as men would not work as hard to acquire resources if women did not value them (12m38s).
• A quote by Aristotle Onassis highlights the idea that men's pursuit of power and wealth is driven by the desire to attract women, as without women, these resources would be meaningless (12m53s).
• Men's competition for resources is not solely driven by a desire to hoard them from women, but rather an epiphenomenon of men competing with each other to access resources and attract partners (13m19s).
• Women's valuation of resource access in their choice of partners contributes to men's willingness to make trade-offs to acquire resources and achieve positions of power, such as becoming a CEO (13m28s).
• Men's tendency to prioritize resource acquisition is an inherited trait, driven by the evolutionary benefits of attracting better partners and securing their children's well-being (13m53s).
• The patriarchy exists in many societies, with men controlling resources more frequently than women, but this is a product of men's evolved psychology and their desire to access resources, rather than a deliberate attempt to exclude women (14m7s).

Why Do Men Take More Risks? (14m35s)

• Men are more likely to take risks, as seen in statistics on gambling addiction, where the vast majority of addicts are men (14m35s).
• This inclination towards risk-taking may contribute to men being more entrepreneurial, as entrepreneurship involves taking risks (14m51s).
• The reason for men's risk-taking behavior is rooted in psychology, which has been shaped by history and biology (14m56s).
• Throughout most of human history, women have spent a significant amount of time pregnant and caring for young children, leading to a psychology that is more risk-sensitive and risk-averse (15m30s).
• As a result, women tend to be more risk-averse than men, which is evident in various aspects, including gambling and entrepreneurship (15m41s).
• While men are more likely to take risks, including those associated with entrepreneurship, women's psychology is less tolerant of such risks (16m16s).
• The difference in risk-taking behavior between men and women is not a matter of destiny or what they should or need to do, but rather a result of their inherited psychology (15m27s).

Are Men Better at Business Than Women? (16m22s)

• Research suggests that while more men may start businesses, it doesn't necessarily mean they are better at entrepreneurship, and being prone to risk in business doesn't guarantee success (16m23s).
• Women tend to be more accurate and honest with their forecasting and more realistic about what their business is capable of, whereas men tend to overforecast business performance (16m47s).
• Kevin O'Leary, a Shark Tank investor, reported that the best-performing investments in his portfolio were from women, who tend to be better at forecasting and taking calculated risks (17m6s).
• Men's tendency to be riskier and have more hubris in business may be linked to differences in mating psychology and the psychology of parenting and provisioning (17m36s).
• Men's brains may be wired to assume things will be better than they are, allowing them to attract mates and take risks, which can lead to big rewards and potentially more mating opportunities (17m48s).
• Historically, men's ability to pass down genes has been directly impacted by their ability to take risks and achieve big rewards, which can translate into additional mating opportunities (18m22s).
• Women's reproductive biology limits the number of offspring they can have, regardless of the number of partners they have, creating an asymmetry in the potential benefits of taking risks (18m46s).
• Men's psychology is geared towards pursuing high-risk, high-reward activities, driven by the potential for big rewards and increased mating opportunities (19m15s).
• Even if a woman becomes a billionaire, her reproductive biology limits the number of children she can have, whereas a high-status male can potentially have hundreds of thousands of children (19m45s).
• In evolutionary biology, the Bateman principle states that men's fitness can increase with each partner they have access to, while women's fitness tops out after one partner, resulting in greater potential reproductive returns for men than women (19m56s).
• Historically, men with high status and access to resources have had multiple partners, as seen in polygynous cultures where men with the most resources and highest status tend to have multiple wives and a greater number of children (20m35s).
• This has shaped men's mating psychology and achievement motivation psychology to promote gaining access to resources, as it leads to a greater fitness return than what is available to women (20m57s).
• The speaker's own family history illustrates this, with their grandfather in Nigeria having 10 or 14 wives and the speaker having 30-40 cousins, demonstrating how this behavior can be passed down through generations (21m29s).
• Despite this, most men in monogamous cultures, such as the US and European cultures, form long-term pair bonds and do not increase their reproductive output by gaining access to new partners (22m26s).
• The question remains as to why most men do not take advantage of the potential to increase their reproductive output by gaining access to new partners (22m45s).

Why Don’t We Live Like Our Biology Intended? (22m46s)

• In contemporary hunter-gatherer groups, children with an investing father around have a higher probability of survival compared to those without an investing partner, highlighting the importance of paternal investment in human biology (22m57s).
• Women generally prefer not to share their partners, and men who are willing to restrict their reproductive value by committing to one partner can increase their attractiveness to high-value women (23m14s).
• Men can increase their "mate value" by being willing to commit to a long-term relationship and invest resources in one partner, as women prioritize a partner's willingness to stick around and continue investing in them (24m57s).
• A person's "mate value" can be thought of as a scale from 1 to 10, with higher values indicating more desirable qualities, and men can increase their value by making a commitment to invest in one partner (23m58s).
• Women can identify high-status men through signals such as physical attractiveness, resources, and a willingness to commit, and men can increase their attractiveness by demonstrating these qualities (25m15s).

Signs of a High-Status Male (25m22s)

• The brain recognizes a good reproductive partner through various cues, with men prioritizing physical appearance and fertility-related traits in women (25m26s).
• Men value qualities in their partners that are immediately apparent based on physical appearance, as these cues are related to fertility and reproductive value (25m36s).
• Reproductive value refers to a person's reproductive shelf life, which is influenced by their age and fertility (25m48s).
• Women's partner preferences and the qualities they prioritize in a partner change across the menstrual cycle, influenced by fluctuations in sex hormones (26m7s).
• During the early part of the menstrual cycle, estrogen and progesterone levels are low, but estrogen begins to increase as eggs mature in the ovary (26m19s).
• Estrogen levels surge around day nine of the menstrual cycle and reach their peak around day 14, which is when ovulation typically occurs (26m54s).
• The increase in estrogen is triggered by the maturation of eggs in the ovary, with a dominant egg being chosen and fully matured for release at ovulation (26m39s).
• Women's mating and attraction preferences change throughout their cycle, with their preferences for certain qualities in a partner shifting in response to hormonal fluctuations (25m55s).

How Women’s Preferences Change During Their Cycle (27m5s)

• The menstrual cycle begins on the day a woman's period arrives, and estrogen levels start to increase around day nine, peaking around day 14 when ovulation occurs, making it the time when pregnancy is possible from sex (27m7s).
• During this time, women experience a change in their sexual psychology, becoming more attuned to sex, with increased sexual desire, more sex, and more masturbation, and they become more exacting about their romantic or sex partners (27m44s).
• As estrogen increases across the cycle, women's interest in cues related to high genetic quality or genetic compatibility in their choice of partners also increases (28m16s).
• Two traits that are particularly pronounced in women's interest near high fertility in the cycle are cues related to testosterone and masculinity (28m31s).
• Testosterone is a known immunosuppressive, meaning it suppresses the immune system, and people with relatively high levels of testosterone are believed to have greater immunocompetence (28m45s).
• During peak fertility time in the menstrual cycle, when estrogen is high, women exhibit a greater preference for cues related to testosterone in men, such as more masculinized male faces, voices, and behavior (29m26s).
• Researchers have tested this phenomenon by looking at what women are looking for in partners over time, such as in a study where women evaluated the attractiveness of male faces while their saliva samples were collected to measure estrogen levels (29m45s).
• The study found that estrogen levels tended to increase and peak during the fertile window, and women's facial preferences for men with higher testosterone levels increased during this time (30m53s).
• Research has found that on day 15 of a woman's cycle, when estrogen levels are high, women's preference for testosterone levels in the faces of men they prefer also increases, showing a correlation between estrogen levels and preference for testosterone (31m5s).
• During this estrogenic phase, women have a heightened preference for cues related to facial masculinity and vocal masculinity, and they tend to like more social dominance in terms of behavior (31m30s).
• Women at high fertility in the cycle also prefer the sound of more masculinized male voices (31m39s).
• Studies have found that men with high testosterone levels are more likely to be in a relationship the next year than men with lower testosterone levels (32m10s).
• Research has shown that women choose men with higher levels of testosterone as their partners, and men with higher levels of testosterone are more likely to be married over time (32m25s).
• Interestingly, men who have a baby experience plummeting testosterone levels, with the exact mechanisms behind this phenomenon still not fully understood (33m10s).

High Testosterone and Relationship Status (33m17s)

• Research has found that when men enter a long-term relationship, their testosterone levels decrease slightly (33m29s).
• This decrease in testosterone is also observed when men have children that they care for, with testosterone taking another dip (34m3s).
• Culturally, there is a narrative that more testosterone is better, and it is often seen as something that men should have a lot of, with testosterone clinics promoting this idea (33m44s).
• However, having low testosterone does not always mean that there is a problem, and the decrease in testosterone in long-term relationships and fatherhood may serve a purpose that is not necessarily negative (33m54s).
• The exact mechanisms behind the connection between the brain and the rest of the body in relation to testosterone and relationships are not fully understood (33m17s).

Do Men’s Testosterone Levels Plummet After Having a Baby? (34m12s)

• Men in long-term relationships or those caring for young children may benefit from redirecting their energy away from constant sexual desire and attraction, and instead focus on caring for their children and partner (34m13s).
• Research suggests that men with higher levels of testosterone tend to be more successful in short-term casual sexual behavior, but being willing to invest in long-term relationships can increase a man's value to women (34m56s).
• Men with lower testosterone levels can still be desirable to women by being willing to invest in a committed relationship, as this is a quality that women value (35m46s).
• Women tend to pick up on qualities related to high genetic quality or genetic compatibility, such as different immune genes, but men lacking these qualities can still be attractive by being committed to a relationship (35m30s).
• Channeling energy into caring for children and partners can be more beneficial for men in long-term relationships than constantly pursuing new sexual attractions (34m26s).
• Being a "nice guy" who invests in relationships may not lead to as much casual sex, but it can lead to a more stable and committed partnership (34m43s).

Do Nice Guys Get Laid? (35m58s)

• Attraction is a delicate and unconscious process that cannot be fully explained by physical characteristics, but rather by a multitude of tiny, almost imperceptible expressions or cues in the air that draw people to one another (36m1s).
• The advice given to people on how to be attractive may be futile, as attraction is a complex and deeply personal process that goes beyond surface-level characteristics (36m28s).
• Attraction is idiosyncratic and finicky, meaning that what one person finds sexy and attractive may not be the same for another person, and there is a highly personal and specific element to individual attraction (36m38s).
• There may be evolutionary roots behind the idiosyncratic nature of attraction, although this is not explicitly stated (37m3s).
• People's perceptions of attractiveness can vary greatly, with some individuals finding a particular person highly attractive while others do not share the same sentiment (36m48s).

What Makes Us Attracted to Someone? (37m8s)

• Attraction to someone may be influenced by qualities that make them a compatible mate, and individuals may have specific responses to certain people due to these qualities (37m9s).
• Research has shown that men tend to place a greater emphasis on physical attractiveness, which is related to fertility, such as an hourglass body shape, which is influenced by estrogen levels (37m26s).
• As women age and estrogen levels decline, their bodies become less hourglass-shaped, which is less desirable to men (38m0s).
• Men also tend to prefer cues related to youthfulness, whereas women tend to prefer cues related to wisdom, status, and resource acquisition, which come with age (38m14s).
• Women's preference for older faces, such as George Clooney's, is due to inherited tendencies to find cues related to wisdom and status attractive (38m24s).
• Conversely, men's preference for youthful faces is due to the fact that preferring mature faces would lead to choosing partners approaching menopause, which would not lead to gene transmission (39m6s).
• Despite individual differences, there are overall themes that characterize men's and women's partner preferences, allowing for some strong predictions to be made (39m41s).
• Research has found that men do not prioritize a woman's success, but they do not necessarily penalize it either, as men's attraction to women is largely based on physical attractiveness regardless of their profession or attire (40m2s).
• In contrast, women's attraction to men is influenced by cues related to resource access and provisioning ability, which can be indicated by their attire and profession (40m46s).

Are Men Less Attracted to Successful Women? (41m7s)

• Attractive females in positions of power are found to be just as attractive as those not in power, but men may be less likely to choose them as long-term mates due to potential power dynamics issues (41m8s).
• The term "intersex women" refers to women being jealous of women, and men being jealous of men, which can lead to competition amongst women for access to men, particularly in environments with an asymmetrical sex ratio (41m30s).
• In environments like college campuses, where women outnumber men, women tend to become more competitive amongst themselves for access to men, often leading to a willingness to do whatever men want in order to be chosen as a mate (42m7s).
• This competition can result in an increase in short-term hookups and casual sex, as men tend to be more oriented towards non-committed relationships, which is a common phenomenon observed on college campuses (42m33s).
• The imbalance in the sex ratio, with 60-70% of college attendees being women and only 30% being men, contributes to the competition amongst women for the limited number of men available (41m38s).

Jealousy Among the Sexes (42m40s)

• Women compete for access to mates, and one way they do this is by being willing to do what men want in terms of providing the structure of the relationship, even if men are only looking for casual sex, as women tend to be more oriented towards long-term relationships (42m41s).
• Women are more competitive with beautiful women, as physical attractiveness is a primary dimension by which women compete for access to partners, and men place a strong priority on physical attractiveness in their choice of partners (43m11s).
• A woman's physical attractiveness is a bigger predictor of her upward social mobility in the US than her education level or socioeconomic status of origin, meaning it is more strongly predicted by physical attractiveness than a woman's education level (43m46s).
• Women compete against one another by derogating their competitors, often saying mean things about them, particularly regarding their attractiveness, in an attempt to manipulate other people's perceptions of that woman's value (44m37s).
• Women are fiercely competitive in terms of attractiveness, even when they don't want to admit it, and this is a dimension in which women are competitive, as attractiveness plays an important role in a woman's ability to successfully attract a romantic partner (45m15s).
• Women are more likely to form friendships with gay men, particularly beautiful women who are more competitive and may perceive more competition from other women, as seen in research on the friendship between gay men and straight women (46m47s).

Why Do Women Have Gay Best Friends? (47m3s)

• Women often form close friendships with gay men because they can provide unbiased information relevant to the mating market, uncolored by intersexual competition, allowing for a trusting relationship without the fear of ulterior motives (47m3s).
• This dynamic is unique because gay men friends are not trying to impress or pursue their female friends romantically, enabling honest interactions and advice (47m20s).
• The author, a psychologist who studies women's brains, wrote a book about the effects of birth control on the brain after her own experience of being on hormonal birth control for over a decade (47m45s).
• The author had no idea about the effects of birth control on the brain until she went off it and experienced significant changes in her life, including feeling things more deeply, increased interest in sex, and a renewed enthusiasm for activities like exercise, music, and cooking (48m14s).
• The author describes the experience of going off birth control as feeling like she "woke up" and had a newfound appreciation for pleasure, energy, and deeper emotional connections (48m32s).

Why Did Sarah Write Her Book on Birth Control? (48m58s)

• The author was on birth control and didn't experience any negative side effects, but after going off it, she realized how much more alive she felt, which led her to research the effects of hormonal birth control on women (48m58s).
• The research showed that hormonal birth control changes the way women think, feel, and experience the world, and this information has been studied for up to 30 years (49m29s).
• Despite studying women's brains and publishing papers on the effects of women's changing hormones, the author didn't realize that her birth control was changing her, which motivated her to write a book about the science behind hormones and hormonal birth control (49m43s).
• The book aims to present the different ways hormones influence women and the surprising ways hormonal birth control can change who they are, allowing them to make informed decisions about whether to use it (51m6s).
• The author believes that the decision to use hormonal birth control is woman-specific and depends on individual circumstances, and her goal is to empower women to make informed decisions about their fertility and who they want to be (52m10s).
• If the author could go back in time, she would tell her younger self that hormones make you who you are, and changing your hormones changes who you are, which is what the birth control pill does (52m36s).
• The birth control pill changes the version of yourself that your brain creates, and it's essential to understand what this means before making a decision about using it (52m58s).
• The pill affects various aspects of a woman's life, including sexual desire, emotional states, moods, and stress management, and there are at least five different ways it changes who women are (53m14s).

What Does Sarah Wish She Was Told About the Pill? (53m35s)

• The birth control pill influences various aspects of life, including sexual desire and function, muscle mass, nutrition, and fitness goals, as well as mental health and libido. (53m35s)
• Not knowing the potential risks and side effects of the pill, including its impact on mental health and libido, would have likely impacted decisions about staying on it when not necessary. (53m51s)
• The pill changes who a person is attracted to and their sexual desire, which is a result of the hormonal changes initiated by the pill. (54m20s)
• Mechanistically, the pill works by suppressing ovulation through a combination of hormones or a single hormone that tells the brain not to stimulate the ovaries. (54m40s)
• The pill uses a synthetic progesterone called a progestin, which is found in all forms of hormonal birth control, to send a signal to the brain to not stimulate the ovaries. (55m1s)
• When the brain is not stimulating the ovaries, the body is not producing estrogen, resulting in low estrogen levels, and instead receives a daily dose of synthetic progesterone or progestin. (55m25s)

How the Pill Changes Your Sexual Desires (55m34s)

• Combination hormonal birth control pills contain progestin and a relatively low level of estrogen, which can flatline a woman's own production of hormones and replace them with a daily dose of synthetic progesterone (55m35s).
• This can turn off the estrogen surge that women experience prior to ovulation, which is related to a heightened preference for sex, increased preference for testosterone markers and mates, and women's interest in sex (56m22s).
• Many women report experiencing a decrease in their libido when they're on hormonal birth control, which is a common response (57m12s).
• Estrogen plays a significant role in promoting women's sexual desire and libido, and as estrogen levels rise in the cycle, women's sexual response and desire increase (57m25s).
• Hormonal birth control can keep sexual desire more constant across the cycle, but it tends to be lower overall, with fewer peaks and valleys in sexual desire compared to naturally cycling women (57m53s).
• Synthetic hormones in hormonal birth control can lead to an increase in sex hormone binding globulin, which binds up free testosterone and makes it inactive in the body, further decreasing libido (58m14s).
• Testosterone is important for promoting women's sexual desire, and women on hormonal birth control have levels of free testosterone that are about 60% lower than those of their naturally cycling peers (58m41s).
• The combination of low estrogen levels and low free testosterone levels can suppress sexual desire in women and also change attraction patterns (59m0s).
• As women approach ovulation, their estrogen levels increase, which can affect their attraction patterns and preferences (59m22s).
• Research has found that women's interest in testosterone markers in men is related to their estrogen levels, and hormonal birth control can affect this interest by keeping estrogen levels low (59m27s).
• Women using hormonal birth control tend to have a dampened preference for cues related to masculinity and testosterone in partners, such as deep-set eyes, a wider jaw, broader shoulders, and a deeper voice (59m47s).
• This means that women on birth control are less likely to be interested in men with highly masculinized features, and instead prefer a less masculinized male face (1h0m41s).
• A longitudinal study of married couples found that when women discontinued hormonal birth control, there were significant changes in how attracted they were to their partner, depending on whether they chose them while using hormonal birth control (1h1m11s).
• The study found that women who were partnered to attractive men became more attracted to their partner, more sexually attracted, and more sexually satisfied within their relationship after going off hormonal birth control (1h1m51s).
• However, the opposite may be true for women partnered to less attractive men, as the study suggests that their attraction to their partner may decrease after discontinuing hormonal birth control (1h1m49s).

If My Partner Is on the Pill, Will She Like Me If She Comes Off? (1h2m5s)

• Research suggests that hormonal birth control can influence a woman's attraction to her partner, and when she stops using it, her attraction may change, potentially leading to a decrease in attraction to her partner if he is less attractive (1h2m9s).
• However, for most women, stopping hormonal birth control does not significantly impact their relationship, as hormones only slightly influence attraction, and these changes are usually not drastic (1h3m0s).
• Hormonal birth control can nudge a woman's preferences towards a certain type of mate, but these effects are generally subtle and may not result in significant changes in attraction (1h3m12s).
• Some individuals may experience changes in their sexual orientation or attraction to specific partners when they stop using hormonal birth control, as sex hormones can influence these aspects (1h3m43s).
• Women who are naturally cycling are often perceived as more attractive to men compared to when they are on hormonal birth control, suggesting that a man's attraction to his partner may increase when she stops using hormonal birth control (1h4m42s).
• Studies have shown that men find women more attractive, sexy, and appealing when they are at high fertility across their menstrual cycle, indicating that men are cued into estrogen levels and other physical and behavioral cues (1h5m13s).
• Research has also demonstrated that men are more likely to be attracted to women who are moving or dancing at high fertility across their cycle, even when they only see their silhouettes (1h5m40s).

Would a Man’s Attraction Change If a Woman Is Off the Pill? (1h5m47s)

• Men's brains are wired to pick up on estrogen cues, which are linked with fertility, and this is an evolutionary adaptation that helped men who were attuned to these cues pass down more genes (1h5m57s).
• Research suggests that men find women more attractive when they are at high fertility, and this is likely to be the case even if a man's partner comes off hormonal birth control and starts cycling again (1h5m47s).
• Men who are partnered with women on hormonal birth control may experience an increase in attraction to their partner when they start cycling again, particularly at high fertility points in the cycle (1h6m38s).
• There is research that suggests men's testosterone levels increase in response to the scent of fertile women, such as when they smell t-shirts worn by women at high fertility or vaginal secretions (1h7m12s).
• Studies have shown that smelling women's vaginal secretions, either directly or through a nebulizer, can increase men's testosterone levels (1h7m35s).
• It is possible that men's testosterone levels may be lower when they are partnered with women on hormonal birth control, due to the lack of estrogen presence (1h8m2s).

Will My Testosterone Be Lower If My Partner Is on Birth Control? (1h8m4s)

• Men's testosterone levels are lower on average compared to 50 years ago, and it is possible that the widespread use of hormonal birth control by women may be a contributing factor, although there is no definitive research answer to this question (1h8m5s).
• Lower estrogen levels in the population, potentially caused by hormonal birth control, might also predict lower levels of testosterone in men (1h8m37s).
• Men's testosterone levels tend to decrease when they are in long-term relationships and decrease further when they have children that they care for (1h8m56s).
• Another possible reason for lower testosterone levels in men is the increased caregiving responsibilities they have taken on, which may cause their bodies to decrease testosterone production in response to their changing roles in the home (1h9m15s).
• The decline in testosterone levels over time may be linked to various factors, including exposure to chemicals and changes in men's roles in the home (1h9m9s).
• There is concern about the potential consequences of low birth rates, but it is not solely women's responsibility to ensure they have babies (1h10m6s).
• The decline in reproduction rates and the increasing number of people choosing not to have children may have unknown but potentially negative consequences (1h10m23s).

Is There a Population Crash Coming? (1h11m0s)

• A health product called Zoe has been used for over a year, allowing for tracking of progress and learning how to make smarter choices, with benefits including more energy, better sleep, better mood, and less hunger (1h11m0s).
• Zoe is backed by a recent clinical trial called the Method Study, which is considered the gold standard of scientific research (1h11m10s).
• A 10% discount is being offered to new Zoe users with the code "Steven10" at checkout (1h11m23s).
• A new health product, the Bon Charge infrared sauna blanket, has had a big impact on life and is a sponsor of the podcast (1h11m37s).
• The Bon Charge infrared sauna blanket is something the speaker and their partner are both obsessed with (1h11m44s).

Advertisements (1h11m51s)

• Infrared sauna blankets are designed to provide the same benefits as infrared saunas found at gyms and spas, but they are portable and can be used at home, while traveling, or anywhere in between, heating the body directly rather than the air around it (1h11m52s).
• Using an infrared sauna blanket can improve sleep scores, aid in recovery, reduce muscle soreness, and improve circulation and skin health (1h12m6s).
• Bond Charge infrared sauna blankets are a sponsor, and they offer a 25% discount to listeners who use the code "diary" at checkout, along with free shipping and a year-long warranty (1h12m18s).
• There is a growing concern about men's issues, including depression statistics, suicidality, sexlessness, and the state of the world for men, making it an interesting moment to discuss what it means to be a man (1h12m40s).
• When considering advice for a 15-year-old boy on what it means to be a good man in the modern world, it is essential to acknowledge that there is room for masculinity, as sex demands it, and that a balance can be found (1h13m15s).
• A class called "Evolution, Sex in the Brain" discusses the problematic nature of sex and the importance of seduction, highlighting the challenges of navigating masculinity in modern times (1h13m33s).

What Is a Good Man? (1h13m53s)

• Defining a "good man" can be challenging, as it's often easier to identify when someone is being inappropriate or harassing, but there's a gray area when it comes to seduction and consent (1h13m55s).
• It's essential for men to ensure they have consent before engaging in any physical touch, but this can be a tricky line to toe, as being too cautious can also be detrimental to sex and attraction (1h14m25s).
• Attraction and sexual desire involve a push-and-pull dynamic between the masculine and feminine, and men who are low-status or struggling financially may find it more challenging to navigate dating dynamics (1h15m17s).
• Research suggests that the top 10% of men tend to have more success in dating, while the bottom 50% may struggle to find partners, with some men going a year or more without sex (1h15m39s).
• In contrast, women tend to have an easier time finding sex if they're looking for it, with studies showing that attractive women can often find a partner quickly if they choose to (1h15m57s).
• A classic social psychology study at the University of Florida found that when attractive models approached strangers on campus, 50% of both men and women agreed to go on a date, but the study also explored more intimate requests (1h16m17s).
• The study involved attractive models making one of three requests to strangers: going on a date, going back to their apartment, or having sex, and the results showed that people were more likely to agree to certain requests than others (1h16m42s).

Sex Appetite Across Genders and Why (1h17m5s)

• A study found that when men and women were approached on campus with the question "I find you very attractive, would you go on a date with me?", 50% of both men and women agreed, but the responses diverged significantly after that, with very few women agreeing to go back to the person's apartment or have sex with them, whereas men were more likely to agree to both (1h17m5s).
• The study showed that almost 80% of men agreed to have sex with the person, while men who said no usually had a relationship or other commitments (1h17m41s).
• Historically, women have had higher costs related to sexual behavior due to the minimum investment of 9 months in pregnancy and subsequent time spent breastfeeding, which may have led to women being more cautious in their sexual behavior (1h18m5s).
• In contrast, men have had lower costs related to short-term casual sex, as it can lead to pregnancy and gene transmission without requiring further investment (1h18m41s).
• The costs and benefits of short-term casual sex are vastly different depending on whether one has a male or female body (1h19m1s).
• To increase their chances of forming a relationship, men can try being nice, investing in a woman, and being willing to form a connection (1h19m30s).
• "Bad boys" may receive more sexual attention due to cues related to testosterone, such as being risk-tolerant, willing to take risks, and being slightly arrogant (1h20m4s).

Advice for Young Men Struggling to Get a Woman (1h20m24s)

• Men who possess qualities such as risk-seeking behavior and arrogance tend to do well in the mating market, as these traits are often associated with high testosterone levels and are attractive to women (1h20m24s).
• However, it's possible for men to be successful and have high testosterone without being arrogant, and these individuals can also do well in the mating market (1h21m1s).
• To increase attractiveness, men are advised to go to the gym to naturally increase testosterone levels and build muscle mass, which can also reduce anxiety and increase confidence (1h21m8s).
• In addition to physical improvements, men are advised to work hard and study to gain access to resources and status, as these factors can contribute to success in the mating market (1h21m40s).
• For women, advice is focused on being patient and recognizing that they may be in the wrong mating pool, rather than trying to change themselves to attract men (1h22m11s).
• Women's attractiveness to men is often influenced by factors outside of their control, such as youth and reproductive value, which are related to fertility (1h22m30s).
• While physical improvements like going to the gym may make women feel better, they are not necessarily advised to make significant changes to their appearance to attract men (1h22m49s).
• One potential consideration for women is the impact of birth control on their attractiveness, although this is not a direct piece of advice given in the context (1h23m0s).

Advice for Daughters on Attracting a Man (1h23m15s)

• When advising a daughter on attracting a man, the advice would be to consider a different pool of potential mates, as the current pool may not be suitable (1h23m25s).
• For a 35-year-old woman looking for a partner, a pamphlet could be written with advice on physical appearance, such as considering Botox, a Brazilian butt lift, and spending time on hair and makeup, as men are attracted to features related to youth and fertility (1h23m50s).
• However, this advice may not be the most recommended, as it focuses on physical appearance rather than inner qualities (1h24m20s).
• Confidence is attractive in women, but the degree to which it is prioritized is different between the sexes, and exuding cues related to social dominance and social status may not necessarily attract a mate (1h25m22s).
• While self-assurance and confidence are attractive qualities in women, they may not be as highly valued by men as they are in other women (1h25m20s).
• Men are attracted to women who exhibit confidence, but not necessarily the same type of confidence that is attractive in men, such as dominance or high status (1h25m5s).

Are Men Attracted to Confident Women? (1h25m41s)

• Research suggests that women in positions of power are viewed more negatively than men in similar positions, creating a double standard in how people perceive powerful women, such as those in politics like Kamala Harris, who tend to elicit strong emotions, either being loved or hated (1h25m42s).
• This double standard also applies to confident and assertive women, who are often seen as cold, while men with similar qualities are viewed as having leadership potential (1h26m32s).
• Throughout evolutionary history, women who chose high-status men had preferential access to resources for themselves and their children, but the same pattern does not apply to men choosing high-status women (1h26m55s).
• The concept of "daddy issues" is supported by research, which shows that women whose fathers are absent or uninvested during childhood tend to have more unrestricted or precocious sexual development and behavior (1h27m41s).
• Studies have found that women who grow up without an investing father tend to enter puberty earlier, start having sex at a younger age, and exhibit more promiscuous behavior compared to women who grow up in two-parent homes with investing fathers (1h28m9s).

What Are Daddy Issues? (1h28m36s)

• Women who grow up without their fathers may have a greater number of sexual partners over time compared to those who grow up with two parents in the home (1h28m36s).
• There is some evidence suggesting a possible decrease in ovarian reserve in women who grow up without their fathers, but no direct link has been found to the number of eggs they have in their ovaries (1h28m47s).
• Research has not found a direct link between a woman's perception of a good partner and her father, but it has been found that women tend to prefer partners who are similar to their dads (1h29m14s).
• The birth control pill has been found to have an impact on how women experience stress, with research showing that women on hormonal birth control have a blunted cortisol response to stress (1h29m43s).
• Cortisol is a stress hormone that can have negative effects when experienced in high levels for a long period of time, including causing visceral fat gain and dumping fat and blood into the bloodstream (1h30m2s).
• Chronic stress caused by high cortisol levels can lead to various problems, including weight gain and health issues (1h30m6s).

What Role Does a Father Play in a Woman’s Sexual Partner? (1h30m16s)

• Hormonal birth control can have negative effects, such as raising triglycerides and increasing the risk for heart and cardiovascular problems (1h30m18s).
• Dynamic spikes in cortisol in response to stressful events are actually adaptive and allow for stress regulation, management, and coping (1h30m27s).
• Cortisol is experienced in response to stress for a reason, and it plays a role in helping individuals deal with stress (1h30m39s).
• Research finds that women using hormonal birth control experience a blunted cortisol response to stress (1h30m45s).

What Impact Does the Birth Control Pill Have on Stress? (1h30m51s)

• Research finds that people with PTSD or trauma, and women using hormonal birth control, experience a blunted or absent cortisol response to stress, which can lead to disregulated responses in the immune system and emotional responses (1h30m51s).
• Cortisol plays a role in regulating the inflammatory response to stress and injury, and its dysregulation can lead to issues such as anxiety and depression (1h31m42s).
• Women on hormonal birth control are at an increased risk for developing anxiety and depression, with one study showing that women on the pill were 50% more likely to be diagnosed with depression within 6 months of starting the pill compared to naturally cycling women (1h32m21s).
• The same study found that women on the pill were two times as likely to have attempted suicide than naturally cycling women (1h32m31s).
• The use of hormonal birth control, especially in teenage girls, can significantly increase the risk of developing a mental health disorder and attempting or being successful at suicide (1h32m53s).
• The long-term effects of hormonal birth control on the teenage brain, which is still developing, are not yet fully understood, and it is unclear whether the patterns of mental health problems are reversible (1h33m23s).
• The increased risk of mental health-related problems disproportionately affects young girls who are put on hormonal birth control, making it essential for mothers and young girls to be aware of these risks (1h33m14s).

Depression and Suicide Linked to the Pill (1h33m35s)

• Synthetic hormones in birth control pills suppress normal hormonal variation that occurs across the menstrual cycle and replace it with synthetic hormones, which may impact brain development, particularly during the puberal transition when the brain is remodeling itself from a child version to a grown-up version, a process coordinated by sex hormones (1h33m35s).
• The remodeling of the brain during puberty is a critical process, and replacing naturally occurring sex hormones with synthetics may have an impact on brain development, which is a concern (1h33m52s).
• A 17-year-old girl is at the age where she is making decisions about birth control, and her mother considers it essential to weigh the risks and benefits, including the risk of pregnancy and the potential impact of synthetic hormones on brain development (1h34m13s).
• If the girl is not in a sexual relationship, her mother does not consider hormonal birth control, but if she is sexually active, her mother looks for alternative options that do not introduce exogenous hormones, such as the copper IUD, an intrauterine device that prevents pregnancy without changing women's sex hormones (1h34m45s).
• The copper IUD is considered a good option for sexually active teenagers, as it does not affect sex hormones, and is also known as the coil or copper coil, distinguishing it from other types of coils (1h35m10s).

How Did Sarah Feel About Her Daughter’s Decision on Birth Control? (1h35m29s)

• The IUD (intrauterine device) is a birth control option that can stay in the vagina for up to 5 years without needing replacement, making it a convenient option for women, especially teenagers who may not always think clearly or plan ahead (1h35m30s).
• Teenagers may not be the best candidates for barrier methods like condoms or fertility awareness methods, which require more thought and planning, making the IUD or implant more suitable options (1h35m46s).
• The implant, known as Nexplanon in the US, is a small device inserted into the arm that releases a daily dose of synthetic progesterone, keeping hormones flatlined and preventing ovulation (1h36m49s).
• Hormonal birth control methods like the implant can have various effects on women, including changes in attraction, sex drive, mood, stress response, and ability to build muscle mass (1h37m12s).
• Research has shown that women using hormonal birth control may experience lower levels of testosterone and AMPK, which are important for muscle growth, compared to women who are naturally cycling (1h37m44s).
• Hormonal birth control can influence various aspects of a woman's life, and while it is a necessary option for some, it may not be the best answer for regulating fertility for all women (1h38m28s).
• There is a need for better answers and more research on various topics, including male contraception, and not just male hormonal contraception, as it may not be the answer due to its potential effects on men's hormone production and viable sperm production (1h38m50s).
• Male hormonal contraception works by suppressing men's hormone production to the extent that they no longer produce viable sperm, which may not be a viable solution (1h39m11s).
• It is unlikely that men would sign up for male hormonal contraception due to its potential effects on their hormone production and overall health (1h39m22s).
• The development of male hormonal contraception shifts the problem from women to men, but there are other interesting things happening in the field of contraception (1h39m30s).
• If men had to take a pill that messed with their hormones, it is unlikely that most men would take it, as they would have the option of their partner being on the pill instead (1h39m52s).
• Women take the pill because they have no choice, as they are the ones who get stuck with the pregnancy, and men have the option of their partner being on the pill if they do not want to take it themselves (1h40m15s).

What If Men Had to Take the Pill? (1h40m34s)

• The high cost of pregnancy often leads to women bearing the largest cost of birth control, resulting in them being the ones to go on the pill. (1h40m39s)
• Research on the effects of synthetic sex hormones on brain development in women is limited, but existing studies suggest it may put women at long-term risk of developing major depressive disorder. (1h41m22s)
• The idea of a 17-year-old daughter going on hormonal birth control is concerning, especially during a period of brain development, due to the potential risks and lack of research. (1h41m30s)
• If the daughter were to start taking the pill, the response would be that it's better than getting pregnant, as teenage pregnancy is a significant predictor of poverty in women. (1h42m9s)
• The hope is that as birth control issues for women become more recognized, more options will be developed, and future generations will have better choices. (1h42m28s)
• The most common email received is from women thanking for identifying the changes they experienced while on the pill and providing language to describe their feelings. (1h43m13s)
• There is a blind spot when it comes to the birth control pill, with many people not considering the impact of hormonal changes on a person's brain and identity. (1h43m39s)
• The birth control pill can change who women are, and it's essential to acknowledge this when prescribing or recommending it. (1h44m7s)

What’s the Most Popular Email Sarah Gets? (1h44m24s)

• Many women experience a decrease in libido, which can lead to relationship issues, but it's often not understood that hormonal birth control can be a contributing factor (1h44m25s).
• A personal anecdote is shared about a partner who lost interest in sex, but after stopping the birth control pill and working on herself, she became a "totally different person" with a higher sex drive (1h45m3s).
• The fear that birth control can permanently ruin one's sex drive is not supported by research, and most women can recover their sexual desire after discontinuing the pill, unless they started taking it as a teenager (1h46m3s).
• The long-term effects of taking birth control as a teenager on brain development are still unknown (1h46m16s).
• Dr. Sarah Hill's goal is to make the world a place where women understand themselves and are understood as themselves, rather than being seen as "malfunctioning males" (1h46m57s).
• Understanding women's health, reproductive health, and sexual health can help men become better sons, brothers, husbands, and boyfriends, ultimately improving relationships between the sexes (1h47m23s).

Guest’s Last Question (1h47m51s)

• Understanding the impact of hormones on behavior, mental health, and libido can breed empathy and awareness in relationships, particularly between men and women, and this knowledge can lead to better relationships with mothers, sisters, and partners (1h47m52s).
• Having knowledge about women's sexual health, women's health, and women's reproductive health can significantly change one's life and inform how to be a better father to a daughter in the future (1h48m18s).
• Men's hormones, such as testosterone, also fluctuate dynamically throughout the day and in response to environmental cues, such as the presence of a beautiful woman or the outcome of a favorite sports team, making their hormonal changes more unpredictable than women's (1h49m25s).
• Women's hormones, on the other hand, cycle predictably, and knowing a woman's age and the first day of her last menstrual cycle can provide a high degree of certainty about her primary sex hormones (1h49m54s).
• The book "This Is Your Brain on Birth Control: How the Pill Changes Everything" by Sarah E. Hill provides valuable information on the impact of birth control on women's hormones and overall health (1h50m10s).
• Sarah E. Hill can be found online at sarahhill.com, and she is most active on Instagram at @sarahhillphd, where people can reach out to her with questions or to learn more about her work (1h50m53s).
• The podcast team is meticulous about details, measuring CO2 levels in the studio to ensure optimal cognitive performance, and they have created a diary to help people identify and develop consistency with small actions that can lead to significant positive changes in their lives (1h51m25s).
• The diary, available at thediary.com, is a limited edition and includes pictures, inspiration, motivation, and interactive elements to help people stay focused on making 1% improvements that can compound over time to change their outcomes (1h51m56s).